How to Start a Cult

Hey, wait a minute, this sounds a lot like the major religions, too…

Can I please get a “CULT MEMBER” t-shirt? Because that would be totally awesome.

For Sale: Purity Ring, Slightly Used
Once you run out of ice giants ...
Romance at Mars Hill
Everybody's a Christian
  • LRA

    Lovebombing??? LMAO!!!

  • BrianA

    Cult: a small unpopular religion.
    Religion: a large popular cult.

    • Bender

      I would replace “small” by “young” and “large” by “old”.

      • DarkMatter

        What about replacing “religion” with “banana” after this?

    • misha

      people always say this, but it is so untrue. there is a HUGE difference between groups who apply powerful coercive techniques, demand unquestioning support for the leader, try to get you to sign over your house on your death bed etc.. and your average local church. anyone who has had to deal with a family member or relation slipping into the grasp of a cult knows this. that said, i think that the spiritual claims made by religions/cults have probably roughly the same standing. nada. but coercion is real.

  • Custador

    OMFSM!!!! Check out Gollum’s sister at 1:47!!!

  • Travis

    Dananananana LEADER!!!

    I’m pretty sure step one of starting a cult is to play that music on constant loop to people. this “Carey Burt” person is pretty clever to have hidden his cult message inside a how to video, thus assuring all the new “leaders” will be his followers, in a crazy pyramid scheme.

    Also why was the people’s money laminated? Is that part of being in a cult?

    • Andrew N.P.

      BATMAN! I mean, LEADER!

      • Fentwin

        10 pointss for the Homer reference. lol

  • Anthony David Jacque

    When the dude shoots the chick, that was obviously barbecue sauce.

    Now I want ribs.

  • Vaia

    I’ll second that t-shirt order, Daniel.

  • John C

    If you act now, the first 100 callers get my “how to start your won cult” handbook AND a shamwow towel for only $19.95! But wait, there’s more…there is a life! :) lol

  • Baconsbud

    I have to agree with it sounding no different then what many of the larger religions do. When the girl was having the pistol aimed at her head she looked like wasn’t into that much. LOL I might need to keep track of this, sounds like it could be fun to be a cult leader.

  • Temaskian

    Is this supposed to be funny? Strange… I don’t feel tickled at all. Instead, I feel a definite chill up my spine. It’s all so familiar, I got a kind of deja vu feeling, like everything in the video has happened before.

    • Garrett

      There must be something wrong with you.

      • Temaskian

        I knew it. :-)

        • blotonthelandscape

          I know exactly what you mean. I felt sick, thinking back to my own christian life and comparing some of the things they do in the vid to the things that I did.

          • Temaskian

            Glad there’s someone who also feels the same way.

            • DarkMatter

              Reminds me of my sickening past.

  • murrowcronkite

    I don’t want to step on anyones cage but this really reminds me of the Church of Scientology.
    I talked to one guy in a laundromat about Scientology 10 years ago, took one of his books and must have given him my address or something. I still receive weekly (sometimes twice weekly)
    junk mailings from good ol’ Ron L. and friends even though I’ve moved 3 times. Their mail budget could feed a small nation.

  • Hyderabad Pearls

    I love your website, seriously. I read it daily via my Greader

  • claidheamh mor

    When the video referred to running out of time, don’t blow your choice, I thought of est. And est again with the rigid schedule, and “all you need is 2 hours sleep”. Hahahahaha! What, no waterboarding? I know why! It’s the same pattern I’ve read that domestic abusers use: if you get too abusive, people will leave!

    When it said “form satellite groups”, and one said “we’re a drug rehabilitation center”, I thought of John C’s rehab center.

    When people joked about the “leader”, I remembered that “Führer” is German for “leader”.

    “Revert them to childish obedience”; “there must be something wrong with you”; “indoctrinate with fear” — christianity! Christianity! Christianity!

    Lifespring, est, LGATs, christianity, Nazism, a bit of US government, TM, L. Ron Hubbard, Rajneesh, aaauuuugh! Are you SURE there’s still a vacancy for God’s position? Looks like too many applicants to me!

    Excellent video. The “childish obedience” pacifier-sucking was a perfect touch!

  • nikita

    “We love the leader the leader is love. When I’m not with him I feel like a schlub.”

    I’m going to be singing that for days.