Okay. Since about a dozen people have now gone “!!!!” on Twitter – here’s the story.
I’m heading to work and going via the Stock Road and this little fellow (not so little, maybe nearly as large as my forearm, admittedly) was firmly stomping their way towards the RSPCA Second Hand Goods Store. Maybe he had something to say about the sale of reptile skin bags and shoes, I don’t know.
Across four lanes of traffic.
Naturally, I think whether or not I can do anything SAFELY and realise that yes, it’s not THAT busy on the road – and I could park and then get it to the bushland area away from the traffic. I pull over and click on the hazard lights (which takes about a minute, they’re not easy to locate on the dash. Stupid really, they need to be found in emergency, so why not make them nice and clear?).
What can I use to pick it up?
I realise that my bag would be the right kind of scooping device and I empty about about a dozen pens, two handbooks, my grading, a purse, a calculator and a packet of nuts – I really should have left that last item in for the lizard, but never mind.
The problem with these kinds of lizards is that they can have a nasty bite (or at least, a strong one), so after shaking out bag onto the passenger seat, I check outside and make sure that there’s no oncoming traffic (just one narrow miss for both lizard and me)…
…and scoop. He didn’t even see me sneak up behind him. He was too busy snarling at the oncoming cars.
Ta da! And I quickly drive off, hazard lights flicking on before I figure out where the button is, and head to the bushland nearby.
But never mind. It’s now free, able to stomp merrily about without being hit by a car or collected by a native wildlife conservationist wielding a handbag.
And yes, my bag is thankfully lizard-pee free. I did check. Twice.