Should I give them a Bigfoot sighting?

a poster from last year’s traveling show

I’m trying to talk myself out of going to the Bigfoot Believers conference today, (Saturday).  It would be such a waste of time and money.  Plus imagine the sort of granola required to make up that audience.  But morbid curiosity and my desire to be an asshole to gullabelievers are beckoning.  I couldn’t help but destroy the Q&A by dissing their beloved wookie monster.  It also bugs me that they could have an event that silly in the Forth Worth Convention Center of all places.  I didn’t think we had that many tin foil haberdasheries in this part of the country.  I really shouldn’t go, and I’m not going to go because I won’t pay $35.00 for general admission to make fun of these people. But as one who was once mistaken for Sasquatch by so many witnesses that it resulted in a newspaper article on the ‘sightings’, it would be a shame that people have come all this way and they won’t get to meet any of the sources of the sightings they’re so excited about. Of all the places I’ve been invited to speak, I think I should be at this one. Because honestly I once believed in Bigfoot too -until I realized I was him.

Maybe I’ll stop by the flying saucer festival in Roswell on my way to TAM this summer instead.

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  • Hayden

    You should stand right outside at a makeshift “Meet the Real Sasquatch” booth.

  • michaelfisher

    Yes ~ save your cash!

    I’m a Brit & I don’t get your Granola reference [ breakfast food & snack food]:-

    “…imagine the sort of granola required to make up that audience”

    Is granola a term of abuse over in Texas?

    • Reginald Selkirk

      Granola = fruits, nuts & flakes.

  • Kees

    Don’t keep us hanging like that… What is the story behind your fame as BigFoot?

    • Mak, acolyte to Farore

      He talks about it some in this video:

      It’s a pretty funny story.

      • Kees

        Much obliged. That was pretty funny.

  • yazikus

    @2 I believe it is a reference to “crunch hippie” types, who also tend to enjoy the breakfast & snack food.

  • yazikus

    That was meant to be crunchy

  • a. thomas stengel

    Did you mean ‘tin-foil milliner’?

  • athyco

    Have you heard if anyone has been interested in taking up the A-News “peace process” now that the first one you were to moderate (the day after this post) was cancelled?

  • Camomile Lox

    By realizing its you, did you mean they spotted “Bigfoot” one day, and there were so many people reporting you believed it, only to realize that the person at the location and the time they spotted him must have been you?

  • Camomile Lox

    As for Bigfoot though… I’m open to the possibility.. I just wouldn’t be sure where he came from… for example, where all was he spotted, what year did this crap start? I don’t imagine him just showing up in places recently (as in 1990+) where there aren’t other primates… I would’ve imagined a primate evolving into a bigfoot… ehh…

  • nemothederv

    I imagine that the *granola* is top notch. It would also, almost certainly, make for a great story to tell.

    Go do the “observe and report” thing and be sure to get a doggy bag.