Little Kitten – Thank You, Hater!

To all the haters out there – and I mean that most sincerely.

By Clever Pie and Isabel Fay.


Well hello friend Mister Insightful
Thank you for your comment on my little Youtube clip!
Most people say you’re cruel and spiteful,
But you’re right, how do I sleep at night? I am a massive prick.

They call you hater well they’re just jealous
Your constructive pearls of wisdom give me thrills I can’t deny
How will we know if you don’t tell us
We could improve our Youtube channels by “fucking off and dying”?

Some might say you are a…
Sexually aggressive, racist, homophobe, misogynistic,
Cowardly, illitterate, waste of human skin,
Sexually aggressive, racist, homophobe, misogynistic,
Cowardly, iliterat, waste of human skin,
But I say: thank you beautiful stranger.

I love the way you don’t upload things
You know we’d be too dazzled by your cinematic vision
But you’re there on every comment string
Where you teach us, just like Jesus but while wanking like a gibbon.

I’m really sure that if I met you
You probably wouldn’t rape me like you promised that you would
We are like “that”; I really get you
You’re right about that laughing kid, he is a total “cnut”.

(Samba instrumental)

You wished me cancer and misspelled “cancer”
But I know that it’s a metaphor. You hope that I will grow,
Just like the tumour you hoped would kill me
Inside the tits on which you said you’d also like a go.

You said that girls shouldn’t do funny
But you’d fuck me double hard and let your mates go after you.
Oh what a line you lovely honey.
Are you on e-harmony? Oo! I’ll join the queue!

Some might say you’re a…
sexually aggressive, racist, homophobe, misogynistic,
cowardly, illitterate, waste of human skin,
sexually aggressive, racist, homophobe, misogynistic,
cowardly, iliterate, waste of human skin.

But if it wasn’t for you my darling,
I would never have written this tune.
Some might say that You’re So Vain,
But this song is all about you!

About Kylie Sturgess

Kylie Sturgess is a Philosophy teacher, media and psychology student, blogger at Patheos and podcaster at Token Skeptic. She has conducted over a hundred interviews including artists, scientists, politicians and activists, worldwide.
She’s the author of the ‘Curiouser and Curiouser‘ column at the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry website and travels internationally lecturing on feminism, skepticism, and science.

  • Will



    And a big F U to your haters too!

  • Ophelia Benson


  • Pingback: How will we know if you don’t tell us | Butterflies and Wheels

  • Paul Hunter

    Lets the haters know how important they really are

    • Kylie Sturgess

      AKA – “bet you think this song is about you, don’t you, don’t you…”

      (I always enjoyed that song too!)

      • Paul Hunter

        Just finish with a song!

  • F


  • Josh

    I love this so much it HURTS! This is how you deal with haters! :D

  • Fiona

    Keeping on file. I’m sure I’ll need it :)

  • harbo

    Filed, Locked and Loaded
    Thank you very much , I hope to discharge it soon.

    A long and much better version of the “grin like a demented fool” in the face off road rage.

    Someone should simplify the “wanking gibbon” into an ikon we can all use.