Postie

I peek through door I sign box I say thanks I close door I drop mail on floor I go back to bed.

I open eyes.

I go back to mail.

I signed for:

wrong name
wrong street
even the wrong number

AGHHHHHHHHHHH

Pull on jeans over pyjamas grab keys bag envelope head to road – no postie.

Run to car start car go down street – no postie.

Drive round block – no postie.

Drive to the address on envelope that is not mine – no postie.

Knock on door, they’re not home and I’m holding their registered mail.

I should not just dump it in their postbox, that is wrong.

SEE POSTIE!

Runtocar dropkeyspursegoesflying – postie going down one way street?


Grab bagstuffkeys dive through window drivedrivedrive POSTIE PASSES dive into driveway, residents look at me in shock as I wave at them, in my pyjama top that is stuffed into jeans… reverse, back down road…

Where….?

Where’d postie go?

Postie?

Oh (#$&*)#*$&^#$

Drive to the official post centre where they do the official postie postie postouts with the bikes and the trucks and the post – and I show envelope with:

wrong name
wrong street
even the wrong number…

They look at my pyjamas stuffed under my jeans.

I show envelope and my license and they go “Oh… right, sorry.”

I go to car. Drivedrivedrive.

park.

bed.

Ding dong.

Postie is very sorry – but did she give me wrong envelope?

I’m not coming out of bed for the rest of the day, thank you very much.

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About Kylie Sturgess

Kylie Sturgess is a former Philosophy teacher, media and psychology student, blogger at Patheos and podcaster at Token Skeptic. She has conducted over a hundred interviews including artists, scientists, politicians and activists, worldwide. She regularly presents a news and current affairs show on RTRFM's The Mag (tune in on Tuesdays!).
She’s the author of the ‘Curiouser and Curiouser‘ column at the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry website and travels internationally lecturing on feminism, skepticism, and science. She files her nails while they drag the lake.


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