Quoting Quiverfull: No Man Can Correct Another Man In Front Of His Family?

by Larry Solomon of Biblical Gender Roles - 10 Reasons Christian Couples Should NOT See Marriage Counselors and as always safely linked through Do Not LinkEditor's note: In this bit it seems like Larry thinks that any other man correcting a man in front of his wife and family is somehow cutting off the scoldee's testicles if I'm parsing this right. I don't know, if you were doing something so toxic that it was having a deleterious affect on your family wouldn't you want the opinion of a highly trained professional so that you could make needed adjustments to stop hurting your family? … [Read more...]

Part 6: Building on Emotional Self Regulation – Adventures in Ambiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much Grace In the previous post, we explored the challenge of developing a healthy sense of personal power that we encounter when we exit a high demand group. How on earth can we get through life with a faulty set of coping tools, where do we go to learn them, and how can we figure out how to be balanced when all we've seen modeled for us is extremes of power and of emotion?   This topic is a huge one, but a person can do a lot of good work on their own to develop healthy Emotional Self-Regulation after exiting.REMEMBER:  As with all things that make generalizations about groups of people, if this doesn't describe your experience after … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Be Friends With Non-Believers To Keep From Being Judged?

by Sarah Beth from Daughters of the King - Your CommunicationsEditor's note: Wait now, I'm confused here. Didn't Jesus himself hang out with tax collectors, whore and drunkards and didn't care what others thought of him as a result? This budding female cultural enforcer says just the opposite. … [Read more...]

News: The Josh Duggar Mess Intensifies

This past Thursday afternoon there was a meeting in Pennsylvania between both sides in the ongoing lawsuit against Josh Duggar. So far no word on what happened in that get together. One of the big issues with the case is that the federal judge has required plaintiff Danica Dillon to show the courts any proof that what she alleges Josh Duggar did to her during two paid sexual encounters impacted her ability to earn a living. According to The Inquistr her attorney asked for an extension on the time frame to gather and submit that proof during the Thursday meeting. … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – How To Act Around Guys That You Like?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Be Good to Keep Others From Gossiping About You?

by Sarah Beth of Daughters of the King - BusybodyEditor's note: This blog is run by several girls that posted frequently at Debi Pearl's 'Preparing To Be A Help Meet' message board.  Another look into the fascinating juvenile mind set of young adult women raised in the extremes of fundamentalism and quiverfull. Someone complaining about a busybody and this young lady's take is that you have to extra good to stop the busybodies. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way, and that lifestyle seems to make most women think that they are cultural enforcers as well as wives an mothers. … [Read more...]

Part 5: Pitfalls in Personal Power – Adventures in Ambiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll imaged by Cindy Kunsman of Under Much Grace used with permission In the previous post, we explored a couple of ways a person can work on their own to develop better Emotional Self-Regulation after exiting or after growing up in a high demand group. Healthy internal dialogue and building self concept provide individuals with a good opportunity to do a great deal of healing and growth on their own.The concept of “Locus of Control” comes from the study of the psychology of personality and is viewed as another important aspect or component of self concept. It refers to the amount of control that a person bel … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Getting to Know Your Intended Spouse Isn’t Needed?

by Anonymous from the blog Necessarily Anonymous - How I Learned to Stopping Worrying and Love Arranged Marriages Part 2Editor's note: Now he's saying that a few rational questions about lifestyle and theology are much more important than any amount of simply getting to know the person. What if everything theologian lines up but there's zero attraction, no spark and clashing personality types? Making sure theology is similar is somehow more important than those other indicators of future happiness? That's a recipe for a toxic relationship. … [Read more...]

March For Life & Site News

Just a quick note to let you know not to worry if NLQ does not update much this weekend. Right at this moment the Northern Virginia area is the middle of winter storm Jonas. There's about six inches on the ground that has fallen since noon. The area I am in is projected to get 30 inches or thereabouts if the Washington D.C. area weathermen are to be believed. With that much snow we sometimes lose power here in the Piedmont area. If that happens it will be impossible for me to update the site. Internet has been spotty already today. But we will return as soon as possible if the power goes out. … [Read more...]

Part 4 – The Map is Not the Territory: Adventures in Abiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images in the piece by Cindy Kunsman and used with permission. And the territory is definitely not the map.   This saying came from a scientist and philosopher named Alfred Korzybski who launched the study of how human understanding and the nervous system intersected, particularly concerning how language shapes our perceptions. He was a Polish-born Russian who served in World War I as an intelligence officer, but he became a citizen of the U.S. In 1940.The original phrase that Korzybski coined in 1933 illustrates the problem of mistaking an abstraction of something for the genuine article. Another wise f … [Read more...]