Where is the Rev Ian Paisley when you most need a good belly laugh?

Where is the Rev Ian Paisley when you most need a good belly laugh? January 10, 2010
The Rev Ian Paisley: 'No, no, NO - how could this happen to god-fearing Christians?'
The Rev Ian Paisley: 'No, no, NO! - how could this happen to god-fearing Christians?'
NOW is not a good time for the Rev Ian Paisley – and it’s hardly surprising that the 84-year-old founder of the evangelical Free Presbyterian church who masterminded the notorious Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign, is keeping his lips tightly zipped over the Iris Robinson affair.
Shame really, as we would dearly love to hear this fundie foghorn pronounce on the latest twist in tale: the elevation of Robinson’s ex-toyboy to the status of gay icon!
Oh, the irony of it all!
The Belfast Telegraph reveals that he UK’s best-selling gay magazine, Attitude, has asked the 21-year-old to pose for the cover of its next edition.
Attitude editor Matthew Todd said:

We would love to see him on the cover of Attitude. We think our readers would go wild for him.

McCambley has also attracted thousands of fans on Facebook, thanks to the Kirk McCambley Appreciation Society. Set up on Thursday, it already has more than 3,629 members. The group says it is:

Dedicated to Kirk Mc Cambley, the guy that knocked Iris Robinson off her perch and coincidentally knocked her up as well. Not only has he provided the gay community in Belfast ammunition to drill her to the wall, we will no longer have someone on the health committee that describes gay people as abhorrent!

While McCambley’s stock is rising, Iris Robinson’s has hit gutter-level … and is sinking still.

Today we learn that, in addition to moves being made to boot the rancid, hypocritical homophobe out of the Democratic Unionist Party – which was co-founded by the Rev Ian Paisley – more embarrassing questions have arisen concerning the £50,000 she raised to set McCambley up in the restaurant business.
According to this report, developer Fred Fraser, now deceased, and Co Down builder Ken Campbell, each provided £25,000 for Kirk McCambley, then aged 19, to start up the Lock Keeper’s Inn café in south Belfast while he was having his passionate affair with Robinson.
Kirk McCambley, now a gay icon
McCambley, now 21, claimed that Mrs Robinson had then asked him return £5,000 of the cash, which he did.
When his affair with Mrs Robinson began to break down, she then demanded that he return the outstanding £45,000. Of this, £20,000 was to go to Mrs Robinson and the remaining £25,000 to the Light ‘n’ Life Tabernacle in Dundonald.
But the Rev Pat Herron, the church pastor, said her chapel had never received a penny.
The money didn’t go to the church. We didn’t get any.
Meanwhile, the Free Presbyterian church, which is inextricably linked to the DUP, dealt a blow to Peter Robinson today when a senior minister and close confidant of Paisley, the Rev David McIlveen, called on the first minister to step down.

I do believe that his position is becoming increasingly untenable. He has a major problem with regard to solving his own family difficulties and I personally cannot take the view that a person’s private life does not affect their public life.

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  • Broga

    Oh my, what fun! That ranting bigot Paisley having to keep his mouth shut. He is the embodiment of Elmer Gantry in the book and Burt Lancaster’s magnificent portrayal in the film. Vanity seeps from the man and he loves to be called “Dr”. The “doctorate” being bestowed by the Bob Jones – anti Jew, anti gay, anti black, anti any religious but their cult – bigot factory (University in their dreams) in the USA. And the BBC indulge his “Dr” endlesslessly – the interviewer’s voice has a tone that respect does not reach, more like reverence.
    Paisley’s principles – or what passes for them – have bent to the wind of advantage. He said he would meet or sit with Martin Guinness until hell froze over – IRA terrorist etc.etc……….. Not much. He was soon very buddy buddy with McGuiness – who has about twice Paisley’s brains and three times his tactical nouce – and they were smiling working together.
    Don’t fundamentalist christians have any honour, principles or ethics?

  • MrGronk

    The worst of it is, the boy’s a CATTLICK! Truly this scarlet hussy’s depravity knows no bounds!

  • What? He’s a taig? Fucking brilliant!
    Iris doing her bit for inter-faith relations…
    “the guy that knocked Iris Robinson off her perch and coincidentally knocked her up as well.”
    As much as I’d love this to be true, I think that’s a mis-application of the bolded phrase. Imagine Iris getting an abortion. Hah!
    Thing that’s struck me is, no matter what Peter Robinson may think of his wife’s cuckolding, his religious views would prevent him from booting the old bag into touch. Imagine having to spend the rest of your life with someone you hate. Awwww… I almost feel sorry for him.

  • Ian

    Isn’t Paisley dead yet? If not, he surely can’t have long. Those teeth are criminal!

  • tony e

    If young McCambley has a bit of common sense he could milk this story
    to everyone’s favour. If he sells his story as a ‘kiss and tell’ he will make enough to clear the debt and at the same time raising the story to a public level that will force this vile woman from politics permanently.

  • barriejohn

    Stories have now surfaced of at least another three “lovers”.
    Iris, the Irish First Lady,
    Always liked to say Yes and not Maybe;
    She took lovers with glee,
    And said, “Have sex with me,
    But please do not tell Paul O’Grady!”

  • Broga

    Good luck to Kirk McCambley, that he is a Taig is the icing on the cake, and if the boot were on the other foot i.e. Iris and Pete were holding the cards, they would shaft him big time. There are said to be another two who have been screwing Iris but Kirk hold the centre spot for now. How much would some of the Sunday rags pay to persuade McCambley to say what passed bewteen him and Iris – verbal and corporeal?
    As for Paisley and his bigots – potential name for a folk group there – Paisley and the Bigots – they (the Bigots) are now gathering in Northern Ireland to “offer support for Robinson.” However, as a Northern Ireland reporter said, “The calculation is entirely personal and selfish – if Robinson threatens their election chances he will be gone before his feet touch the ground.”

  • barriejohn

    Rev Ian Paisley = ie Rave Sin Play
    (I need to get out more!)

  • Broga

    What would pass between Kirk and Iris?
    “My husband doesn’t understand me.”
    “This is great. At my age you don’t have to worry about the Pope’s views on contraception.”

  • valdemar

    Mr Fish? You already know Mr Barrell…

  • elainek123

    The song ‘Mrs,Robinson’ comes to mind.
    It seems religion must always have an excuse for indiscretions whereas it is against god to be gay. Logic and reason come to mind.
    Shouldnt we question the BBC when programmes like Songs of Praise are still on, and no alternative programmes for Atheists. One way system I believe.

  • Rozi

    She apparently said that he was ‘the son she would have liked to have been a mother to.’
    EEEEEWWWWW! Talk about a Jocasta complex! Being gay is an ‘abomination’ but sleeping with someone old enough to be your son and fantasising about him BEING your son is totally okay? WTF?!
    Seriously, Freud would have a field day.
    He’s pretty hot though. I wouldn’t kick him out of bed in the morning.

  • andrea

    ew! You do know where he’s been, right? They won’t even have used a condom. He could have picked up anything!

  • Normand

    Amazing when you look at Paisleys face and you see all this love and compassion radiating from his face. One can practically feel him reaching out in love and tenderness to everyone!! Seriously, why is this bigotted old fool whose face is all contorted by hatred and who goes around passing himself off as a man of God addressed as Reverend?? It’s like calling Ratzinger, whose face would scare kids at Halloween, holiness!!

  • Broga

    Paisley invented his own church, called himself reverend and became a Dr you would not want at your bedside. Apart from his ranting, raving, foaming at the mouth he is a hypocrite. Ready to work with his Roman Catholic “enemies” when public office, and oodles of public money – your taxes if you live in the UK – was available. Didn’t he try to pass his “legacy” – and the spoils that went with it – to his son?
    For the moment, perhaps for the first time, he isn’t spewing his bile over us – perhaps because Iris and |Pete share his views.

  • barriejohn

    Ian R K Paisley is a lying hypocrite of the first order. I have been unsuccessfully searching for a newspaper cutting I have in my possession somewhere, from the Daily Mirror I believe, back in pre-Sun days when even British tabloids carried out serious investigative journalism! It must have been in the 1960s, but I have always kept it as evidence of the sort of person we are dealing with here. Paisley met a journalist from the paper, had him blindfolded, took him to a secret location in the Irish countryside, and showed him hundreds of armed protestant paramilitaries on parade, telling him to relay the warning that he was able to call many thousands more like them onto the streets if concessions were made to the Catholics. This is the man who rants and raves that Gerry Adams and Martin McGuiness are, or were at one time, leading members of the IRA, whereas his holiness, by implication, would not dirty his hands by associating with those who use, or threaten to use, force to achieve their political aims! “You couldn’t make it up”!!

  • Chris

    IRIS: Peter, I think we should help fund this young man’s enterprise.
    PETER: Nah, Fuck’im!

  • DavidW

    I think a few things needs to be clarified here.
    Kirk McCambley is from the Protestant community and is not a Catholic as some of your writers have suggested – sure it spices the story up but let’s deal in facts!!!
    There are many like myself from the Christian community in Northern Ireland who have little time for the religious bigotry of the DUP and the Free Presbyterian Church – others like myself who have seen through Paisley from the very start and would agree with everything barriejohn wrote.
    Paisley, Robinson and Co are as much godfathers of terrorism as Adams, McGuinness and their Army Council. While P, R & Co may not have pulled triggers or planted bombs, both sides did stamp on people their own hallmarks of destruction, degradation and despair and many served time for acting out the fevered dreams of their political quartermasters. I personally don’t consider any of these folks mentioned as being followers of Jesus as they are seriously deluded, a negation of Christianity and an ugly cartoon version of the christian faith.

  • barriejohn

    When I was a member of the Plymouth Brethren I had many Irish friends who, like others in the Brethren, preached against any involvement whatsoever in politics. However, I was shocked to discover that over in Ireland many members of the sect (and they tend to be quite extreme in their beliefs there, where the movement is very strong) were voting for and supporting the Protestant parties in good conscience. When I expressed my puzzlement at this volte-face I was told: “This is different”!

  • DavidW

    In Ireland there are Open Brethren and Closed Brethren. The Open and Closed should (but doesn’t) refer to their mindset. The Open Brethren would probably vote as their conscience dictates, while the Closed choose to steer clear of politics.
    When the Good Friday Agreement was signed I was shocked to see a few Closed Brethren leaders I knew come out of the woodwork and put their name to an anti-Good Friday Agreement advertisement in the Belfast News Letter! I have a feeling they had their arms twisted by Paisley.

  • Broga

    DavidW Well, good for you. I would go along with the comments in your last couple of posts. My “religious life” such as it was began in the Presbyterian Church in Scotland and I never found much to complain about. In fact,many of those whom I knew in the Church – my faith was demolished when I was about 15 – seemed more like pantheists than anything else. I think someone – might have been Richard Dawkins or Carl Sagan – described pantheism as “sexed up atheism.”
    The Paisley Outfit, the Priests with their paedophilia or without it, Adams, McGuiness and Co and the repellent Robinsons and their whining apologists are beyond exculpation. As for Kirk McCambley, I don’t know what his faith is but I accepted what I read. If I got it wrong then thanks for putting me right to the extent that it matters.
    A buddy of mine in Northern Ireland phoned me a couple of days ago for a chat and he says McCambley’s father’s butchers shop is on the way to “becoming a tourist attraction.” He added, “as long as it is not becoming a shrine that’s OK with me. Next think they will be selling souvenir mugs of Kirk.”

  • Mark Castilano

    I thought that The Representation of the People Act was meant to represent all the people of whatever religion or persuasion. How can it be true that the DUP are allowed to be the political wing of two ultra right wing, fundamental, evangelical churches, many of whom are millionaires, including the Paisley and Robinson families. Iris Robinson’s activity is allegedly just the tip of the DUP’s widespread corruption that is about to be discovered.
    I was astounded to find out just how many MP’s MLA’s and counsellors in the DUP are members of the same church. Several DUP members are related to each other and are members of the same family like the Paisley’s and the Robinson’s.
    A majority of the DUP are members of the Orange Order that is renowned for its murderous hate of Catholics. How the hell can these closed minded people be allowed to behave like a 1920’s Tennessee community? These people are ignorant, greedy hillbillies.

  • DavidW

    Your words are very careless Mark.
    The DUP are not the political wing of anybody. Where did you get this garbage from? That’s like saying Sinn Fein are the political wing of the Roman Catholic church! It’s not. The DUP attract a sizable vote from both the churched and unchurched Protestant and is not dependent on fundamentalists. It is a mainly working class party that attracts a working class vote. Like all the political parties they have millionaires among their electorate but to say ‘many’ is a gross exaggeration. The evangelical vote you will find goes to the more moderate Unionist and Alliance parties and the millionaires you guess at are more than likely to be found in their midst. For example the richest part of NI, the ‘Gold Coast’ is Lady Sylvia Hermon’s seat.
    You speculate much with far too many unsubstantiated theories. Perhaps you would like to give your opinion on proven tax evasion, money laundering, cross border racketeering and criminality among Sinn Fein supporters in South Armagh too. And perhaps the odd death here and there.
    Were you equally astounded to find out how many Sinn Fein and SDLP MPs MLAs and Councillors go to the same chapel, are related to each other and have relatives working for them. Thought not.
    The majority of the DUP are not members of the Orange Order! The OO probably wish they were. The Independent Orange Order would probably claim some. The Orange Order should not renowned for its murderous hate of Catholics anymore than the GAA be renowned for its murderous hate of the British/Protestants. People who belong to the OO and GAA have carried out foul deeds but should not be held symptomatic of their respective organisations. Both organisations however have an unacceptable anti-element attached to them which should be condemned.
    This sound like a defence of the DUP. It’s not. I can’t stand them as I have already stated in previous post. But there are two sides to every story and closed minds and irrational thought processs are not the monopoly of one side of the community.
    Perhaps I’ll have opened your mind Mark to investigating Northern Ireland/Six Counties properly instead of depending on spin National Enquirer-like rubbish.