Nancy Campbell Really Doesn’t Have a Clue How Normal Society Functions

by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous Circumspection
In the October 2013 issue of “Above Rubies,” Nancy Campbell’s magazine to “…encourage women in their high calling as wives, mothers, and homemakers,” Nancy reveals that she really doesn’t know how normal society – read: the rest of us – interact with each other.

It’s quite obvious that she thinks we’re all selfish nincompoops, disregarding family, hating children, and sitting around in front of television screens, watching pornography. If this describes you, then Campbell is correct. But I’ll gander a guess that, while partaking in any one of the above activities I listed doesn’t make you a naughty person at all, you don’t live your life by every one of the above definitions all the time.

Nancy introduces this month’s issue by talking about her gardening and how big her farm is. She lets the readers know that there are always children on her property. She’s a grandmother, after all, with a lot of grandkids. But, as you read, you begin to get the innate sense that Nancy Campbell is talking down to the rest of humanity:

It is amazing that you can have so many young people come together without sending out invitations… We constantly enjoy celebrations and gatherings at our home. No need for organization. Just call the families and we have a huge crowd with loads of fun, antics, and fellowship.

While, to the untrained eye, one not well-versed in the language of a fundamentalist us vs. them superiority complex, this may look like normal conversation, a woman glowing about how great her life is – like a Facebook status. But it isn’t. With fundamentalists, it never is.

See, Nancy thinks we don’t know families with kids. She thinks that in order for us to have a house full of people, we need to send out invitations months ahead of time, order the inflatable jumping houses, buy oodles of pre-prepared foods from the deli, notify the city of the need for additional parking permits for the non-parking zone, and square off an area of the property for the kids, to rid us adults of their snot-nosed peskishness.

Also, we don’t talk. We must just sit around on our phones, ignoring one another, with nothing better to do than write stupid and pointless blog posts like this one.

So, to all my friends that come to my house, to all my neighbors that eat all of my food, drink all of my beer, use all of my diapers, flush all of my toilets, use up all of my lawnmower gas, and make sure your methamphetamine customers don’t walk on my lawn. To all of my enemies that still come around. To all of my kids that have birthday parties with adults and sometimes just kids – disorganized for adults, yet a blast for the kids. Yes, to all of you.

I’m sorry for being such a prudish bore.

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Read everything by Incongruous Circumspection!

I am a 30 something husband of one and father of 6 dynamic and loud children. My wife and I are still madly in love – at least in my view. My world is exciting, tense, and full of life. I love to write and hope to one day, do it full time. – Incongruous Circumspection

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  • Sixes_are_Sevens

    I’d come up with a really good response, but I’m too busy watching pornography and destroying the patriarchy.

  • $66283444

    Hmm. Just this past weekend, we had three generations from two sides of the family and several friends of our teens in our house, and all we did was unlock the front door when we got up. We didn’t even have to call anyone. I guess that means we heathens are even cooler than the fundies! lol

  • Edie Moore McGee

    Yes, all I can say is that she’s never seen my crazy mixed up family. i wonder what Nancy would do with my (at the time) 70-something year-old mother doing “YMCA” with the kids at my wedding reception.

  • $66283444

    I remember watching the Duggar show when Grandpa died. One of the older girls said their grandmother was an excellent example of a devoted wife who stood by her husband in his last days. It stuck with me; do these folks think non-fundies just drop the old and sick off at the pound? I started looking closer at my family (three generations of divorce, some children born out of wedlock, colorful pasts full of alcohol, wild partying and tattoos, etc.) and it dawned on me: Family is family. They’re the folks who know all about you and don’t slam the door when you walk up onto the porch. lol

  • Edie Moore McGee

    Exactly. There are families that are close and loving. There are families that are not. I think about the fundigelical families who’ve rejected their own flesh and blood who are no longer part of the flock. And I think about one of the most delightful and crowded Thanksgiving celebrations I’ve ever attended, in the home of a woman who is an agnostic. Her friends and family were just as thankful and loving as anyone I’ve ever known.

  • $66283444

    The irony of it all is that Jesus sought out the abandoned and overlooked, and it was with those “unlovables” he spent his time.

  • Nea

    I get the impression that she doesn’t think the rest of the world is quite real, or that “reality tv” is actually a faithful,depiction of the non-qf world. What, precisely, precludes the secular world from having large, constant pickup parties?

    ETA: I once threw a 24-hour party. Things just kind of perked along even when some folks were asleep.

  • Lauren Borrero

    I wonder if Nancy ever knew what normal was at one time. I kinda feel bad for her. It’s sad when people become fundies.

  • Jennifer

    Love it, Suzanne.