Is it just me, or does childbirth look easy?

Pro-tip, never say that when you are in the maternity ward.

When my daughter Zoe was born, I made that remark. I was trying to make my wife smile and take her mind off the pain. The nurse yelled at me. She told me that I was way off base. The nurse told me that I could never know that kind of pain.

Perhaps.

Anyway, I’ve been away from my daughter Zoe for longer than she’s been alive. That’s something I never want to be able to say again. She’s adorable, and my wife has done an amazing job as a de-facto single mom. Look at how precious she is!

And she thinks that I live inside the computer.

Muffins

It seems a scientific study has been undertaken by a man on reddit. The results are epic and it was voted ‘best comment on all of reddit’.

So is it just me, or does childbirth look easy?

About Justin Griffith
  • Scott Belyea

    It’s just your stunning ignorance. As a start, try http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2006/07/bipedal-body/ackerman-text/2

  • plutosdad

    I’ve had kidney stones, and women that have given birth and had kidney stones have told me the kidney stones were much worse. But does that give me moral authority to speak on pain? Not so in their minds. We just can’t win! :)

    Also, my S.O. left an unflushable thing in the toilet once, i had to use a pencil to break it up (and threw out the pencil) so she even beats me in that too!

    • Nomen Nescio

      …ancient joke: how did the mathematician solve his constipation?

  • Bryony Vaughn

    TMI ALERT:

    I gave birth to seven children drug-free. The only time it was REALLY painful was when a posterior labor rotated lateral and split my pubic symphasis in two and another time when I had a posterior labor and the face presented first. The pain was temporary, in the case of the split pubic bone a fraction of a second, and I dealt with it fine without drugs.

    I have a cold and developed sinus pain. I woke up last night feeling like someone was using a crowbar to wrench my top molars out of my head. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t function, I was miserable, and I took pain meds. How’s that for perspective?

    FWIW my births were homebirths. With the hum and flicker of fluorescent lights, the echo off the tile floors, strangers coming and going and prodding me all the time… I don’t know that I could have had drug-free births in a hospital. Stress kills my coping ability.

    • magistramarla

      Bryony,

      I agree with you on every point. I gave birth to my first in the hospital, and my husband and I had to fight to keep it drug-free. I went on to have four more at home, one sunny-side-up. I found childbirth to be quite easy, as long as I was left alone to do what I needed to do.

      I worked as an assistant to my midwife, and I witnessed 35 more beautiful births. Several times, ladies who had previously experienced highly medicated births or C-sections cried in my arms when they experienced a beautiful, un-medicated birth. We worked hard to educate Moms back in the ’70s, and there were some great programs out there – Lamaze, LeBoyer, Bradley and of course, La Leche League. It seems that much of that education has been lost on the new generation of Moms, and I strongly suspect that the healthcare system has suppressed much of it for it’s own profit.

      I agree with you that the pain that I am dealing with now as a middle-aged woman is much worse than childbirth. I have autoimmune issues and spastic paraplegia, which means that I deal with constant, chronic pain – much, much worse than having those babies!

  • Glodson

    Sorry, but until I see that man on reddit with my own eyes do such a feat, I will not believe it. And unless he spent hours on that bowel movement, he still wouldn’t know.

    When my wife had our child, it was an 18 hour labor. A pain that I can imagine must be the separation from that lovely little girl. I know that I have a hard time dropping our little monster off at the daycare. It must be heart rending to be so far away. Here’s hoping that you get a very happy reunion soon, and that you won’t have to face such a separation again.

  • geocatherder

    Anecdotes aside, childbirth is relatively easy for some women, and hideously difficult for others. Anatomical variation, sensitivity to pain, size of the baby, and training in how to cope with the process are all variables. Every mother experiences childbirth differently. To say “it looks easy” based on one-point extrapolation is an unfounded conclusion.

    • http://raisinghellions.wordpress.com/ Lou Doench

      We’ve had 3, the second and third “natural” and our experiences ran the gamut, from crazy painful with the first to much easier with the third.

      My vasectomy…. OMFG that was painful.

  • http://www.digitaIpoint.com Julietta Falin

    Howdy just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your post seem to be running off the screen in Firefox. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design and style look great though! Hope you get the issue fixed soon. Thanks Also I want to ask you something else. I ‘ve heard the HCG Diet is a very good way to lose weight quickly. is that true? And one more thing, have you ever heard about the “telic 22 diet”? (google it to learn about it) Ive heard some great things about it and my coworker lost a ton of weight with it.

  • http://killedbyfish.blogspot.com feralboy12

    Four years ago I sat on a jury in a malpractice suit resulting from an injury to a baby during birth. We were shown numerous charts and diagrams with complete anatomical details, and the whole process of childbirth was explained.

    I came away believing that childbirth was, in fact, impossible.

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  • Corine Devincenzi

    If people associate it with 4chan, it would be bad or moot.it, not 4chan.


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