Christians, as a rule, don’t wear ridiculous garb. They leave that to their poncy spiritual leaders.
But devout Jesus junkies identify themselves by having a certain madness stamped on their features, a swivel-eyed, purse-lipped craziness that suggest someone’s poured treacle into a precision cyborg. I offer as an example the montage, above, of Stephen Green, of Christian Voice UK.
Another example: Andrea Minichiello Williams, of the Christian Legal Centre:
What got me thinking about signs of godliness was my arrival in Gibraltar for my marriage on Tuesday. The hotel into which we booked was awash with Spanish-speaking Jews of an orthodox stripe, made obvious by their full beards, big black hats and yamulkes on their young male offspring.
I imagined there was a Jewish wedding on the go, or a bar mitzvah, but when I began exploring the streets of Gibraltar, everywhere I looked I saw similarly-kitted orthodox families.
“What’s this all about?”, I wondered. The Jewish Telegraphic Agency provided the answer:
Jews have lived in Gibraltar since at least 1356. For more than 200 years, beginning with the expulsion of Jews from the Iberian peninsula in 1492, there was no Jewish life here. That changed in 1713 when Britain took control of the territory affectionately dubbed ‘Gib’ or ‘the rock’.
In the centuries since, Jews have occupied major political positions. In 2008-09, the largely ceremonial post of mayor was occupied by Solomon Levy. Still, some say the walls between Jew and non-Jew in Gibraltar have grown taller.
‘There’s Jews here that have absolutely no contact with non-Jews,’ Abergel said.’They won’t send them [their kids] to anything – swimming lessons, ballet, judo, etc, – if it’s not organised by the Jewish community.’Today, that community numbers around 700 of Gibraltar’s population of 30,000 but their visibility is astonishing.
My interaction with one of the community was limited to a brief exchange with one of the hotel guests on Saturday. He was mournfully waiting for a lift. He looked relieved when I arrived, and asked me in Spanish to push the button, explaining that he couldn’t do so because it was the sabbath.
I obliged, but not without rolling my eyes in disbelief that, in the 21st century, people can still manifest such insane behaviour.
My next thought was:
Why can’t we, the ungodly, have some sort of sign that marks us as as the only rational beings on the planet?
Pastafarians have an answer of sorts, but I’d look ridiculous wearing a colander.
A tattoo across my forehead saying “atheist”?
I don’t think so!
Over to you, dear readers, to suggest how the infidels, the apostates, the rationalists, the humanists and the rest of the plain sane population can tell the world there we’re here in growing numbers, and we’re extremely proud and relieved to be godless.