by VorJack
I once worked with a fundamentalist who wanted to tell me all about how bad he used to be. He told me about his former friends who were into the occult and about the time they all formed a satanic heavy metal band. It finally tripped my BS detector when he couldn’t name a band heavier than Motley Crue.
I once had a friend who dragged me to a storefront church where the preacher told us all about the horrible person he used to be. It seems he was once a bartender who was selling drugs and dating a satanist. The story culminated in a drive-by shooting that killed the two men standing next to him, but left him alive. For some reason this meant that God had saved him, rather than meaning that God had it out for the other two guys.
Then there was one guy who talked about how he spent all of his teenage years in a friend’s basement playing role-playing games and eating cheetos. By the time he got to college, he couldn’t hold a conversation with a girl that didn’t involve lead miniatures.
… wait, that last one was my story. Sorry, must have gotten my notes jumbled.
It does raise a question, though. My background isn’t so different from those other two guys. We were all middle-class white guys growing up in a religious part of America. Were these things really going on in my neighborhood? Why was I never invited to an occult sex party?
I tend to think that the answer is because those other two were pulling a Mike Warnke: they were making it all up, or at least exaggerating things to the point of absurdity.
These kinds of “witnessing tales” are a sub-genre of Evangelical stories. The purpose of witnessing is to bear witness to the difference that Christ has made in your life. To make that clear, you need a good story about how bad you used to be before you renounced you old ways and turned to Jesus. And the worse you were, the better the story.
They’re not new. In the 19th century, itinerant Evangelical preachers held tent revivals to bring the Good News to people in rural areas. Many brought a supposed ex-drunkard with them to tell the sob story of how bad their lives used to be before the found God and sobered up. Mark Twain has a wonderful scene in Huckleberry Finn where a conman plays this role and tells a heart-wrenching story, so that he can be the one to pass around the hat and skim the offering.
Now, I’m a southerner, so I appreciate spinning a good yarn just for the sake of the story. I figure that a lot of you probably have heard a witnessing story that you’d like to share. Or maybe you’ve got some stories of the horrible things you did before you became an atheist that are all really true. Really.
So let’s hear them. But remember, if you were a part of an occult sex party: pics or it didn’t happen.
Twice I’ve tried to post this up. It just keeps cutting off.
Here’s a summary of what I wrote initially:
Around sometime in the mid-1800s, my Great-Grandfather was born to a White Swiss-German Aristocrat and an ex-mulatto slave on the Caribbean island of Grenada. It was a big scandal on the island at the time but his father didn’t really give a damn. My Great Grandfather’s father was a wealthy man and couldn’t give much a rat’s arse what his family back in Germany thought. He changed his name slightly and continued on his way. He went in the history books for that particular island as he gave a lot of money to ex-slaves and their kids. He was loved by many apparently. His son however, wasn’t!
His son, Ino, was pile of shit apparently. He was a vice ridden heathen who loved his women, drink and Satanism. Yes, he was a ‘Satanist’. While it is true that he did probably at one point practice some form of the occult, the other claims get stranger. He could contact the dead, be in two places at once and curse people. He learnt this from a Book of Spells (they were common in the East Caribbean back then!) which he prohibited anyone from reading it lest they perish from the total ‘evilness’ of the book.
To make a long story short, his wife read it and promptly died. Ino renounced his ways, remarried this Black woman and became a born again Catholic. He returned to his island of birth and started preaching and performing miracles on the island. And that’s that! A great Christian!
Oh, and he beat his children excessively in the name of God. Tortured them more like it. And he only educated two of his children. Even though he had the means to educate them all, but that’s probably because he was such a great Christian he had to…uh…make his uneducated children more Christian by not educating them? Oh and he still continued to practice his occult, although albeit with God’s consent.
Delightful! I’m descended from a French whore who was transported to New Orleans from La Salpetriere prison. Ann Rice, please come to your senses and combine these stories into something fun!
Sarcasm. :-(
Who’s being sarcastic? Why wouldn’t our family histories make a ripping yarn? The past should entertain as well as educate us.
As long as it resembles Wu Tang Clan’s “Gravel Pit” music video then I’m happy.
Okay, that was a pretty long summary. I apologise for rambling.
I ran into a guy I knew in high school and he told me that he practiced everything in H.P. Lovecraft’s Necronomicon and it all came true, he said he was about to take the final step, forgive me for not digging it up to find out what that was, when he turned back and gave his life to Jesus. Of course, he was now a spiritual warfare guy who believed demons and angels were all around us battling for our souls. He freaked my fundy butt out and I never spoke to him again. That was some 17 or so years ago.
May not be too far off, the final step I believe is madness
Is there a way to do a nerd rimshot? Maybe the Ewok at the end of ROTJ could do it justice with his storm trooper percussion collection.
The final step is usually death. Madness comes before that one.
I got over my drug addictions after I let go of God. Take that crazy preachers!
I am right there with you Andy. I gave up a coke addiction and a serious alcohol problem without any sort of religion.
Hmmm…. my worst addiction was being southern baptist. My parents, who had an interesting sense of humor, sent my brother and I to an all boy catholic military school. This cured both of us from religion. My sister, who went to public school, remains religious.
pics or it didn’t happen.
Sorry, pics don’t mean anything any more in the age of PhotoShop.
Yeah, but let’s at least try to judge them…
no, you need video, much harder to fake.
I think they tell these sorts of stories because it titillates them. Since their sex lives and recreational activities are so terribly repressed and retarded, they need some way to describe their fantasies without sounding like they still want to engage in them (which they do…desperately). The exaggeration part is just par for the course. If you believe and spread one huge set of lies, what’s a few more lies on top?
I’ve always thought the B-movie monster-of-the-week caricature of Satanism that fundies hold was quite silly. So do actual Satanists. It’s obvious that most of the dunderheads who ramble on about Satanism know nothing about it, have never read about it or studied it, and have never met or talked to anyone who practices it.
Ask them to show the obituary for the murdered guys?
Yeah, lying for jebus seems to be pretty popular in all ways…
If you don’t know any better because of a religious upbringing that shelter you from life then it’s easy to confuse having a beer and looking at an issue of playboy when your parents are out with drunk drug fueled orgies.
I am currently a 27 yr old electrical engineer, I live with my fiance (in sin!), I consider myself a “good” person but not a particularly nice guy (imo, they are very different things). But it has not always been this way….
When in high school, my friends were drug dealers. That doesn’t mean I knew a guy who sold some drugs. It means I was in the car with them when they went into the shady distributors house to buy 2 ounces of weed and rode around with them until 4am trying to sell it by the quarter ounce. This is a terrifying business because you meet the type of people you wish didn’t exist and you are always afraid they will shoot you rather than pay you. Did I deal drugs? No, I didn’t. I was a poor kid and didn’t have the upfront money to fund the operation, but my friends did and I was often the recipient of free things they simply didn’t want anymore because they could buy/steal new ones (jeans/clothes/shoes, golf clubs, etc…). Needless to say, I ran around with the “wrong crowd”.
I was an adrenaline junky in high school and never hesistated to do anything that sounded exciting. I nearly died jumping off of a bridge into a creek. I attempted a front flip off of a 40′ bridge into a creek and was knocked unconscious by the impact of my head on the water. I managed to wake up disoriented underwater and luckily managed to float to safety.
How did I “make it out the hood”? Simple. I knew they were morons. I was just a kid having a good time and pushing the envelope a little too much at times but I managed to stay out of any serious trouble, did well enough in high school to get into an engineering program, and the rest is history.
It’s a funny thing about how fundamentalists view their own personal histories, and those of others. I’ve known a guy who railed on about how “getting to know Jesus” helped him get over drug addiction and other problems. If he was truly in as bad shape then as he claims, then his turnaround is remarkable, and I give him credit for what he’s done.
But this is the same guy who dismissed my own views, saying they’re the result of a “bad experience” with other religious folks, and in any event, I could not actually have been a “‘Real’ Christian.”
He is, effectively, contradicting himself. He claims his own personal background grants his religion veracity. But he also says my own personal background says nothing about his religion’s veracity.
Really, it’s just cherry-picking. I know that, and I told him that. (That only made him angry, but too bad … he brought it up.)
I remember having testimony envy. My Sunday school teacher use to tell the most exciting stories about his tour in Vietnam, about friends dying in his arms, firefights at night, how friendly the local women were, ect …
And then he would ask for testimonies from his students, most were the same “When I was four years old, some authority figure lead me to the lord.”
Some of us regretted getting saved at an early age. We missed out on having an exciting life full of sex, drugs, and rock & rock, and then later in life of having an exciting testimony to tell our children.
There is a Christian radio show about exciting (and probably fabricated) conversion stories. Here is a good way to hear a conversion story without having to step inside a church.
http://www.unshackled.org/
Real people…real life stories…stirring, dramatic accounts of hopelessness, and the hope that changes everything. “UNSHACKLED!” the award-winning radio drama from Pacific Garden Mission in Chicago, grips the heart with compelling and relevant stories of transformed lives.Without Jesus Christ, we are all shackled by sin — by our wrong choices, disobedience and selfish motives. But God is at work, and the power of Christ sets us free of our bondage. We are… “UNSHACKLED!”Since 1950, Pacific Garden Mission has produced this unique series, making “UNSHACKLED!” the longest-running radio drama in history. Still produced in the style of the “Golden Age” of radio, every element is live at the time of the production — the original music, the creative sound effects and, of course, the dynamic performances of talented professional actors.
Today “UNSHACKLED!” is broadcast around the world over 7,000 times each week on over 1,800 radio outlets. In addition to the English broadcast, it is translated and re-dramatized in Spanish, Arabic, Russian, Romanian Polish, Korean and Japanese.
The best part about that show is the old school Soap Opera incidental music. It makes the drama seem just THAT much more contrived. I live in Milwaukee and the local Fundie Christian Radio station used to play that and dramatized versions of the Sugar Creek Gang books in the afternoon.
Let’s see, a conversion story…
Well, I was raised in a Pentecostal church, by parents who really believe all the WND/teabagger crap even though they live in Canada and have personally benefited from our slightly better social safety net.
I used to be a dedicated non-drinker, non-smoker who never actually got laid before getting married. I smugly resisted changes to our laws to allow stored to open on Sundays! How horrible and degenerate can you get?
The problem was that I was miserable, and it was obvious to me for some time that my belief system simply didn’t correspond with the way the world actually works. So I finally stopped going to church, thought through the assumptions underlying just about everything I believed, and decided that it was all a load of crap.
Now I am reasonably happy and well adjusted and I don’t waste my time trying to placate some homicidal desert deity.
I suppose if I wanted to follow the Christian tradition I could dress this up a bit by claiming to be an abortion clinic bomber or something. The truth is, I was mostly just deluded and smug. As soon as I was out of the corrosive influence of my family it all vanished like so much smoke and mirrors.
Augustine’s “Confessions,” anyone?
I… I…
I STOLE PEACHES!!!
Yes, it’s all true! I had friends who were into the OCCULT. They even had a OUIJA board and played DUNGEONS & DRAGONS! Not only that, but several times I went to see SATANIC heavy METAL bands! I was even in my own horrible ROCK’N'ROLL band! (wait, I still am…) I was often surrounded by people who were using DRUGS! (well, pot anyway…) I even made BLASPHEMOUS art in my art class!
Um, now that I think about it, these are completely ordinary experiences aren’t they? But hey, with just a little spin it starts to sound like a life of sin!
I have to agree that most of the so called conversion stories are simply tweaked to make them better.
Conversion stories from some tend to be so outrageous it’s laughable … for some reason it seems to be unrealistic to these people that a simple truth is more believable and more effective. My response to those “I was the worst person in the world” tale tellers? Thinking you’re the worst person in the world is no different than thinking you’re the best – it’s giving yourself a place in the universe you haven’t earned.
Religion, and especially our beloved abrhamic religions, is largely about identity.
Certainly none of them can top the Apostle Paul. He helped hunt down and murder Christians! Maybe they are trying to compete.
I spent most weekends of my teenaged years stoned, drunk and/or high and yet still got through school with good grades. Then I went to university (where I became a theist), then I held down government jobs for eight years (about a year into which I became an atheist again), rising high and fast, then I came back to university.
So, since we’re cherry picking: Drugs and atheism help you to be an achiever!
I’ve always wondered about the conversion stories. I have two friends who had their lives turned around by christ. I never knew them before, so I just have to take their word for it.
My life was pretty boring in comparison. As soon as I knew what drugs and alcohol were, my parents told me that if I wanted to experiment to please do it at home. Well, hell, that was boring. I never even had a beer until I was 18. They also taught me to solve my problems with logic and reason, so I’ve never been in a fist fight in my life.
I did spend my time in the basement with the D&D and Cheetos, so loosing my virginity and getting that first beer have very close anniversary dates. If you were a D&D nut, you have to see this SMBC strip
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=672#comic
LOL’d at the comic.
I once cheated on a bf and got drunk once in a while.
I also slept with women.
Thing is.. i would still sleep with a woman.. I’m bi-sexual after all :)
I seriously had to think there.. this is really the worst, most evil thing i could think of i ever did..
Wow!
I’ve slept with someone other than your boyfriend and I sleep with women too! It’s like we are twins!
*grin*
I used to be an angry little child of fundie parents. This lead to me getting in a lot of fights. I mean, a LOT of fights. Like, by the time I’d graduated high school, probably over a hundred. My face bears many scars from this period. I was stabbed once during a fight. My nose has been broken several times. I sent more than one person to the hospital.
But once I stopped being religious, I never got in a fight again.
Clearly, it’s Jesus fault I was such a hooligan. Praise be to lack-of-lord for leading me from my violent ways to a life of peace.
Oh wow, Jesus fault? You take no responsibility for your on actions? How about this? Maybe you had no respect for your parents and their authority and because of that “was such a hooligan”. Jesus had nothing to do with it.
The III
Lol – I’d bet dollars to pesos that if he’d cleared up his behaviour after turning to Jesus you’d crow about how Jeeeeeeeebus healed his spirit.
Why is it that Christians don’t get irony?
It’s like the Fundie’s defining characteristic. It would be interesting to figure out of that was just correlation, or there was some causative factor there.
Oh, great. Moron Numeral is infesting another thread.
Geez, I never want to go to an occult sex party or take part in Satanic rituals. If anything, those seem guaranteed to turn you into a Christian — everyone I’ve ever heard of who went to one can’t shut up about converting afterward!
Man, before I became a Christian, I was dirty little preschooler who didn’t like sharing my toys and occasionally did things so bad that my mom would spank me! Then god turned my life around! Hallelujah!
I used to smoke pot before “I gave my life to JEEEEESUS”. I also liked porn. I quit smoking pot and used to credit that to God, now I give myself credit. I still like me’s some porn though. It’s this atheism I tell you!
Why would you consider smoking cannabis to be ‘bad’? It has always been used to spur creative insights in me and helped in reflections of my understanding, so I don’t understand how someone would think that quitting would be an admirable accomplishment…
Because cannabis is psychologically addictive and it’s an admirable thing to realise that you are dependent upon something and then choose to forgoe it. I did the same thing, first with hard drugs, then with cannabis and then with cigarettes. Ultimately I resented that foreign chemical substances were dictating my behaviours and actions. The evidence that cannabis is far more of a contributor to lung cancer than tobacco is, and that it leads to early onset dementia, is mounting up pretty fast, too. I say these things in full acknowledgement that I took a hell of a lot of it as a teenager and I had a great time. Ultimately, though, that was a part of my youth. It’s pretty normal to grow out of it.
Any substance can be psychologically addicting. French fries can, for example. If some substance becomes an obsession and disrupts your otherwise normal life, then yes, I’d agree that forgoing that substance would be beneficial.
I am taken aback by your comments that the substance poses any mental or respiratory cancer risk. The exact opposite has been determined by the scientific field (do you not research?). Here is a link that you may consider: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/04/070417193338.htm
There are many studies available that show that cannabis’ active ingredient, delta 9 tetrahydrocannabinol, destroys cancerous tissues. In fact, a research facility in California is trying to make cancer-fighting medicine with it (and no, this is not about cannabis use offsetting radiation sickness).
In addition, cannabis use, even long term use, does not permanently impair one’s cognitive functions permanently. The evidence is there, so please, if you make an assertion, at least have some knowledge about it.
Listening to uninformed politicians on the dangers of cannabis use without critical thought and inquiry is akin to credulously listening to a pastor preach about the dangers of hell. Delving into skepticism and inquiry is one of the first steps towards having a rational opinion.
Thank you David, I was gonna post a rebuttal to custador’s idiocy, but you got to it first.
*offers pipe*
I second WMDKitty’s thanks. To keep a long story short, I didn’t try pot until late last year, just after my 27th birthday. I have always refused to smoke, but a friend (with a medical marijuana card) finally brought me some lozenges so that I might have some relief from the near constant nausea and pain that I suffer from. Before that, I would go days without meaningful sleep because I felt too sick to lay down. I would miss out on being with friends because I was in too much pain to move from the couch.
It’s not a cure, but it certainly makes my life tolerable until I find a doctor who can diagnose me (I have seen 8 so far). I won’t deny that it’s not fun, and that I don’t sometimes take a little more than I need, but there is no denying the benefits that it provides me and others who suffer (many worse than I).
*passes pipe – pops lozenge, turns on Carl Sagan’s Cosmos and waits for magical fairytale sleep*
One of the best things to do whilst high is to enjoy the Cosmos series! Totally agree with you!
Carl Sagan was a fellow stoner and his poetic portrayal of the universe is understood on a more “spiritual” level when you are elevated.
Where can I get my hands on this Cosmos thing?
They’re all here on Guba.
Posted the wrong link, sorry.
They are also available to “Watched Instantly” on Netflix.
Also, on YouTube, or Amazon.
I started going through some scholarly articles but ran out of time about halfway through the first one. Here are some quotes:
“Chronic heavy cannabis smoking is associated with
increased symptoms of chronic bronchitis, such as
coughing, production of sputum, and wheezing.15,16 Lung
function is significantly poorer and there are significantly
greater abnormalities in the large airways of marijuana
smokers than in non-smokers. Tashkin and colleagues16,17
have reported evidence of an additive effect of marijuana
and tobacco smoking on histopathological abnormalities
in lung tissue.”
“Cannabis smoke may be carcinogenic; it is mutagenic in
vitro and in vivo.10 Cannabinoids impair cell-mediated
and humoral immunity in rodents, decreasing resistance
to infection, and non-cannabinoids in cannabis smoke
impair alveolar macrophages.”
“Chronic administration of high doses of THC to animals
lowers testosterone secretion, impairs sperm production,
motility, and viability, and disrupts the ovulatory cycle.23”
“Cannabis administration during pregnancy reduces
birthweight in animals.24 The results of human
epidemiological studies have been more equivocal.2 The
stigma of using illicit drugs during pregnancy discourages
honest reporting,25 and when associations are found, they
are difficult to interpret because cannabis users are more
likely than non-users to smoke tobacco, drink alcohol,
and use other illicit drugs during pregnancy, and they
differ in social class, education, and nutrition.26”
“There is suggestive evidence that infants exposed in
utero to cannabis have behavioural and developmental
effects during the first few months after birth.26 Between
the ages of 4 and 9 years, children who were exposed in
utero have shown deficits in sustained attention,
memory, and higher cognitive functioning.29”
“There is evidence that a cannabis dependence syndrome
occurs with heavy chronic use in individuals who report
problems in controlling their use and who continue to use
the drug despite experiencing adverse personal
consequences.2,39 There is some clinical evidence of a
dependence syndrome analogous to that for alcohol.2 In
the USA, cannabis dependence is among the most
common forms of illicit-drug dependence in the
population.40 About one in ten of those who ever use
cannabis become dependent on it at some time during
their 4 or 5 years of heaviest use.40”
“There is an association between cannabis use and
schizophrenia. A prospective study of 50 000 Swedish
conscripts45 found a dose-response relation between the
frequency of cannabis use by age 18 and the risk of a
diagnosis of schizophrenia over the subsequent 15 years. A
plausible explanation is that cannabis use can exacerbate
the symptoms of schizophrenia,2,46 and there is prospective
evidence that continued use predicts more psychotic
symptoms in people with schizophrenia.47”
Enjoy.
David: “(do you not research?)”
Yes I do, as it happens. Having been a part of a group of friends who got stoned a lot, I also have a few who have never stopped using cannabis, and who are demonstrably cognitively impaired as a result, including one who’s drug use (mainly cannabis but also some use of harder drugs) is the likely cause for him being in an almost permanent state of delusional psychosis.
WMDKitty: “I was gonna post a rebuttal to custador’s idiocy”
You may not like what I have to say, but it is rooted both in research and experience. There really is no need to be rude about it.
Karly: Have any of your doctors considered Crohn’s disease as a diagnosis? It fits the symptoms you’ve given, and cannabinoids certainly do help with that condition.
Custador, I will provide more up to date research regarding psychosis and cognitive functions in a bit, it is getting a bit late though (2:19 am here!). There is research that the adolescent use of cannabis does impair some cognitive function in some ways, however, a developed mature brain has been shown to not be impacted in the same way or impaired permanently.
It is common sense to avoid psychoactive substances, unless recommended by doctors, if one is pregnant or underage. The brain is greatly impacted by these substances when it is developing.
You made a point about the carcinogens present in cannabis smoke. This is true. There are 118 identified carcinogens in cannabis smoke and only 2 found in cannabis vapor, however, consistent studies over the years have shown that one’s risk of cancer in the thoracic, neck, and head regions does not increase, even with chronic exposer to smoke. This, again, is due to the properties of THC.
I’d like to point out the fact that I never said that inhaling combusted material is beneficial for your lungs. You only said that it poses more risks than tobacco (with regards to lung cancer), which is completely unfounded. I addressed this and stand uncorrected.
Again, inhaling smoke is not beneficial to your lung tissues because of the hot plant matter and tars associated with smoking. Smoking also puts a stress on your immune system, making you more prone to lung infections. However, I, like many, do not combust. We are health conscious and choose to vaporize instead.
Good for you; I’m pretty sure I pointed out that the increased cancer risk was a by-product of cannabis having a higher burning temp than tobacco – if I didn’t, then I should have done.
Please don’t get me wrong, the choice to toke or not to toke is entirely yours – but I do believe in making choices in awareness of all of the facts :-)
Please feel free to have a read! You’ll notice that I’ve kept the search terms neutral for balance and fairness.
Meant to post that last one further down for Karly.
I am currently seeing a good Rheumatologist, and we have found that it is likely auto-immune. However I rarely, if ever, run a fever which is a defining characteristic of Chron’s and UC. It is more likely that it’s Gluten Intolerance or Ankylosing Spondylitis, but a few more tests will tell. Or it might be an autonomic nervous system disorder … our bodies are complicated things. Especially when it comes to autoimmunity.
As far as pot goes, I would like to see links to those articles which you quoted. As expected, many of them have to with the form of THC that is smoked, and duh … smoking of any kind is bad for you. There are however other ways of ingesting it, as I do, by eating it.
In the paragraph about lowering levels of testosterone, I would like to hear actual levels of THC administered to those animals. In many such studies, they will give test subjects amounts that far exceed what a normal human would consume. For example, the whole nitrate scare in the 80′s … when they went back and reexamined the tests, they found that they were exposing the test subjects to levels of nitrates that no human (apart from maybe a competitive eater) could consume.
And paragraph about Schizophrenia? Was it just an observational study, or did they actually distribute the cannabis? If not, How could they know whether or not it was laced with something? They could be attributing negatives to the thc which are actually are caused by something else, similar to how wormwood (thujone) got a bad wrap for making people crazy, when it was really byproducts of people poorly distilling their own absinthe.
So yeah … context pls.
Custador — You obviously haven’t done the research, and are instead using government-approved “studies” designed to demonize cannabis. The REAL studies were suppressed by the government BECAUSE they weren’t getting the desired “tow-the-line” results.
And your friends who you allege are cognitively impaired due to cannabis were, most likely, cognitively impaired BEFORE they ever started smoking.
Again, do the research, and don’t just copy-paste government propaganda.
I would *love* to see some evidence of the claims you just made about government suppression.
You know something WMDkitty? You’re being incredibly offensive in order to defend your habit. You’re doing exactly what fundie Christians do – look at the evidence, realise there’s a lot against what you’re saying, then claim the evidence has been falsified. What’s hillarious to me is that I’m in the middle of my mental health module at university, and we’ve had upwards of a dozen speakers who’ve experienced sever mental health breakdowns following excessive cannabis use. As for my friend who’s a delusional psychotic thanks to long-term heavy cannabis use – I’ve known him all of his life. You haven’t. I will therefore use my own judgement and completely disregard your uninformed, biased bullshit.
If you can get hold of a track called ‘Jesus Wept’ by a band called Albertos y Lost Trias Paranoias (yes, that is the correct spelling) on their self-titled album, have a good laugh at this hilarious urine extraction of the whole evangelical testimonial scene.
“NOW that AH’VE found JEEsus –
Ah DON’ smoke DOPE no more
(AH don’ smoke it no LESS neither *cough*)”
Oh No. Im browsing wwww.fightingfantasy.com even as we speak. Surly the deamons fro byound the pit will devour my soul, unless I am saved.
Seriously though I was an atheist pretty much as long as I could remember, as my parents where not activly religious. I remember going to church with a friend, because I was curious. And going to after school bible study because they gave out biscuits at the end.
Later I discovered D&D and ran games. One of them in the shcool library at lunchtime. In Highschool I burnt a bible once, because a copy was forced on me. I experimented with Buddhism in University. And have sicne concluded that I’m not exactly an atheist.
While I’m yet to work out my phillosophy of life, I’m fairly certain that it dosn’t include the fear mongering god of Abraham, in any of his guises.
STEVE JACKSON!!!! NO WAY!!!!! I used to LOVE fighting fantasy books when I was a kid :D
Me too! I still have all my books!
Warlock of Firetop Mountain ruled. What was the futuristic one based around gangs of football (soccer) hooligans?
well, there all getting re-printed now, plus some new ones ;)
I’m waiting for a reprint of Deathtrap Dungeon.
This always bothered me about my experience in the church. I actually DID have a lot of crazy experiences as the result of a pretty shitty childhood. I was constantly asked to “give my testimony” at various church events, bibles studies, blah blah blah. I felt obligated to comply, but really, it’s some pretty crappy material that I didn’t necessarily enjoy detailing to a crowd full of faux-sympathetic strangers who are just looking for their dose of juiciness. Due to my somewhat dramatic (although not entirely unusual) childhood and my poor choices as a teenager, I was a frickin’ rock star at church, even though, really, I just wanted to forget about it and move on. I think my involvement in the church kept me from really dealing with my “issues” because it encouraged me to talk about them constantly in public and to sensationalize the details.
The Hatian Earthquake–miniature apocalyptic situation?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/vp/34834881#34834881
Does anyone else view this disaster as a miniature apocalypse? The 7.0 magnitude earthquake basically hit the capital of the country, demolishing government buildings and public works alike. Aid is already on the way, but imagine what would happen should Washington (or your country’s capital city) got hit by an earthquake of this strength and suffered this much damage.
NO! TELL ME THEY DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!
The III
And that has what to do with Molly’s post?
My testimony is as horrifying as the apocalypse! LMAO.
Molly, you were being deceived by people who were deceived themselves. They deny the true God and his commandments(mainly the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th) and follow their own tradition of men(Sunday worship,Christmas, Easter, New years,etc…). They preached a message of one about the deity of Christ but deny his gospel( means good news) of his coming Kingdom to rule over all on Earth. So your experience was half Bible(the word of the true God) and half pagan and that is all Satan needs to keep everyone in the dark about the true living God and his son Jesus Christ. There is a true Church lead by Jesus on this Earth. Jesus said If you love Me, you will keep My commandments Jn 14:15 . That means all of 10 of them excluding none. Most church’s say they keep them but the 4th commandment(Gods Holy Sabbath, Saturday) they outright refuse to keep. Sorry, for your bad experience ,but know this, God/Jesus had nothing to do with it.
The III
Wild stab, here. Are you a Seventh-Day Adventist by any chance?
Sure sounds like a Seventh-day Adventist.
Well, I agree with your first sentence wholeheartedly, but your little recap of the 10 commandments had nothing to do with my post. What do you know, all these problems I had stopped with church stopped… when I stopped going to church. Freedom from religion is the best “good news” I’ve had. And just out of curiosity, are you The 3, or The ill?
Sorry, my bad put in in the wrong place.
The III
Wild stab, here. Are you a Seventh-Day Adventist by any chance?
No, not a SDA
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Everyone else here can do it, I don’t understand why you consistently fail to do so.
When in college and still a Christian, I (unintentionally) went to a Maranatha service with this cute girl in my history class. She was a really nice, sweet girl, but during the service’s altar call just let loose, crying and wailing for forgiveness at her evil ways.
It completely shocked me that this girl would have any reason to feel that she had been so bad as to merit that level of grief over her actions. I never attended another Maranatha service and didn’t hang out with her any more after that. I didn’t know it, but this was one of the cornerstones of my very slowly burgeoning skepticism of religion.
I was an ignorant, smug, holier-than-thou christian homeschooler before I started my science degree and decided that a life of delusion wasn’t right for me. I became a Christian when I was 5 (or so) because the nice lady told me that god would give me whatever I asked for. At that moment I envisioned a red convertible so I became a christian. I never got the red convertible.
I have no good stories. I grew up in a very involved, but religiously nebulous family. My dad and his family were non-practicing Catholics, my Grandpa was an Atheist, my uncle was spiritual and gay, and my Mom was Agnostic. We rarely discussed what we believed because it was always more important to love and provide for those around you, family or not.
My exposure to organized religion was always through my friends, and thus I have been to Temple, Synagogue, as well as various Christian services. I was curious about such things, and my parents and friends obliged. I attended you group with my best friend in HS because it was a social thing. I didn’t seriously start getting into it until I started dating my (then boyfriend) husband, who grew up in a VERY Christian family, and stayed that way through most of college. Ironically, it wasn’t until we were trying to get married that I really started to question everything (again). The pastor refused to marry us because we had missed his regularly scheduled marriage counseling sessions and expected us, two broke college students, to drive to Vegas (more irony) and pay $200ish to attend some retreat. That plus quite a few other things … like higher education … helped me climb out of that silly phase. Thankfully my husband climbed with me.
For the whole of my life I never did anything really bad. I got good grades, went to college, didn’t drink or do drugs, because nothing ever felt taboo. My parents approach was always “do unto others” and “even if we don’t condone it, we will always be there for you when you make a stupid mistake, but don’t expect not to be grounded.” I think the worst thing I ever did was lose my virginity at 15, which is hardly anything to blush at now a days. … Oh and I did talk back to a cop once, but my parents agreed he was being an asshole. I still got grounded.
My life has been pretty boring so far. I don’t drink or do drugs. Wait, wait, but I have engaged in some homosexual activities with multiple guys … no anal. …Yet. Maybe someday I’ll give it a try and become a completely damned godless heathen. But until then, I’ll have to keep lamenting over how I don’t have any drunk/high/tripping out/sex stories to tell around campfires.
Maybe I could just tell them about how some guy, in an elevator, gave me a ha-
Well, since I’ve been physically handicapped since forever, I was kind of forced to endure the many tearful “My mother’s uncle’s aunt’s cousin’s neighbour’s been cured!!” kind of tripe. It’s like they’re on a mission to have Jebus cure me.
Still waiting…
This is probably the worst part of it all. The wheelchair, for some reason, attracts preachy types like flies to shit. If their “God” was going to heal me, he’d have done so already. He hasn’t. So, you know, STFU about miracles and healings– no, just STFU and WALK THE WALK, instead of just talking up your faith.
Yeah. I’ve been stopped on the street by preachy types trying to sell me miracle cures, and everyone and their mother seem to pull some testimony from someone who’s got cured and, y’know, this magic substance from the monks in Tibet really alleviates pain, and…
It’s annoying.
This is going to sound really harsh…. But even as a nurse, I’ve never felt like I should treat wheelchair users with any particular sympathy. I get annoyed at crappy wheelchair access, true – but I think I see so many people in really, really shitty situations that I kind of think “Phukkit, being in a chair? Could be a hell of a lot worse”. Does that make me a terrible person?
I can’t say for other people, but frankly: being in a friggin’ chair sucks, but I’d rather people leave me the f-k alone than try to help me with advice I don’t want and sympathy I don’t need.
So no, not a horrible person. Just one who knows how to treat people like, well, people.
Well, that’s good. At least I’m not a total twat.
one of my favorite questions to ask a fundie is “how did you feel before you knew Jesus?” they’ll inevitably answer something along the lines of “oh, i was wretched. i was miserable.” then i say “well, i don’t feel that way, so i guess the personal relationship thing isn’t for me…” they usually don’t have much to add.
Hm… I never became an atheist… I don’t think I’d like being an atheist very much.
But before I became a Christian I used to pick on kids in school. <.<
Yeah I was kind of a dick when I was thirteen.
But yeah. Never encountered any Satanist Rock Orgies.
When I was a kid I was afflicted with DEMONS of depression and I wished I had never been born. I was like, 8 years old trying to figure out a painless way to kill myself.
Then I started going to church all the time, one of those tongues-speaking churches that has worshipe services for 5 hours, complete with people falling on the floor and claiming to have demons cast out of them.
I still got depressed a lot though. I didn’t always obey my parents. (My room was always a mess. That was the biggest thing.) Therefore, it was all my fault because I “knew God” and “knew the Bible” and so I had no excuse for living in defeat, so obviously I had made some pact with the Devil where I could still be afflicted by Demons of Depression.
It was because of all that sin in my life. After all, the Old Testament does state that you should take your rebellious kids outside and stone them to death. The Bible also says that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. So there you go. The more mentally disturbed I was, the more it was my fault for being in league with the devil.
I finally got tired of that God stuff, and I still get depressed sometimes. But now I take medication for it.
Yup. When I got depressed and hit low enough to make an attempt on my own life, I was given cognitive behavioural therapy and antidepressant medication – which I have been taking on and off for ten years. I’m still here and I’ve never hit anything like that low since. Bollocks to religion, take the drugs.