by Calulu cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn’t Rape
Vaughn Ohlman’s latest scripture limbo playing fast and loose involves braying that it’s not possible to ‘fall’ in love. Why? Well, because falling is mentioned in the Bible as a negative or passive word according to the few scriptures he managed to pull up and glom together to support his point.
Hey, join in that FUN game, grab some scriptures and claim they mean all sorts of things it’s likely they don’t mean.
Exodus 20:26 – “Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon”
Alrighty then, I declare that because God doesn’t want you walking up steps to the temple because someone might see your naughty bits that clearly God is opposed to the wearing of underwear. Toss those bras, jockstraps, boxers and panties right now!
I could pull up all sorts of odd scriptures and decide to make man-made laws from them, such as the part where during a battle the army used an altar as a latrine, or where King David danced in his underwear before the Ark of the Covenant or perhaps the man that lay on the floor naked prophesying before Samuel.
I bet you’re wondering how Vaughn makes the leap from passive ‘falling’ in love being lust? There’s no Biblical basis for it, he’s making a leap without any logic.
To summarize: We don’t fall in love, we fall in lust. Love is patient, kind, fears no evil. Love is an attribute we demonstrate by our actions. It is our reaction to God’s work in us. It causes us to walk in His ways, to keep His commandments. Love never fails. You cannot fall into it, you can only be granted it by God. You cannot fall into it, you have to hang on to it.
Lust, on the other hand, is often the first step in sin. We desire. We see something and we want it. And, all too often, we then ignore our conscience, our friends, and our God to get the thing.
Or, sometimes, more subtly, our lust works in the opposite direction. Sometimes we fail to do a good thing because our lust isn’t tickled. Consider Jacob’s unconscionable behavior toward Leah. She wasn’t as attractive to him, so he literally ‘hated’ his first wife, taking a second after a one week honeymoon. How’s that for ‘loving’ behavior?
You can fall in lust. You can wake up one morning, or look across the room at some party, and decide you are looking at a good thing. You can desire that thing. That desire can feel overwhelming. It can lure and entice, it can tempt and destroy.
You can’t fall in love, but you can fall in lust. But you shouldn’t.
Love and lust can go hand in hand or they can be separate things entirely. Falling in love is a glorious feeling and mostly devoid of lust. Remember back when you first held your newborn baby and the quickening of your own heart, feelings of lover over flowing for this tiny creature you’d just seen for the first time. It makes no sense, but there it is. How about laying eyes on a good friend that’s ended up being in the only one that knows all your secrets and would never betray you. Or glimpsing the beauty of a small child you don’t know. A puppy, the first snow fall, whatever it is that stirs your heart. Falling, falling in love.
A world without the possibility of falling in love is a pretty bleak cheerless place. Love is not duty and it’s not lust. People that tend to be focused on finding porn, lust and evil sex under every bush have the problem, not those of us that fall in love.
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Calulu lives near Washington DC , was raised Catholic in South Louisiana before falling in with a bunch of fallen Catholics whom had formed their own part Fundamentalist, part Evangelical church. After fifteen uncomfortable years drinking that Koolaid she left nearly 6 years ago. Her blogs are True Love Doesn’t Rape and Calulu – Seeking The Light
NLQ Recommended Reading …
‘Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich
‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland
‘Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce