Instead, you have three hours (with ten minutes reading time) to complete the following, using a 2B pencil.
1) Which of the following questions is NOT a suitable caption for this photo?
A. I will steadfastly ignore you, unless you reach for the eraser, then I shall pounce on it.
B. You cannot has exam papers.
C. Food, or hairballs on your marking guide.
D. This is a helpful cat.
2) As tea-cosy is to teapot, cat is to ________________
B. The last working pen in the entire house.
C. The missing page of your answer sheet.
D. All of the above.
3) Which of the following is an example of the equivocation fallacy?
A. This booklet must be for me to sit on – it is symmetrical in design, and so is my fur.
B. I am bored of us once again discussing why I cannot sleep on this booklet and therefore we should put it to bed and let me sleep here.
C. You started grading papers, I appeared, therefore your grading papers causes cats.
D. Only men have to fear man-eating sharks.
4) If neither type of jazz is on sale then each of the following must be true EXCEPT:
B. New rap is not on sale.
C. Used rap is not on sale.
D. I can’t tell, there’s a cat asleep on the first part of the question.
5) The following video is an example of:
A. Australian expressionism.
D. What happens if you turn your back on your grading for one sodding minute.
EXTENDED ANSWER SECTION
Referencing AT LEAST ONE of the following schools of thought in your answer
Discuss why discovering a dead mouse next to your bed this evening, next to your new red shoes, IS or IS NOT a suitable act of contrition.
In the December 2011 issue of Vanity Fair, Michael Lewis profiles Nobel Prize–winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who pioneered research into “heuristics,” or the shortcuts humans use when making decisions. Take our quiz to see how your own mind works.