Gender Roles and Shame

After a very long day of renewing residency/immigration papers together, I asked my husband if he could help me pick up around the house and sweep the kitchen. He replied that he was beat and just needed to veg for a bit. Almost immediately I was overwhelmed with shame.I stumbled out to the kitchen and looked around at yesterday’s crumbs all over the floor. I waded into the living room through the piles of laundry the girls had scattered across the floor that morning. Tears pushed at my eyes. What was wrong with me? This was my work, my job. What had possessed me to ask my husband to pull my weight as well as his own? I should be able to keep up with this work by myself, in fact, if I was k … [Read more...]

Hope?: ‘Twas The Write Before Christmas Day 3

This post wasn't planned, but when I saw today's prompt I couldn't resist. I feel as though this songs summarizes this year in faith for me."I heard the bells on Christmas dayTheir old familiar carols playAnd mild and sweet their songs repeatOf peace on earth good will to men"Joy: I’ve heard the story my whole life. The God who becomes man, who comes to the earth to save humanity from their sins. This God who loves us enough to be unable to leave us in hopelessness. It sounds so sweet, so mild and gentle. It seems like anyone who knows the old familiar story would be filled with joy, except I’m not."And in despair I bowed my headThere is no peace on earth I saidFor hate is strong and moc … [Read more...]

When I put myself in Time Out

Time out is used pretty rarely around here these days. A few times a week someone may have an “out-of-control” moment and need to sit in the big chair for a few minutes with mom and calm down. But for the most part it just isn’t needed. But recently, I was in time out myself. I never used to swear, but after getting married I got into some bad habits of saying certain words out loud when I was angry. I was angry alot for the first few years of marriage, and only in the last year have I figured out where some of that anger was coming from and started to deal with it. I’m not really a screamer, and I have never swore at my kids. But I for sure have had to many moments where I tripped over … [Read more...]

Home Again

Wow, it feels like we were gone a month. Enough happened on this trip to make it a pretty miserable experience. We had some tense moments with family, including two instances where I lost my cool. I saw siblings being punished for meaningless reasons. I saw my kids requests or interests get ignored by little aunts and uncles who don’t know what it means to have their own interests or requests respected. I had the usual weird comments from parents on how I had “been their most difficult child” ( So um, the child who didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, go anywhere, have any friends, never dated much less became sexually active, was somehow the most difficult?) and how they know me better than I know … [Read more...]

Saturday Evening Post #10

Every month Elizabeth Esther invites us to share the latest and greatest from our blogs. Run over to read all the great entries and maybe share something from your own blog.I usually share something deep and pithy, something that I've been wrestling with. This time around I decided to link a silly post I wrote in the spur of the moment and it turned into one of my most popular posts ever"If you ask your pregnant wife for sex...". … [Read more...]

Quick Takes #30: Random Confessions

1.I love Christmas. I have so many good childhood memories of Christmastime. I love putting up lights and decorating my house. I love all the little traditions. I love stuffing stockings for early Christmas morning (stockings always have the best gifts of all!). I love listening to Christmas music (how else can I explain how the line " God is not dead nor does he sleep" from "I heard the bells on Christmas day" always makes me cry?)That being said, we pick and choose what we do. We only bake a few batches of cookies, and we give most of them away. I don't send Christmas cards ( I NEVER have them done on time). I don't buy the latest and and greatest toy for my kids. I am always on the l … [Read more...]