Questioning the Pearls – Spank Them Happy?

For well over a year we’ve been running a second Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ on Sundays, filled with questions by young ladies trying to get ready for marriage. Since we’ve run through many of the questions on their site it’s time to shift Sundays to something else, like perhaps examining the cornucopia of probably fake emails and questions that Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy post on their website and the possibly poisonous answers they give. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Marriage Counseling is Just Mud Slinging?

by Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church - Why I Don't Do Marriage CounselingEditor's note: Steven has a point that many people that go to the pastor to have him mediate a squabble are looking mostly for justification. Marriage counseling, or at least dealing with sudden crisis in the marriages of his congregation, is part of most pastors job description. Oh yeah, he's part of the make it up as you go along movement in Evangelical Fundamentalism without any structure or authority over him. … [Read more...]

Is It a Sin to Kiss My Boyfriend?

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserEvery day, without fail, women somewhere in the world search for “is it a sin to kiss my boyfriend?” Thanks to the post, Hey Girlfriend: Is it a Sin to Kiss Your Boyfriend?, this blog is the number one Google search result. I can’t remember the last time I looked at search logs and didn’t see a handful of female visitors coming to this site to find out whether it is okay to swap spit with their boyfriends. I say female visitors, because I’ve never seen someone come to my site as a result of a “is it a sin to kiss my girlfriend” web search. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Selfishly Avoiding Commitments Like Marriage?

by Ladies Against Feminism and Derek Rishmway - Boundaries, Commitment and ChoiceEditor's note: Claims that too many choices means decision by indecision and no one commits by the cultural enforcers at LAF. Limiting freedoms is what they are all about, at least for women. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 Lori Alexander is the Most Modest Ever?

by Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife - The Harm in Worldly FineryEditor's note: Anyone remember all the times Lori talked in her blog about having to have her home looking a certain way or perfectly decorated before she was convicted about simplicity? Even with simplicity she's living in one of the most expensive areas of the country where there aren't many homes that would fit her own definition of simple living. Nice fat shaming in the last paragraph, plus her don't exercise too much. Lori has very narrow definitions for everything. What a miserable joyless way to live. … [Read more...]

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsJust as in “Frozen,” my “shame” was in being “found out.”Not that I was really hiding anything.  Because if what happened to me – the condemnation, ostracism, shunning – if all of that was appropriate, then why would it need to be hidden?  The simple fact that I was told from the beginning that I was not to talk about it smacks of “what we are doing here is NOT appropriate.” … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 Lori Alexander is the Most Modest Ever?

by Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife - The Harm in Worldly FineryEditor's note: While Lori isn't speaking about the sin of yoga pants this seems very hypocritical from the few photos she has of herself posted online. While not arrayed in a ton of gold, pearls or designer goods she looks very well dressed. According to this below you should take care to look plain, making it sound like if you do not adorn yourself in cast offs too humble even for Goodwill then you are sinning. Oh the slippery slope of judging the modest of others merely opens it up for others to judge you. Best to wear what's suitable that you like and not worry about the modest of others for them. … [Read more...]

NLQ Question of the Week: Why Do Quiverfull People Vote Against Their Own Benefit?

This is a series we run every Thursday. The questions are things that people who may not know much about the Quiverfull movement or even Fundamentalist or Evangelical Christianity ask about the lifestyle. Examining some of the questions involving long held Quiverfull theology and life can only shine a light on the toxic nature of this lifestyle choice. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Bible Only Godly Entertainment?

by Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife - Do You Have Godly Conversations?Editor's note: Lori is still quoting Charles Spurgeon, insisting that reading your Bible and laying in the sun are two of the few Godly ways to find entertainment. What is interesting about this entire piece that I've quoted over the course of days in December and now in January is that it seems most of the things Spurgeon is talking about and Lori is seizing upon are things that are 100% opposite of what she does on her blog. There is some heavy duty cognitive dissonance going on here! … [Read more...]

Bonding and Bondage in Abusive Relationships

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the ShepherdIn case you're wondering why you can't "just get over it" from a painfully abusive or damaging or destructive relationship: Trauma bonding makes any relationship harder to end, harder to heal, harder to find freedom from through forgiveness, than the loss of a true love. The neural pathways burned into a brain in trauma bonding are laid down in powerful fear/anxiety hormonal rushes leaving even comparatively good memories with the person colored with the stains of those traumatic events. The loss of anyone we have loved -- whether they have treated us very well indeed or in a deplorable manner -- is something that will heal … [Read more...]