San Franscisco based Laura Turner, inset, is a writer who regularly contributes to Christianity Today. And, judging from her latest piece entitled ‘How to baptize your dog’, she’s barking mad.
Writing about her Yorkshire Terrier Winston, she said:
When Winston was five or six, the question of his eternal life laid heavy on my heart. Where do dogs go when they die? Is the film All Dogs Go to Heaven making a theological claim?
How would I survive in my large heavenly mansion without that dumb little guy barking at every angel that walked by? So, I decided to do what any rational Christian person would do: I baptized my dog.
Before you get angry and say that I forced him, guess what? I did no such thing! I respected Winston’s conscience and decision-making ability, so I set before him a napkin with an image on it that will be familiar to any long-time evangelical Christian: The Jesus Bridge.
She used the image above, but drew “Dog” on the one side and “God” on the other, saying “Nice symmetry, hmm?”
Next, I asked Winston to place his paw on the cross in the middle – symbolizing Jesus’ sacrificial love bridging the gap between Dog and God – if he accepted Jesus Christ as his personal lord and savior. Lo and behold, his paw moved to the center of the napkin and he looked up at me with large, penitent brown eyes! He was ready.
The final step was the baptism itself, which could be performed by no means other than complete immersion. Luckily, our pool was just the right size for a small dog to be reborn in. I held Winston above the water and he began to doggy paddle with his legs.
I said, ‘In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I baptize you! and dropped him in the water. He swam to the pool steps and jumped out, washed in the blood of the lamb.
Winston died six years later … It was one of the saddest days of my life. Who knows whether God really lets animals into heaven, but wouldn’t it be just like Him to give us the things in heaven that gave us such joy on earth? Hug your dog today.
I don’t know whether Turner realises it, but Winston could now be enjoying his afterlife as … a pair of shoes!
Yesterday, I discovered that The Meaningful Shoe Company, famous for its atheist shoes, offers a “Go Walkies Forever” service to dog owners who want to turn their deceased pooches into stylish footwear.