This year I didn’t go to a Halloween party but, instead, I put cobwebs around the flat and I carved a pumpkin (it is already decomposing quite considerably! Damn it Lidl!). Although my celebrations were not huge this year and I didn’t dress up, I still feel satisfied with my level of halloweeness but it got me feeling rather sad about my Halloweens from my past. My halloweens growing up were non-existent. Halloween is becoming a bigger deal in the… Read more

I have always struggled to find where I fit in, I have tried to fit in to so many organisations, so many friendship groups, so many careers, but I have not ever truly succeeded in fitting in to any of them. I have tried to fit in to a particular group so much so that I have created separate identities for myself, sub identities that are never fully the real whole version of me. For example, most recently I was… Read more

I am currently in Northern Ireland visiting my family and as we drove through the city where I went to school, I saw a series of skull and cross-bone flags alongside the Union Jack and the Northern Irish Flags on a row of street lamps, just like what you see in the photo above. I lived in Northern Ireland when I was aged 10 – 18 and have come back regularly to visit friends and family since then over the past ten… Read more

I applied for a job and had an interview last week. I had strange feelings about it from the beginning, the hours sounded fabulous but there was something about the vibe of the interview and the place that put me on edge. I never used to believe in vibes, I always thought that it was god giving me insider information and that was why I knew more than other people or was able to read situations better. when I became an atheist… Read more

I have been away for some time from this blog, embarrassingly long and I apologise for that. I have had a difficult few months due to the stress that has come with my employment contract ending and some difficulties with my manager, along with other things. It got to the point that it was all too much that I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I took my life into my own hands. A month ago I handed my notice in to my… Read more

Who is that staring back at me? I sometimes wonder what would happen if I met the religious me from over 10 years ago, would I recognise her? And would we be friends? The funny thing is, yes I think we would be friends. The religious me would befriend the nonreligious me, thinking that she could convert this wayward, lost and unhappy soul. The old me would not see how happy I am now. But would guess that I was… Read more

How to be in the world I found being in the world pretty scary. For those of you who have never been an evangelical christian, being “in the world” means being in the ungodly parts of society and associating with people and things that are deemed unholy. At various times in my life I attended Pentecostal, Baptist, Vineyard (similar to Pentecostal), Presbyterian, Church of England and Quaker services, and at all of these I got the message to varying degrees of… Read more

Memoirs of Praying For Rain : Chapter 4  I was about 5 when we got on the plane to Ouagadougou, the capital city of Burkina Faso. I had flown before but I was a baby then so to me this was the first time I had been in a plane. We got a few planes, but the last one to Ouaga (as we ended up calling it) was a massive plane that seemed to just go on and on and… Read more

Memoirs of Praying for Rain  When I was about four, my family left Northern Ireland and temporarily moved to the south of France for 6 months to learn French. We needed to speak French so that when we made the final move to Burkina Faso, we would be able to communicate a little with people when we got there. We needed to be immersed in the language to learn it quickly, so we were placed in a home with a… Read more

Memoirs of Praying For Rain “It was for this He called you through our gospel, that you may gain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ” 2 Thessalonians 2:14 I do not remember the exact moment that I was told that god  was calling us to leave Northern Ireland, but I do remember feeling like whatever was happening around me was important. We went to church every week and my parents went to a lot of meetings related to church normally,… Read more




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