In the US, Christians will soon be publicly executed!

Someone claiming to be my mother just left a comment on a relatively old post.

Oh yes you poor atheists are so shunned and you never

Get your way. Baloney you get your way way too much

You get to complain about a cross in MY yard like it hurts you though I guess it does. You had prayer taken our of school. And if a kid brings a Bible to school to read in their quiet time it’s taken away and the kid punished. Oh! Now we see who is truly oppressed Christians are. And it’s getting worse everyday. Do you truly believe in religious freedom? If you do you should know us Christians are under orders from Christ to go and tell others the Gosple, and by asking us not to you infringe on our religious freedom AND freedom of speech. There will come a day when even in the US that Christians will be publicly exicuted. Hopefully you will remember this then. You are like a child that plugs up his ears to keep from being told the truth lalalalalalalalalala, so immature.

Here we see the ‘Help Help, I’m being repressed!’ angle being justified by a hypothetical future. An absurd hypothetical future. How can you claim repression if it hasn’t happened yet?

Help Help I'm being repressed!

At least the guy in this classic Monty Python scene was being moderately shaken for five seconds. That’s measurable repression, I suppose. It even makes a great photo-op. The peasant was undeniably repressed by his government. Laughably mild repression. ‘Yourmomma’ is absolutely sure about an upcoming slaughter of Christians. That does not count as repression at all, not even in the ridiculous Monty Python sense.

Legally speaking, I don’t have a problem with evangelical students converting their little hell-bound buddies (I did it until I reached age 13). If an evangelical adult can’t separate their religion from their profession, then they need to avoid government work. Telling people that your religion is ‘better than others’ or ‘the only truth’ is unacceptable in a pluralistic environment.

Shit Yourmomma says

‘our of school’ 

‘the Gosple’ 

‘exicuted’

Seriously… you need every bit of school time for, well, school. I’m not sure what he was talking about when he said kids get punished for reading a bible during their quiet time. Can somebody provide a link?

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About Justin Griffith
  • stoferb

    Poor christians, not allowed to pester everyone about their christianity during school or work (unless they work for a church). Oh how persecuted they are that they must learn the same stuff in school as everybody else, that they must devote time to the same jobs as everyone else, pay their bills, clean their houses and on and on with all these ungodly affairs when they should have the oppertunity to babble about the gospel 24/7.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=782440911 Lawrence

    “ I’m not sure what he was talking about when he said kids get punished for reading a bible during their quiet time. Can somebody provide a link?“

    I think you’d need a URL for that individual’s brain to work out what they’re talking about there. Unless they’re quoting some spurious story from World Nut Daily, or similar.

    • F

      Sorry, no deal, not to spec, non-compliant. There is nothing about this individual’s brain which is uniform, a resource, or can be located.

  • http://scaryduck.blogspot.com scaryduck

    “Exicuted” is capital punishment, only FUNNER

  • Onamission5

    If I had to hazzard a guess, I’d say that “in their quiet time” means “during biology class.”

  • Len Blakely

    “…if a kid brings a Bible to school to read in their quiet time it’s taken away and the kid punished.”

    [citation needed]

  • Randomfactor

    http://www.examiner.com/article/lawsuit-filed-after-student-s-suspension-for-reading-bible-to-classmates

    The school says there’s more to it than that, but they can’t say without violating his privacy.

  • Kit

    “You get to complain about a cross in MY yard…..” No, I don’t give a crap about what you have in your yard but I’ll bet you’re whining about some religious whacko who figured he didn’t need to follow his homeowner association rules because he loves Jesus.

  • Kit Walker

    I will be eternally proud of the time I convinced a girl to quit wearing her “I Prayed In School Today, Arrest Me” t-shirt to school.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sksfreund stevenfreund
  • Bruce Gorton

    Randomfactor

    If I remember correctly it turned out the kid was reading his bible to his classmates during classes when the teachers were trying to teach.

    I suspect there is a reason we haven’t heard any more about it since the suit got filed.

  • Mike de Fleuriot

    I always liked Austin Cline’s list of Christian Privilege.

    Christian Privileges for Holidays & Holy Days:

    * Many stores take the Christian sabbath into account

    * Most Christians don’t have to work on their holiest days

    * Christians can assume they will see TV specials and hear music related to their holidays

    * Christians can erect Christian holiday displays without fearing vandalism

    * Christians expect to be greeted with references to their holidays (Merry Christmas)

    * Christians can ignore and be ignorant of other religions’ holidays

    * School events will probably address Christian holidays

    Christian Privileges in American Culture:

    * When traveling, Christians can assume they’ll find churches of their denomination

    * It’s easy for Christians to find a religious site to marry

    * Christians easily find Christian movies, radio programs, and TV shows

    * When someone talks about or thanks God, Christians can assume it’s their god

    * Christians will find Bibles in their hotel rooms

    * Christians have many Christian charities to donate to or get assistance from

    * Christians needn’t worry about finding foods to meet religious dietary requirements

    Christian Privileges against Discrimination and Bigotry:

    * Christians can assume that they won’t be discriminated against because of their religion

    * Christians can assume that their opinion won’t be ignored because of their religion

    * Christians need not worry about moving to a place where Christians aren’t welcome

    * Christians rarely encounter groups that exclude Christians

    * Christians don’t worry about revealing their religion to parents, friends

    * Christians can discriminate in ways not otherwise allowed & avoid members of other religions

    Christian Privileges in Schools:

    * Christian children will see other Christians in lessons about history

    * Christian children will participate in events relating to Christian holy days

    * Christian children will find or easily start school clubs dedicated to Christianity

    * Christian athletes are encouraged by Christian coaches

    * Christian children might avoid being exposed to foreign religions

    * Public school space is often shared with Christian churches

    * Christians can easily find private schools that cater to their religion

    Christian Privilege, Fear, and Security:

    * Christians can wear Christian clothing or jewelry without fear

    * Christians can promote their religion on cars or houses without fear of vandalism

    * Christians don’t have to educate their kids about persecution for their own protection

    * Christians can ignore the language and customs of other religions without censure

    * Christians need not worry if their religion will hinder their professional ambitions

    * Christians don’t have to worry about hate groups dedicated to wiping out Christianity

    Christian Privileges in the Community:

    * Many communities have names with Christian origins

    * Christians can assume that most neighbors & coworkers are Christian

    * Christians have directories of Christian-owned businesses

    * Christian businesses can hire all Christians without trying

    * Christians can criticize Christianity & Christian Privilege with more authority than non-Christians and without their motives being questioned

    * Christians can assume that almost anywhere they go and anything they do, they’ll feel normal

    Christian Privileges with Christianity:

    * Christians aren’t expected to speak for all Christians or everyone in a denomination

    * Whatever Christians do, they need not worry that it will reflect poorly on Christianity

    * Christians easily shop for items related to Christianity, even in specialty Christian stores

    * Successful Christians aren’t told that they are greedy because of their religion

    * The word “Christian” is treated as a label representing the best human attributes

    Christian Privileges in the Law:

    * Where relevant, laws take the Christian sabbath (Sunday) into account

    * Laws & regulations come with built-in exemptions for Christians & Christian beliefs.

    * Christians can assume that most politicians are Christians who represent Christian interests

    * Christians can criticize the government or society without being labeled cultural outsiders

    * Christians can assume that politicians won’t attack their religion

    * Christians assume that government prayers will be Christian in nature (they usually are)

    • Justin Griffith

      Epic list is epic.

  • http://aceofsevens.wordpress.com Ace of Sevens

    When I was a kid back in 1987, they told us in Sunday School Christians were going to start being fed to the lions again any time now. They’d better hurry or they’ll run out of lions.

    • boxkikker

      Feeding xtians to lions would probably give the lions indigestion.

  • abusedbypenguins

    Really, they are going to execute christians on Pay-Per-View?!!!That would be the only way I would pay for cable. Popcorn and fried christians, could it get any better?

    • Artor

      I’ll buy THAT for a dollar!!!

  • F

    Jesus Christ, I hope so. Then we can stop hearing about how it is going to happen. It’s like those annoying TV spots six months in advance about how this fucking awesome show is going to premier, only it has been predicted/threatened/promised for far longer.

  • Chuck

    If, in the near future, Xians are going to be publicly executed, it will likely be by other Xians with whose interpretation of the gospel the accused don’t follow.

  • DaveL

    They’ve been executing Christians regularly for some time now. Mostly for the murder of other Christians. As I recall, the general sentiment of most Christians towards this was something along the lines of “BOO YAH! USA! USA!”

  • Brownian

    There will come a day when even in the US that Christians will be publicly exicuted.

    I’ve never heard of people so anxious to delay their professed inevitable admittance to eternal paradise.

    What makes them so eager to stay here on this shitty, unsaved earth? Is it the porn?

    I bet it’s the porn.

    • Justin Griffith

      Of course it’s the porn. What else could make Jesus come twice?

      • Brownian

        +1!

      • StevoR

        Qu. What’s white ‘n’fluffy and hangs from clouds?

        A. : The coming of the Lawd.

  • Synfandel

    I’m not sure what he was talking about when he said kids get punished for reading a bible during their quiet time. Can somebody provide a link?

    You would have to link to a space in that demented commenter’s mind.

  • anubisprime

    If they had a real functioning brain and not one crippled by atrophy and jeebus rot…they would be fucking dangerous!…

  • Seamus Ruah

    Just replace most of the words with ‘derp’ and it makes complete sense.

    /derp

  • justsomeguy

    “…you should know us Christians are under orders from Christ to go and tell others the Gosple, and by asking us not to you infringe on our religious freedom AND freedom of speech.”

    In other words: if you ask someone to voluntarily cease a behavior that annoys you, you are oppressing them. Good to know.

  • Alverant

    So she’s claiming that she’s the victim of oppression because she’s not allowed to oppress other people. I guess using that logic terrorism is legal because the terrorists are receiving commands from God or Allah or whatever.

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com shripathikamath

    I am suing for this blatant false advertising.

  • James Delts

    what a shower of bigots you are. Some here have even demanded they that christians be murdered here, so thats it, its ok just to murder someone because they have different beliefs and disagree with abortion, so you can be entertained. How the hell can you call for people to be killed? I thought you atheists where meant to be tolerant… If thats your view don’t be surprised if you get the same treatment back. Amazed you nuts all want to execute christians, just shows how infantile you all are, cant bear non-conformism.

    • Stacy

      Some here have even demanded they that christians be murdered here

      For fuck’s sake, those were jokes. Not demands for murder. Are you that irony-impaired?

      (Yes, of course you are.)

      Amazed you nuts all want to execute christians

      Actually, no, none of us do. But notice you’ve now turned two (2) obvious jokes (out of 24 comments) about giving Christians the martyrdom they love to fantasize about, into all atheists wanting to (really) execute “christians”.

      Are you “Yourmomma”? Whether or not you are, thanks for beautifully illustrating the persecution complex folks here are poking fun at.

      • Justin Griffith

        According to IP geolocation (mileage may vary) Yourmomma was from Georgia / South Carolina border, James Delts is from mid/northern UK.


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