This was actually sent out to a lot of people by someone in the Army. I’ll spare identifying details, but you deserve +1 internets.
It’s pretty funny, and it got our attention. Apparently people are succumbing to the Norovirus left and right. The warning message about this outbreak might have just been ignored by many people. We get weird stuff in our inbox all the time.
I recommended laying down, relaxing, and watching Human Centipede 2.
I’m probably going to get Norovirus myself for being a bastard. Sorry, buddy! Get well soon.