Original question: Is it better to take more time than a few hours to decide if this is the person you are willing to spend the rest of your life with?
Amarantha: Good grief. My husband and I have already spent more time than that picking out paint colors for our new house. 2 hours? Oi.
aletha: I think the situation would be slightly less absurd if the betrothed had been given the tools necessary to be individual people. It seems scary to me that 2 people who have never been out of their parents house, never really experienced life, and never really had the opportunity to think for themselves- are going to be thrown together and expected to have a perfect marriage.
Phatchick: If it was just the two of them, talking to each other, maybe plenty. But with interfering parents manipulating them; 10 years might not be enough.
Madame: I agree!
You put it a lot more succinctly!
Lareveuse 73: Who can’t fake something for two hours? Sheesh. Absolutely not. This guy could be a serial killer or a puppy eater and she’d be stuck with him. No way.
Trollface MaGee: Wow. Any major life decision where life and limb aren’t at stake should be taken with a lot of consideration. A few hours? I hope that’s an exaggeration because I can think of several dozen far more mundane things I consider for more than a few hours before doing them.
A marriage without planning can be a disaster waiting to happen. Divorce can be messy even when couples are prepared. And just because you don’t expect to divorce, you still should because statistically you just might. Even without divorce, there’s death, illness, taxes, credit scores, criminal history, health history that is essential to know before you get married. Then there’s all the basic compatibility stuff, which I know they consider unimportant because it’s going to be whatever the male wants.
I get young people thinking this is in some way “romantic” because they’re young and horny and have had the “no sex before marriage” drilled into their head. The fact that the grown father would advocate such irresponsibility is maddening.
gimpi1: I have joked for years that my husband and I got married for our 20th anniversary. We met when he was engaged to my cousin, They broke up, and I think he asked me out on the rebound. (I look a bit like her.) We dated for a couple of years, then moved in together. We lived together for 4 years or so, split up, but remained good friends. We got back together after a couple of years, moved back in together, and married after living together for 8 years (the second time). We’ve been married for 14 years, and we’re doing fine. To say we knew each other would be a profound understatement.
Saraquill: Betrothal after only two hours sounds horribly slapdash. I would insist on months of getting to know one another, each other’s families, and other important details.
Alynnef: The couple looks happy in the picture on her blog. It is going to be a big change for her if she moves to Lubbock to be with his family. She looks happy now, I hope she knows what she is doing. From the pictures of the two families, they seem similar in nature so maybe it will be an easy transition for her. I might not agree (at all) with this whole arrangement but I hope she will be happy.
Theo Darling: …Obviously?