Large dresser $50, seller promises it is *NOT HAUNTED*

Local Craigslist strikes again. This time I think the seller is funny, and not insane (in stark contrast to the others).

The ad reads:

Large DRESSER- Not Haunted – $50

This is a large dresser that has durable drawers. It has wear on the top left, lower left corner, and is missing a knob. Otherwise, it is very solid. It is about 48′ wide. I have my cell phone in the picture for size. It isn’t haunted, the orbs in the photo are from dust, not ghosts

The image is below the fold.

Look at the ghosts orbs. And what about the box in the lower right? Who moved those drawers? Who moved the cell phone? Pretty spooky!

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  • Stacy

    Damn. I’ve been looking for a haunted dresser just like that one.

  • Sean

    Where would I put a 48 foot wide dresser?

  • Nomen Nescio

    in my town, as in so many other little midwestern towns, we have a lot of empty commercial real estate. in particular, there’s this one old factory building next to the (disused) railroad tracks which also happens to be next to a bike path, an intersection of well trafficked roads, and the local library — think empty old warehouse in a high pedestrian traffic zone.

    it’s also right next to where a senseless and gruesome murder took place not long ago. the town’ll be talking about it for the next ten years, i’m sure. the offender was some homeless teenager who probably had mental issues the rest of us will never get the details of, but never mind that.

    so, not too long after, somebody graffiti’s a sign on the side of the place, reading “haunted house for sale”. (well, it’s empty, it’s been available for decades now, so i guess it’s for sale at least.) but that wasn’t the funny part — the other half of the graffiti depicted a little ghost holding up a counter-sign reading “not haunted”.

  • Art


    On several forums I participate in there are people who really believe that photographic ‘orbs’ are clear and indisputable evidence of spirits. He posed a photo of his back yard with a couple of orbs and claimed, based on the fact they were in the general area where he buried his dog, that they were a manifestation of the spirit of his dog.

    Oddly enough pretty much every location you might take a photograph with a camera with dust on the lens, or an out of focus bug flying by, has also some tie with death. I found it interesting that no matter the location there was always some immediately available explanation involving a spirit. Usually where they died or are buried.

  • Justin Griffith

    @Nomen #3 I’d love to post that story – if you can snap a picture. That’s genius.

    @Art #4 I’m just wondering if this person understands geological time scales. This person went beyond ‘just humans’ and now accepts dog ghosts too. If animals are on the table, and just one dead dog speckles a photograph… then we should be unable to snap a photograph of anything but orbs. The cumulative effect of ghost-orbs over billions of years would make even a single picture impossible.

    His hypothesis has testable implications. Cameras do, in fact, work. Therefore… no ghost dogs were detected.

  • sc_f4b905b1a48841bb6cae814d359c8b96

    If the dresser is indeed 48′ wide then that phone is even bigger that mine and that’s the most impressive thing about this ad.

  • sc_f4b905b1a48841bb6cae814d359c8b96

    and even more amazing is when posting from WordPress my log in is just as big as the dresser is purported to be.

  • Art

    You make a good point that if you only include all mid-size and larger animals, presumably insects and bacteria don’t have souls, and figure the numbers of dead over several billion years, every photo would be awash with orbs. Hadn’t thought of it that way.

    No, the gentleman with the dead dog didn’t evidence any understanding of geological time. His ability to perceive and operate within a reality oriented system was,IMO, limited. The way he framed it was that he was “spiritual”. Which, IMHO, is another way of saying gullible and not firmly grounded.

    I kind of assume that his ability to link every orb to an event or creature known by him is coincidence. Perhaps being so spiritual these mythical beings chose to manifest themselves on his camera as a favor. But, as your logic suggests, given the photos only have a small number of orbs, he is also being snubbed by a huge number of entities.

    I got annoyed at his gushing spirituality and dug up a web page that considered them from a scientific basis. It diagrammed how they show up and demonstrated how to produce them repeatably. Over a day or so his mention of orbs tapered off and disappeared. I doubt he changed his mind. Evidence requires a willingness to get difficult answers and he rather seemed to enjoy and to be comforted by the idea that that here was a vast, lush world of spirits out there. That there was a ‘ghost in the machine’ that was both inexplicable and which left open a chance of the miraculous and fanciful.

    I suspect he simply stopped mentioning orbs on that forum.

  • Justin Griffith

    When someone really really cares about something, it takes time for the accepted absurdity of one’s position to overwhelm the urge to defend it. The silent months may indeed be the baby step on his way to shedding that particular belief.

    I was that way with religion. Although my deeply-held creationist beliefs were instantly shattered for me, it was painful so I shelved all further theological questions for a few years.

    But even other shit popped up. My wife was on a ‘raw-feeding’ kick where you feed only raw meat to your pets. She kept saying it was beneficial because of evolution. I held back as long as I could, but a Tim Minchin ‘Storm’ was brewing.

    I asked her if she thought raw meat was good for humans. I asked her if she thought animals had ‘super stomachs’ that could kill the nasty ass bacteria that we both agreed were on raw meat. She said ‘yes’.

    The super-stomach myth took months of teary-eyed arguing (on her part) before she gradually accepted the absurdity and frankly the danger of her position.

    She had been seeking out expensive and obscure imported expert opinion. We spoke to several veterinarians along the way, each one initially biting their tongues. Surely they had lost several customers that were under similar impressions about the ‘benefits’ of raw-feeding. She had been sort of ‘coached’ by the raw-feeding literature to be skeptical of these vets, and to look for signs like ‘deals with companies like ScienceDiet and Purina’ (if they have samples, they are sell outs – cuz their schooling was likely partially funded in exchange for their endorsements… half-truths but not BAD stuff…)

    I could see ‘orbs’ leading to similar situations in otherwise reasonable people. Humans are weird, man.

  • “Humans are weird, man.”


  • F

    Where would I put a 48 foot wide dresser?

    For 50 bucks, I’d fucking move into the dresser. Even if it is haunted with a little dust.

  • Nomen Nescio

    sadly, the graffiti in question was already painted over by the real estate agency (i assume). all i have is a camera phone snapshot too fuzzy to make out the words.

  • waifu

    Umm…if the dresser is not haunted, then who shit on the floor and how do you explain all of the open drawers? Huh??

  • Justin Griffith

    I never noticed the shit on the floor. Obviously the ghost orbs wrecked the place until someone cleaned the poo.

  • macallan

    Misinterpreting camera artifacts as ghosts & goblins is depressingly common. Just google ‘flying rods’ for a mindnumbingly obvious example.

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  • Aquaria


    Fuck off spambot

    Misinterpreting camera artifacts as ghosts & goblins is depressingly common. Just google ‘flying rods’ for a mindnumbingly obvious example.

    Remember the flying Batman Space Ship from the late 80s/early 90s? All the crackpots were convinced that first contact was imminent, “everyone” was seeing the Batman spaceship when they were filming the sky!

    Turns out it was a flaw in cheap-ass portable video cameras where the focus went only so far before making the “bat” pattern. Several news programs pointed out the problem, and the furor vanished, overnight.

  • Aquaria

    Then again, there was that one conspiracy loon who thought rainbows in her water sprinkler were proof of toxic aerosols in the water supply.

    Morons are morons.