What’s In My Bag (Rescued Lizard Edition)

Previous “What’s In My Bag” posts for your enjoyment – January and at the Global Atheist Convention.

Okay. Since about a dozen people have now gone “!!!!” on Twitter – here’s the story.

I’m heading to work and going via the Stock Road and this little fellow (not so little, maybe nearly as large as my forearm, admittedly) was firmly stomping their way towards the RSPCA Second Hand Goods Store. Maybe he had something to say about the sale of reptile skin bags and shoes, I don’t know.

Across four lanes of traffic.

Naturally, I think whether or not I can do anything SAFELY and realise that yes, it’s not THAT busy on the road – and I could park and then get it to the bushland area away from the traffic. I pull over and click on the hazard lights (which takes about a minute, they’re not easy to locate on the dash. Stupid really, they need to be found in emergency, so why not make them nice and clear?).

What can I use to pick it up?

I realise that my bag would be the right kind of scooping device and I empty about about a dozen pens, two handbooks, my grading, a purse, a calculator and a packet of nuts – I really should have left that last item in for the lizard, but never mind.

The problem with these kinds of lizards is that they can have a nasty bite (or at least, a strong one), so after shaking out bag onto the passenger seat, I check outside and make sure that there’s no oncoming traffic (just one narrow miss for both lizard and me)…

…and scoop. He didn’t even see me sneak up behind him. He was too busy snarling at the oncoming cars.

Ta da! And I quickly drive off, hazard lights flicking on before I figure out where the button is, and head to the bushland nearby.

THIS IS ONE ANGRY LIZARD, I don’t have to tell you. Hiss, moan, grumble, hiss.

But never mind. It’s now free, able to stomp merrily about without being hit by a car or collected by a native wildlife conservationist wielding a handbag.

And yes, my bag is thankfully lizard-pee free. I did check. Twice.

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About Kylie Sturgess

Kylie Sturgess is a Philosophy teacher, media and psychology student, blogger at Patheos and podcaster at Token Skeptic. She has conducted over a hundred interviews including artists, scientists, politicians and activists, worldwide.
She’s the author of the ‘Curiouser and Curiouser‘ column at the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry website and travels internationally lecturing on feminism, skepticism, and science.

  • marisawikramanayake

    Why are you so awesome?

    • Kylie Sturgess

      You mean the lizard? Dunno, something to do with the cute tail, I guess.

  • http://thecyberneticatheist.blogspot.com/ RW Ahrens

    Kudos! Nice rescue.

    Careful about those near misses, they can distract you from the one that gets you. It’s great to rescue an animal in danger, but I still think that the death of an attempted rescuer isn’t worth it.

    But you get two gold stars for being successful!

  • Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion

    Aww! I love those little guys. Such adorable things, and interesting for being monogamous and live-bearing.
    We have cool reptiles. :D

  • Katkinkate

    It’s very nice of you to rescue it from the traffic. I hope the lizard that owned the territory where you left your rescuee doesn’t give it too hard a time. It looks like a blue tongue lizard.

    • Kylie Sturgess

      I popped it back in the area it appeared to have come from – on the other side of the road in the bushland away from the industrial area. If it was hoping for snacks in the parking lot of the RSPCA, it may not have found competition but certainly would have found more cars!