I get email: Texas is the reason

I am the recipient of electronic messages. Curtis is from Texas and he doesn’t ask for much.

All I ask is that you PLEASE watch these video’s.







-Curtis Jernigan

My reply:

Curtis Jernigan,

Hilarious. Thanks man! I needed a laugh. You’re pretty funny. You were right! The stupid ass shit featured in these videos will certainly help me convince more people to become atheists.

I like how your entire second sentence was entirely comprised of the word “Texas”. Please send me more!

Very Texasfully,

Justin Griffith

Military Director – American Atheists, Inc.


Texas. And here’s why:

This is actually what happens when you die:


Texas is the reason that this Christian band didn’t suck. (seriously)


This is how the universe actually works, Texas.



*UPDATE: Curtis replied to me with this ‘insightful’ message (below the fold)*

I tried. Remember (Texas) while you are burning in hell for eternity.

I have almost been to hell already, with the 101st AirBorne in Viet Nam.

-Curtis Jernigan

This is the cover art for the short lived Christian band (that really did make ‘art’ and not bullshit) Lift To Experience. They were from my stomping grounds – Dallas, Texas.


Besides the awesomeness of eccentric facial hair, if there’s anything you can take away from this post it’s this: Texas.

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  • Justin Griffith

    In before “Texas.”

  • James

    Texas: it’s a great place to be from.

  • Makoto

    Wow, he worked really hard. Send a few YouTube links, and if that doesn’t work, oh, well, burn in hell.

  • Rhoda

    I couldn’t make it through the first one – a Pat Robertson interview of an author about her experience in hell after a suicide attempt.

    Wouldn’t you know it, comments are moderated.

  • “I tried” That’s the mentality. He’s not sending you these links to convert you. He’s sending these links so that when you’re plummeting down to hell, he can point at his shiny halo and say “told-you-so!”

    It doesn’t matter than the material is sub-par.

    It’s enough that he can ‘shake the dust from his feet’ and move along, secure in the knowledge that he has done his duty and that you are without excuse.

    My response to lousy apologists like this is “Step up your game son. Your terrible arguments made me even less likely to believe. Your ineptitude is going to cause more people to go to hell, so unless you actually have something tangible to offer, stay away from atheists, as you’re just encouraging us”

  • left0ver1under

    If “o’clock” is a contraction of “of the clock” and “goodbye” is a contraction of “god be with ye”, does that mean “Texas” is a concatenation of “talks out of his ass”?

  • trog69

    Sounds legit. Pat Robertson is really, really famous, so that first vid was enough for my formerly non-believing ass. Wow, what a powerful message.

    “G’head, shoot yourself! Think about how cool it’ll be to see the look on your friend’s faces when you blow some of your bowels right out the back of your gut, all the while knowing that God was right there with you, Bondo, trowel, merthiolate, and bandages in hand!”

    Cold brewski not included. Presence of the Lord not guaranteed in all instances. Please consult your bible for explicit instructions on eligibility.( Old Testament considered valid for this occasion only.)

  • My name is Curtis Jernigan and I live in Texas USA. I can just barely operate a computer. I am 65 years old, a drafted Viet Nam Vet. I have never been happy (except when holding beautiful little girls in Viet Nam or anywhere else) until one week ago when I was delivered by the son (JESUS) of the only God there is. I have seen with my eyes more than once that this one GOD is real. Many, many Christians and preachers will go to hell. Yesterday I spent 4 hours writing to atheists and Buddhist all over the world. At one time I thought that there was no god. Do you really think that a big bang could have placed the earth, moon, and sun in the perfect locations for life to exist on our planet? Can you honestly look at a beautiful 3-4 year old girl, young lady, or woman and think they were created from a bang? If I do this until the day I die and stop only one soul from punishment in hell, 24/7, 50 times more that any one has ever received on earth, for eternity, it will be worth it. It took me 45 minutes to type this because I do so with two fingers.

  • danielq

    To Curtis

    Believe it or not, yes I can look at a child or a woman, and know that they weren’t the product of some archaic divine creator. Why, because if he was so intelligent in his design, then why is there a recreation area so close to a waste dump? Why do we breath through the same hole that we swallow, and tend to choke? And don’t ever think that a banana is a great argument for it either. Just because they fit so well in your hand doesn’t mean a thing, because they will also slip neatly up your ass as well.

    And don’t ever operate under the fallacy that the Earth and the Moon are in just the right place to sustain life, because that’s just so wrong. The Earth can be 14 million miles one way or the other and life would still exist on this planet. The habitable zone in our solar system is really huge. And the moon itself has nothing to do the existence of life on this planet, it’s just the byproduct of a planetary collision several billion years ago.

    And this planets proximity to the Sun is not a good indication of intelligent design either. I mean one of the worst days on this planet, was a gamma burst from our Sun. That just happened to wipe out over two thirds of all life on this planet in about ten seconds. If you really think about it, we’re a little too close to the Big Orange Ball.

    And if you think that going off your meds is the best way to get closer to god. Just remember why you were on them in the first place. Your own personal safety, and the safety of those around you. But then again I don’t think we have to worry, because you won’t remember this in a month anyway. But I did hear that early onset Alzheimer’s is supposed to really kick ass, so enjoy.

  • trog69

    Curtis Jernigan, I do not believe you. You were never a non-believer. You might have become much more deluded, but you’re just another Liar for Jesus.

  • Justin Griffith

    I agree… He shows way more familiarity with the subject than a ‘week old convert’. I don’t know why people lie like this, and do it so poorly.

    FYI – all little boys and girls are the result of a ‘bang’. The universe is fine-tuned for exterminating life (most matter is in black holes etc.).

    Despite all this, thank you for your service to the nation. Happy Memorial Day.

  • trog69

    “It took me 45 minutes to type this because I do so with 2 brain cells.” FTFY, Mr. Jernigan. Now it’s much more believable. Hey, and while you’re cooing over some 4yo Vietnamese girl, try not to let the thought of dozens of girls the same age dying in misery each day keep you from bloviating about your “Loving” god.