The Right Stuff: Dr. Patrick Johnston

by Lorette C. Luzajic
Part 13 of the
Pillars of Faith series

Righter than the Right

It’s beyond comprehension that the opponents of contraception and abortion are the same ones who think it’s communist to care for the underprivileged or unwanted. It’s also a great mystery that these greedy, gun-toting creeps name themselves for a mostly-peacenik hippie who cared about the sick and poor. And though this irony is sadly commonplace, there is one man so right-winged that he makes Jerry Falwell look like a leftie.

Ohio’s Dr. Patrick Johnston thinks he’s the “Right Remedy” for the world’s ills. That’s the name of his website and radio show. He is the founder of the Association of Pro-life Physicians, the Coalition for Justice for All Ohioans, and the Alliance to Reform Education Funding. He also ran for state representative and he teaches political science.

It’s the same old-same old: women, like his wife who mothers eight children, are baby-making machines. “All Ohioans” refers to all unborn ones, but not the poor ones, the unwanted ones, the sick ones, or the gay ones. Reform Ed means indoctrinating kids at home without science and history that contradicts the Word getting in the way. “The public schools are offering our kids waaaaaaaay too many things that we do not want them to offer… like condoms, evolution, the immoral company of other bad children, and tolerance and diversity training,” Johnston says. Diversity means, of course, idolaters. “Casting aspersions upon the true God by bringing idols up to his level” is not something the tots should be learning.

Not Enough White Right Christians!

Pullquote: Every invader should be treated as an enemy of the state.
Dr. Patrick Johnston

Doc laments that Obama is an “Uncle Tom” who perpetuates slavery and extinction with his conspiracy to murder little black babies. And yet in “The Last American Minority” he whines: “In the last presidential election, the leading contenders were a woman, an African American, and a Mormon.” We all “sympathize with the weak and helpless” and that’s why “Caucasians are upset about the injustice of racist quotas that penalize” them. “I’m a right-wing anti-choice homophobic extremist mutt who is mostly Irish but 1/16th Cherokee. Can I get put on the minority list?”

The only weak that deserve our concern are fetal — and yet even the birth control pill is murder, and Johnston won’t prescribe it. He also thinks, “The morning-after pill is a reckless disregard for human life … it should be banned as should all other forms of chemical and surgical child-killing.” But what will become of all those little bundles of joy? After all, the state should stop placing children in foster homes with singles or unmarried couples — yet there’s already a dire shortage of homes for the needy kids so lucky to have escaped mama’s contraception.

And of course, crime is not caused by the poverty of love and resource, but by immigrants. “Every invader should be treated as an enemy of the state,” Doc says. But who will clean his office toilets or work for the paltry wages that fuel production and service in this great land? Johnston opposes raising minimum wages, as all paychecks will have to go up an inch closer to living wages. That would mean the business owner would have to take “a cut in his own pay.” The Bible commands “workers to ‘be content with your wages.’ Coveting wealth that God hasn’t given you is…idolatry.”

I doubt that poorly paid slave laborers are coveting wealth — they’d just like to feed the six kids they had while heroically refusing birth control. But greedy servants aren’t the only barriers to the limitless abundance this life-loving man deserves: “Prepare for economy-choking regulations of America’s businesses in trying to fend off ‘global warming.’”

They Shall Be Put to Death

Pullquote: Johnston says God “lovingly outlawed homosexuality in His criminal justice system.”

But as usual — sigh — the most reviled target of this man’s hate is The Homosexual. God “lovingly outlawed homosexuality in His criminal justice system. Have you ever noticed that Saudi Arabia doesn’t have an ‘AIDS crisis?’” Well, they don’t have a cancer or diabetes crisis either, so should we put sugar eaters to death? Smokers? Johnston points out that Dahmer and a bunch of other serial killers were homos. He conveniently leaves out that the rest of them — the majority — were not.

And Doc abhors gun control even more than homos. “My office will not be a ‘gun-free zone,’ he says. And neither should your nurseries: “Don’t despair. Keep faith in God, stand for the right, do justly, pray hard, take names, buy guns for Christmas and teach your children to shoot them well.”

Lorette C. Luzajic writes about all kinds of interesting people at Fascinating People.

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