Sunday Morning Survey – What Does Your Psychic Reading Of Asparagus (Or Strawberries) Tell You?

Sunday Morning Survey – Because We’re Not Doing Anything Else On Sunday Mornings After All And I Did This On A Regular Basis Last Year So I’m Starting It Up Again And You Can Comment As Much As You Like Or Suggest Future Topics (With Or Without Vegetables).

This is the kind of thing that Milton Mermikides posts on Facebook, which has me thoughtfully looking at the vegetable bin while making the first cup of tea of the day:

A fortune teller who predicts the future using ASPARAGUS unveiled her top tips for 2012 – including two Royal births and British glory at the Olympics. Mystic Jemima Packington, 56, claims to be the world’s only Asparamancer and sees the future by tossing the spears into the air and interpreting how they land. She has made dozens of accurate predictions in recent years, including the demise of Gordon Brown, the credit crunch, and Oscar glory for British film The King’s Speech. Jemima has made her predictions for 2012 which include two Royal pregnancies, a change of leadership for one of the UK’s main political parties, the collapse of the Euro and the death of a high-profile British figure.

But I don’t have any asparagus. I also have a delicate stomach after staying home yesterday, unwell….

How about a bowl of strawberries for breakfast?

(This is my limited-edition The Rise Of Atheism coffee mug! With Irish Breakfast tea in it. I am envied.)

Right, now dice the strawberries and toss around the tops……and my psychic prediction is…

…that there’ll be a JREF educational guide on dowsing out very soon! Asparagus (and strawberries) not included.

Okay, I knew that already. Fine, I predict that YouTube commentators will have a field day (no punnet intended…) with this:


AstroFest Perth (Video From Previous Years)
Australia And Friday 13th – A Skeptical Viewpoint
Because, Ultimately, Everything Wrong Is Due To Atheists From Divorced Families
Unholy Trinity Melbourne Review (AKA From Up The Gods Without God)
About Kylie Sturgess

Kylie Sturgess is a Philosophy teacher, media and psychology student, blogger at Patheos and podcaster at Token Skeptic. She has conducted over a hundred interviews including artists, scientists, politicians and activists, worldwide.
She’s the author of the ‘Curiouser and Curiouser‘ column at the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry website and travels internationally lecturing on feminism, skepticism, and science.

  • Gordon Campbell

    The death of a high-profile British figure! As if that’s likely to happen in the next year. Of course, if it does, I’ll be convinced.

    • Kylie Sturgess

      It could mean anyone from a soapie or reality TV star to a Royal. How many Royals are out there?

  • ‘Tis Himself, OM

    I’m sure the English farmers, especially the asparagus magnates, will be glad to know that drought is not in their future.

    • Kylie Sturgess


  • Andrew

    I’m reminded of this every time I eat cauliflower, not that I eat it often.”Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” Mark Twain

    • Kylie Sturgess

      Yes, but does your cauliflower tell the future?! Mind, cauliflower does kind of scatter everywhere if you throw it.

  • CeePeeThreeOwe

    Since much of England is currently blanketed in several inches of the snow she couldn’t see……………

    • Kylie Sturgess

      This is why you’ll always find me doing my psychic readings in the kitchens at parties… actually, no. I have better things to do with my time!