PandaMania Bible Summer Camp… Mascot Fail

I’m sure many of you will remember last week’s story about the Fort Bragg Garrison Chaplain’s annual Vacation Bible School.

It turns out that many of our members are familiar with VBS products. Apparently, there are a few companies that launch new VBS packages every couple of years. This year, parents who sign the permission slip from the Fort Bragg schools are signing their children up for the PandaMania VBS package.

Our lively Facebook community had responses filled with witty Panda references. Of Panda’s And People, a famous Creationist textbook. The Panda’s Thumb – a book by the late Stephen Jay Gould, also used for the title of a popular creationism-debunking blog. PandaManiac, PandaMonium, and other puns popped up as well. But they missed one.

I’ll just leave this here.

Large version here.


r/atheism pointed me to an epic video from 2009:


Facebook pointed me to a painting from 1653:

“The Children of Bethel Mourned by Their Mothers” – Le Hire, Paris 1653

So it seems this strange tale from 2 Kings has puzzled humans for quite a while.

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  • Anarimus

    Actually Pandas are more related to raccoons than bears.

    and that picture will give me waking nightmares…

    How the fuck is that panda still clean?

    • Justin Griffith


      Giant pandas are descended from the same ancestral carnivores as bears, raccoons, dogs, and cats, and so are placed in the order Carnivora (carnivores) within the class Mammalia (mammals). Pandas have, however, almost entirely lost the meat-eating habit. It is not yet fully resolved whether giant pandas are more closely related to the bear family (Ursidae) or the raccoon family (Procyonidae).

      He’s still clean because cleanliness is next to godliness. Duh! 🙂

      Actually, I was going to add blood to the panda, but I kind of rushed it. It used to be a picture of Tin Man from Wizard of Oz, with the caption “Now I Have a heart”.

      Best comment from our Facebook so far:
      Mad Maxine: not to mention other bad examples such as “Pedobear” and the Mohammed in a bear costume South Park episode…

  • Annie

    Hmm. I just checked out the permission slip. Do you think they would accept a child into the program if a parent wrote “athiest” for religious affiliation? I wouldn’t subject any child to VBS, but I wonder…

    • Justin Griffith

      I assume they would be very interested in accepting non-Christian children.

  • Don

    Ah, the irony of using fictitious characters to promote belief in fictitious characters…