Top 5 Christmas Songs By Atheists

guy plugging his ears at the awful christmas music

Not all Christmas music sucks. Here are some of my favorite Christmas songs written by or performed by atheists. What are your favorites?

In no particular order:

The VandalsHere I am Lord

It’s a cover an old hymn. This is the only song that they let the bass player sing on. I like his froggy voice, and that “happy birthday” breakdown is hilarious. It’s off their Christmas album, Oi to the World.

EelsEverything’s Gonna Be Cool This Christmas

BABY JESUS? BORN TO ROCK! He’s an atheist, he avoids the god shit. He’s got no kids, he avoids the santa shit. It’s just wishful thinking that for once, family will all get along, and shit will go right. Now featuring Doctor Who Xmas Specials.

John LennonHappy Xmas (War is Over)

I like this take on Christmas too. It’s more like a mark on a calendar, and you know a new year is close. My wife and I are actually going to do annual New Year’s presents for our daughter. It’s partially inspired by this song. No Santa needed to reflect on your year past and the one to come. Plus, she gets a new bike when the other kids do too, etc.

Flaming LipsSilent Night B/w Lord Can You Hear Me? (Spacemen 3)

Lord Can You Hear Me? is one of my favorite Spacemen 3 songs, and it fits in perfectly with the FLips rendition of Silent Night. Also worth checking out is their circa mid-90’s cut of ‘Little Drummer Boy;.

Cannibal the Musical! Let’s Build A Snowman

This is before South Park’s Trey and Matt got famous. Check out the extended version of the song. The first time he sang it, they hadn’t yet started eating each other. The only studio crazy enough to do a musical about starving people forced to eventually eat each other was the ever-campy Troma Studios. Troma, famous for Toxic Avenger, Tromeo and Juliet, and hundreds of low-budget films was also formally banned from Sundance film festival. They set up an annual ‘TromaDance’ festival just outside in response. Absurdity as a lifestyle, I suppose.

What are your favorites? 

Preferably ‘atheist’, but appreciation of Carol of the Bells via Trans Siberian Orchestra, and similar things are acceptable. Leave a link, embed, or whatever. I’m at work today, so it might sit in moderation for a few hours! I volunteered for 24 hour staff duty to let a Christian be home with their family in Georgia… I’ll be around for meals.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Vall

    Not exactly Christmas music, but when I read that Mike Scaccia died in my city the other day, there was only one thing I could do, was ding a ding dang, my dang along ling long.

  • Matt R

    Crudbump — “Fuck you if you don’t like Christmas.”

    I dunno if he’s atheist but it’s the best Christmas song you’ll ever hear that references Panama being an isthmus.


    • Justin Griffith

      Somebody suggested this on my facebook wall:

      David Bowie + Bing Crosby – Little Drummer Boy

      classic bizarro tv moment.

  • Avicenna

    It always does well during Christmas…

  • stever

    My favorite version of the Carol of the Bells is by Celtic Woman:

    The voices are lovely, but Mairead Nesbitt is simply amazing. Ever seen a beautiful blonde violinist dance with her instrument? Caution: Celtic Woman can be addictive. Some of their music is traditional Irish, some is pop, and while some is Christian, those voices make it so easy to suspend disbelief and just enjoy the music.

  • haitied

    Not sure about their religious beliefs but The Kinks’ song “Father Christmas” really captures the Holiday spirit for me. Nothing like a holiday mugging to put ppl into the giving mood.

  • Kelly

    White wine in the Sun – Tim Minchin

  • chrisho-stuart

    White Wine in the Sun, by Tim Minchin

  • chrisho-stuart

    Trying again; my previous post linked to Tim’s own website, but it was to an iTunes download plug and not the video! Here’s a youtube link for Tim performing “White Wine in the Sun”, my all time favourite atheist Christmas song. And check his other songs as well; he’s a singer songwriter comedian and his atheism is out and proud.

  • the great and powerful oz

    drinking white wine in the sun — tim minchin

  • Shea

    the kinks — Father Christmas. Surprised its not up yet. Are they atheists?

  • J. J. Ramsey

    I’m surprised that Tim Minchin’s “White Wine in the Sun” has yet to be mentioned:

    It’s a very sweet song, especially in its latter half.

  • J. J. Ramsey

    Me: “I’m surprised that Tim Minchin’s “White Wine in the Sun” has yet to be mentioned”

    Ok, that looks silly now, but at the time I posted, the other posts recommending “White Wine in the Sun” weren’t there yet. Oh, well.

  • Joedog

    How about a bit of love for George Hrab`s I don`t believe in Christmas


  • Gregory in Seattle

    A Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer. Not sure if he’s an atheist, but the song certainly sums up the modern meaning of Christmas.

  • chasstewart

    Damn, man, I had no idea that the actor who played Choda Boy in Orgazmo was in Cannibal the Musical as well!

  • Didaktylos

    The atheist Christmas Song is surely “I Believe in Father Christmas” by Greg Lake.

  • r2d3
  • Kevin

    I dunno if it’s written by an atheist of not. But it’s gotta be. Just gotta be.

    I want a hippopotamus for christmas.

  • Stacy

    I like the Lovecraft mythos songs from A Very Scary Solstice, by Andrew Leman. My favorite is It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen. (Will make sense if you’ve read The Shadow Over Innsmouth)