Parkour for Jesus

Parkour for Jesus? Unfortunately, this is a thing.

About a year ago, my wife sent me a link to a craigslist ad for a guy who was starting a Parkour for Jesus group. Parkour, of course is the ‘sport’ of freestyle walking and running.

I found the screen-capture of the long deleted personal ad, and it made me laugh all over again. I had to whip up something in photoshop to celebrate (above).

I love craigslist weirdos. This is one of the finest examples. I actually contacted this guy after a few beers. I suggested that we all do parkour at the local planned parent hood parking lot. Jesus was sure to be impressed as our ninja-moves shamed those women! The guy pretty much instantly called me out and was pretty nice about it. He thought it was a funny suggestion.

Anyway, I have no idea if he ever got that group up and running out here in the Fort Bragg area. But if he had, it would have looked like this:

Have any readers had any run-ins with Christian parkour groups? Is parkour still trendy?

I’ll be bringing you plenty more of my investigations into the para/abnormal on craigslist. Fayetteville/Fort Bragg’s craigslist page is an untapped goldmine for crazy talk.

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  • Kate, Monster

    Have you checked for flyers on teh Meta Mile trail?

    • Justin Griffith

      no, what’s that?

      • Kate, Monster

        It’s that trail that runs inside the fence by the Yadkin gate, and runs under the All American, round about. I got there by taking the access behind the trailers that house CAPOC, near the Green Beret Club place, um…the road off Riley where it curves up right before the KFC and gas station.

  • Crommunist

    Best part: guy’s e-mail is “dirty_boy”.

  • Parkour? Well, now I can put a name to what I’ve seen Huxley doing. He’s 2 (today in fact!)

    I assume this young man was eventually arrested for damaging people’s property for jesus, right?

    Anyway, I’ve never seen this in Minneapolis, but I think they do it all the time over in Saint Paul.

    • Justin Griffith

      I think the non-Jesus version is quite popular on college campuses.

  • Please tell me this is a really good spoof.

    • F

      It’s a really good spoof. I LMAO’d.

    • Justin Griffith

      I’m serious. This is not a spoof. I LMAO too, but I also cried a little. And I think I threw up in my mouth. Then I laughed some more.

  • Seattle is big into Parkour and these kids suck at it.

    Poor jesus can’t get no Parkour respect.

    • Boadinum

      I’ve seen serious Parkour videos,with people walking up walls and jumping off roofs. These “Parkours for Jesus” stunts are lame…and the song had me tasting my own vomit.

      I bet Jeebus never Parkoured. Kinda hard to do when you’re wearing a dress.

  • there are more serious once than this but anyways good you did it

  • Aw the whole thing is just a ripoff of “Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life.” Now that was a song.

  • Damn, I can’t seem to get the images to load properly on this website. I am using firefox 3.4… yes, I know I really need to upgrade, but several of my add-ons aren’t capatable with FF8. Anyways, I thoguht I’d let you know of the issue. Late.

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  • Guest

    I hope you guys come to know Jesus he sure wants to know you