You probably haven’t noticed this little blog over here in the corner of Freethought Blogs before. I’m the blog that occasionally gets found via search terms like:
downfall of music
carrie fisher abnormal psychology
don’t make me count to three ginger plowman
please write my Handmaid’s Tale essay for me
why does margaret atwood use dystopia in the handmaid’s tale?
black spot feeding off our sun
I suspect the last two are related.
In the aftermath of Stephanie’s blog achieving a million hits on her birthday (and happy returns and all that), I think it’s time to change things.
I’ve noticed a doldrums around the network recently, with half the writers disappearing until 2013 and the rest posting football scores or something like that… to be honest, I’m not entirely certain whether that last link is about football or risotto. Perhaps it’s both. Certainly can’t make football any more comprehensible by combining the two, so perhaps that’s a good idea.
Therefore, I’m here to completely fill the days with blogposts, and promptly design a Brand New Branding Of Atheism With A New Brand Band, which’ll look like this:
…nah. If only things were that simple. Or simplistic. They never are.
I’ve had a pretty average day myself, mostly to do with hanging around an office waiting hopefully, with pen at the ready, for essays.
11:05am – Coo a hello at the front-desk, who inform me that despite spending ten minutes furiously disentangling myself from the coffee line over at Moo & Moo, that nobody was waiting impatiently for me to look over their essay draft.
11:11am - Lock myself out of the computers by typing my password incorrectly three times.
11: 20am – Regain password access; check email and discover that I’ve been asked the title of a book when the name is on the first page of the scanned chapter from the book.
11:24am – Look hopefully over at front door in the hope that essays will arrive. Ponder if maybe changing mind about Rupert Sheldrake’s claims about staring at things will somehow make essays appear.
11:28am – Begin building a shrine for essays and mapping out an esoteric religious ritual designed to herald the arrival of essays.
11:36am – Borrow some paper and map out the steps of The Dance Of Joy At Seeing A Essay Draft Dance using labanotation.
11:42am – Get asked by fellow worker what the hell I’m doing and they suggest playing University Challenge via YouTube with them to pass the time instead of engaging in heretical practices (i.e: wasting paper).
11:57am – Discover not only that I’m really terrible at University Challenge, but cannot recall any of William James’ works other than The Wings of The Dove. Ask if I should hand back my Literature degree. Consensus is no, because nobody else remembered the answer to “what is the ever-fixed mark / That looks on tempests and is never shaken?”.
12:00pm – Set up laptop for some editing. Begin toying with GarageBand.
12:15pm – Nearly fall off chair with excitement at the sight of person entering the office; turns out it’s a lost mother who wanted to hand in her son’s application for a completely different department. Escort her down the road in order to direct her to the correct building.
12:39pm – Find still intact fortune cookie left over from yesterday in bag while searching for laptop power cord.
12:55pm – Sadly dismantle shrine. Recycle paper with the dance steps notations. Type this. Go home.