Transparenting 101 Lesson 3: The Letter You May Have to Write

There is a letter that most supportive transparents have to write in regard to their child at some point. Sometimes this letter is sent within mere weeks after the child has come out and other times, it is a year or more. This is the announcement of your child’s gender transition. Over a decade ago I was doing a research on a matter of local history. I found myself in the microfiche labs of the library downtown and a few… Read more

Transparenting 101 Lesson 2: Who to Tell About Your Kid and How

My son and some of his friends have been watching Transparenting 101 with great interest. The other day he and I were in the car together and I asked him where he thinks things should go next. We already covered reactions in the introduction. Lesson 1 covered pronouns and the importance of patience and poise. After some discussion, we felt it was important to cover who to tell and how. In my life I have lived in urban, rural, and suburban environments…. Read more

TransParenting 101: Lesson 1: Pronouns, Patience, and Poise

If you are new to this column, I’ve just started a new series called TransParenting 101. If you want to catch up, you can read the introduction. My son and I have been on this journey together for about 3 years now. I used to be a minister, but I got better. Anyway, if your child has recently come out, I hope this is helpful.  The first lesson I wish to address is pronoun usage, patience with yourself, and poise…. Read more

TransParenting 101: Introductions: So Your Kid Came Out?

When my ex wife was pregnant with our son, I read “What to Expect When Your Expecting”. Shortly after my son was born “What to Expect the First Year” was an invaluable resource. TransParenting 101 will be that guide if your child comes out. This is going to a basics of what to do and what to expect when your child comes out transgender. Over the last month and a half I have had 4 families who have either told… Read more

The Discussions We Don’t Have: The Seemingly Normal Day

One morning my son was over at my place. I made some waffles. This was the beginning of a seemingly normal day. Over breakfast he asked Giselle and I if it would be all right if he went to Six Flags with Ian and Jasper. I asked him what time he planned on being home. He said sometime between 9 and a 11 at night. I asked him who was driving, he said Ian’s mom is. I said sure, have fun,… Read more

Discussions We’re Not Having: Reasoned Conversation Vs Conflict

About a month ago, someone I know misgendered someone else I know. I was starting the correction of pronouns with conflict when my son stepped in and made a more reasoned correction. A few minutes later he looked at me and said, “Dad, sometimes we need you to be our bulldog, other times, conversation works.” I know this, I have always known this. Sometimes I try conversation and later find it is a trap. Other times I go for conflict… Read more

Discussions We’re Not Having Pt 1: Beyond Our Tribe Vs Theirs

I am a liberal, progressive Humanist. I used to be a conservative, evangelical Christian. The road to where I’m at is an interesting one. I’m not the only one who has been down this road. Some of us will see issues more objectively and others will not. When we lose our insight to tribalism, we are blind. It is okay to have a tribe and have your views shared with that tribe. There are some issues that go beyond tribalism and the… Read more

Hypocrisy of Progressive Celebrities and Shaming Victims

In the news we are seeing victims standing up for themselves. The #metoo hashtag has started something that I believe we are merely at the tip of the iceberg. What I’m about to share is not meant to compare sexual assault to getting stiffed, but it is to point out something important. How we respond to victims when the offender may be someone we admire. Victims are not our political pawns to take down opponents with. When we do this,… Read more

Trump’s Trans Military Ban Defeated (Again) and Thankful Things

  Trump’s Transgender military ban has faced a second federal challenge. For the second time, a federal judge has said the ban needs to stop. I’m thankful that this decision has been made…again. There are other things I am grateful for too. I’ll get to them in a little bit. Anyone who’s read this column for awhile knows that there have been some hardships my son has faced since coming out. There are some experiences that he has had that are… Read more

Pride and Fear: Your Kid Gets a Scholarship and Acceptance Letter

Over the last two weeks my son has received a sizable scholarship and an acceptance letter from the school he really wanted to go to. Now when I say sizable, I mean, the kind of scholarship that he will not have to be saddled with tens of thousands to six figures of student loans so many families in America face in this messed up system we are in. This is a huge opportunity for him and also a scary one for… Read more

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