Don’t Go (Or Don’t Let Me, More Accurately) Into Bookstores With A Head Cold

Scene: The pharmacy next to the bookstore. Filled with senior citizens getting prescriptions filled, because it’s before 12pm on a Thursday.

Pharmacist – You may as well wait it out, dear, this is going to take ages. There’s seats out the front?

Me – ahrghars cheers whoo *sneeze* *sneeze*

All the seats are taken.

Senior Citizen One – We’re going to be here forever, ducks.

Me – Amama going to the bookstore and be back after bookstore, k’?

I stagger into bookstore next door and blink at the newly released rack and the sale table for about five minutes. My head is doing that turns-bef0re-the-eyes-move-and-then-the-eyes-follow-about-three-seconds-later thing.

Bookseller – Can I HELP you?

Me – …ugggggggg?

Bookseller – …Are you okay?

Me – Umm?

Bookseller – …Are you DRUNK??

Menoooo *backs into bookrack*

BooksellerCareful! *rights bookrack*

Me – I have a questions.


Me – …whhhhyyy… is Salman Rushdie’s book about Anoton thingie on the sale table for only ten dollars? Don’ty know it’s the story of everything he went through when he was being persecuted?

Bookseller – …what?

Me – And that book there, about blogging thing. Dr Brooke Magannantnti Belle Jour said that it’s all rubbish and I think you shouldn’t be doing the false advertising about making a lot of money from blogging because it’s rubbish.

Bookseller – Oh. Oh. Well, we don’t get to make those kinds of value…

Me – …and why *sneeze* *sneeze* do you have that anti-global warming book about being expelled from school because they don’t believe in global warming in the SCIENCE section, don’t you know that it’s rubbish too?

Bookseller – …I don’t get to make…

Me – I love Philosophy. You should have more o’the Philosophy section.

Bookseller – Really? Well, we were thinking…

Me – I have stuff to do for the Philosophy thing, it’ss actually even more interesting with hey I need a prescription.

Bookseller – Uh, what?

*senior citizen comes into the shop*

Me – …helloooo!

Senior – Hello ducks, they’re all finished with us now – go see if your order is done?

Me – Oh that’s awesome thanks I go get it now *sneeze* *leaves*

Senior – What’s all this about rubbish in the science section? I used to be an engineer young man, don’t you know you have a responsibility…

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