Dear Family, Friends and Former Parishioners

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserEditor's note: Posting this because sometimes it's a good idea to stop and look back to measure just how far we've come from our old life.What follows is the letter I sent in April 2009 to my family, friends and former parishioners. This letter came after Polly and I attended church for the 2008 Sunday before Thanksgiving. I am republishing it here so it is part of the historical narrative of my life. I know many of you have read this before but I hope you will read it again. As I reread this, I am reminded that what I wrote here is still, almost 6 years later, the motivating factor of my life.  The … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: If Your Husband Is A Yeller Just Suck It Up With No Complaining?

by Larry Solomon from Biblical Gender Roles - 10 Reasons Christian Couples Should NOT See Marriage Counselors as always linked through Do Not Link for your safety and the admin's sanity.Editor's note: This piece is just a buffet of crazy toxic marriage advice it's going to take a few days to unpack the most harmful nonsensical bits. Today he's claiming that a husband that yells at you is no reason to run to the counselor at all. I don't know, sounds pretty abusive to me. One of my cats cannot stand anyone raising their voices around him, he was abused as a kitten and at 7 years old still reacts. It's abusive to him. How can it not also be abusive to a child or a woman? We'll be posting … [Read more...]

Created To Need A Help Meet: Part 4 Contrasting The Types (Every Man Will Lose His Wife–Unless He Follows Michael’s Advice)

by Aletha cross posted from her blog Yllom Mormonp 131-132We are still contrasting the three types of men. Today, though, we're going into depth about the weaknesses and strengths of Mr. Command, the Visionary, and Mr. Steady. Michael even makes some decent points. Text is in purple … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: No Man Can Correct Another Man In Front Of His Family?

by Larry Solomon of Biblical Gender Roles - 10 Reasons Christian Couples Should NOT See Marriage Counselors and as always safely linked through Do Not LinkEditor's note: In this bit it seems like Larry thinks that any other man correcting a man in front of his wife and family is somehow cutting off the scoldee's testicles if I'm parsing this right. I don't know, if you were doing something so toxic that it was having a deleterious affect on your family wouldn't you want the opinion of a highly trained professional so that you could make needed adjustments to stop hurting your family? … [Read more...]

Part 6: Building on Emotional Self Regulation – Adventures in Ambiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much Grace In the previous post, we explored the challenge of developing a healthy sense of personal power that we encounter when we exit a high demand group. How on earth can we get through life with a faulty set of coping tools, where do we go to learn them, and how can we figure out how to be balanced when all we've seen modeled for us is extremes of power and of emotion?   This topic is a huge one, but a person can do a lot of good work on their own to develop healthy Emotional Self-Regulation after exiting.REMEMBER:  As with all things that make generalizations about groups of people, if this doesn't describe your experience after … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Be Friends With Non-Believers To Keep From Being Judged?

by Sarah Beth from Daughters of the King - Your CommunicationsEditor's note: Wait now, I'm confused here. Didn't Jesus himself hang out with tax collectors, whore and drunkards and didn't care what others thought of him as a result? This budding female cultural enforcer says just the opposite. … [Read more...]

News: The Josh Duggar Mess Intensifies

This past Thursday afternoon there was a meeting in Pennsylvania between both sides in the ongoing lawsuit against Josh Duggar. So far no word on what happened in that get together. One of the big issues with the case is that the federal judge has required plaintiff Danica Dillon to show the courts any proof that what she alleges Josh Duggar did to her during two paid sexual encounters impacted her ability to earn a living. According to The Inquistr her attorney asked for an extension on the time frame to gather and submit that proof during the Thursday meeting. … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – How To Act Around Guys That You Like?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Be Good to Keep Others From Gossiping About You?

by Sarah Beth of Daughters of the King - BusybodyEditor's note: This blog is run by several girls that posted frequently at Debi Pearl's 'Preparing To Be A Help Meet' message board.  Another look into the fascinating juvenile mind set of young adult women raised in the extremes of fundamentalism and quiverfull. Someone complaining about a busybody and this young lady's take is that you have to extra good to stop the busybodies. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way, and that lifestyle seems to make most women think that they are cultural enforcers as well as wives an mothers. … [Read more...]

Part 5: Pitfalls in Personal Power – Adventures in Ambiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll imaged by Cindy Kunsman of Under Much Grace used with permission In the previous post, we explored a couple of ways a person can work on their own to develop better Emotional Self-Regulation after exiting or after growing up in a high demand group. Healthy internal dialogue and building self concept provide individuals with a good opportunity to do a great deal of healing and growth on their own.The concept of “Locus of Control” comes from the study of the psychology of personality and is viewed as another important aspect or component of self concept. It refers to the amount of control that a person bel … [Read more...]


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