Godblock

From the GodBlock Website:

GodBlock is a web filter that blocks religious content. It is targeted at parents and schools who wish to protect their kids from the often violent, sexual, and psychologically harmful material in many holy texts, and from being indoctrinated into any religion before they are of the age to make such decisions. When installed properly, GodBlock will test each page that your child visits before it is loaded, looking for passages from holy texts, names of religious figures, and other signs of religious propaganda. If none are found, then your child is allowed to browse freely.

Via Jesus Needs New PR, who comments: “To an atheist, God is like porn.”

For five extra points, explain that analogy.

  • Lou Morris

    Wouldn’t this also block most Atheist sites? It’d be a bit more useful if it instead disemvoweled the offending words and phrases.

  • Meanie

    I don’t get the “to an atheist, god is like porn” comment. Do atheists rail against god, caution others against god, and then secretly download inappropriate god images and surreptitiously engage in god-worshiping activities, and then need a blocking application so their children don’t stumble upon a subject that is hypocritically deemed taboo?

  • http://falseimago.tumblr.com falseimago

    God is nothing like porn. I take pleasure from porn, I take nothing from god, this analogy fails.

  • NinjaDebugger

    β€œTo an atheist, God is like porn.”

    You mean that it’s unrealistic, degrading to women, and best observed from a safe distance?

    • Nelly

      I think you’re on to something there

    • Sunny Day

      It’s only degradeing to women?

      Pssst! Your bias is showing.

      • R@nDM

        Porn is degrading to women because to be a porn woman you have to be sexy, while men can be ugly as hell. That’s the joke I heard.

    • LRA

      LOL! Of course a program that blocked p0rn would be called “cockblock”.

      :P

  • ernest.shackleton3

    Isn’t reason the real god block? Reason inoculates children and adults so they don’t need a filter. The trouble is getting people to use reason. If reason were a pill and sold by Pfizer and it had a slick marketing campaign more people would use it.

  • mikespeir

    By the description, it wouldn’t let you read much of the Bible online.

  • Steve

    As satire, it’s pretty funny, but if it’s meant as a serious program, I think it misses the mark. Personally, I WANT to know what people believe and why, no matter how crazy or unfounded it might be. I don’t want to filter out anything. If the truth is that most people believe weird things, then I want to know that, if nothing else so that I know how to effectively counter their arguments.

  • nazani14

    How about all those violent, sexual characters in Japanese games, like Sephiroth? There’s a boatload of characters named, apparently, by somebody flipping through an encyclopedia of world religions.

  • Baconsbud

    Why would anyone really want or need this? I think it is childish and a waste of time. Are the people that get this also going to pull their kids from schools because some religion might be discussed by other kids they know?

    • http://girlwithwings.tumblr.com JT

      I agree. I don’t really see the point in it, either. Besides, maybe I just come from a poorer area than most, but where I come from kids don’t have access to internet IN school until high school, and then there’s only a computer lab that is monitored at all times — a few teachers have computers in class, but they usually come from their own pocket money.

      No, I don’t believe that children should be indoctrinated into religion at a young age, but again, that’s something that goes on at home and there is nothing to be done about it. It’s like child abuse in rural areas — hardly likely to go checked simply because there is nothing and no one around to enforce the law. As someone who was raised Christian and decided that it wasn’t for me at 14 years old (20 now), I have to say that people who have a liberal outlook on society tend to generally not do too much harm to their kids.

      I was lucky: my mother is a socially liberal, politically conservative woman who really stressed to me the importance of being nice to other people and listening to them, rather than worshipping Jesus and preaching to others. But I understand that many kids aren’t so lucky.

      Really, what is this device accomplishing? When it boils down to it it is limiting them from a mode of thought that they may actually agree with. How is a child gaining access to a pro-religious website any different than him or her viewing a pro-Tory or anti-union website, or even this website? There is plenty of violent, sexual, and psychologically harmful content all over tv and the internet — have any of you EVER visited a website like 4chan or 7chan, even just briefly? Furthermore, there are very few places where there exists anything even CLOSE to a lack of bias, and if a child is that interested in learning about something like religion, I say instead create an engine that will provide links to articles of different opinion.

      Sorry for rambling. I hope this was coherent.

      ALSO: for the five points: To an atheist, God is like porn = we all want to be God, but then we would lose all of our friends.

      • http://girlwithwings.tumblr.com JT

        Excuse me, to amend the “God is like porn” statement: We all think of ourselves as our own Gods, but if we were to say it out loud our friends would laugh at us.

  • Dan

    God is like porn?! But I LOVE porn! Bad analogy there.

  • Roger

    I went to the website…I haven’t figured out if these folks are serious (I mean, how would such a program really be able to work?) or if they’re taking the piss. I hope it’s the latter.

    • Kodie

      I think it’s real. It says it’s aimed at parents and schools. Penn Jillette tweeted about it this afternoon (the quote is also on the feedback section of the site):

      http://twitter.com/pennjillette (about 4 “short, timely messages” from the top at the time I posted this)

      Finally some software to help your children avoid dangerous crazy violent sick shit that we have proof does real damage – Godblock.com 12:57 PM Jul 9th via Twitterrific

      The “god is like porn” is that you don’t know what your kids are really looking at on the internet, and they’re not inclined to ask for clarification. I don’t think it’s healthy to keep the reality of religious thoughts away from children, but to be able to feed them information before they start falling for some convincing but broken arguments about hell and why they should love Jesus. A lot of religious sites create fear also and discuss end times urgently, graphically, or show bloody fetuses magnified to fit your monitor.

      I like a little curiosity in a kid, but you don’t know what they’re exposed to when they’re looking at the internet and how they are processing it in their minds without asking mom or dad. Like sex vs. porn, I think something like this blocker allows parents to introduce subjects at their pace and the child’s pace before they are exposed to some hardcore zealotry and don’t know what to make of it, get scared of it, get scared into religion, or whatnot.

  • matt

    God is like porn? God doesn’t exist. Porn does. God websites suck. Porn websites are good. Analogy fails.

  • Revyloution

    God is like porn.

    Porn is graphic material used for sexual stimulation.
    God is graphic material used for bigoted stimulation.

    Porn can be used for self gratification.
    God can be used for illogical rationalization.

    Porn can be a tool for degrading women.
    God can be used to degrade women.

    Porn can sometimes cause feelings of guilt.
    God can sometimes cause feelings of guilt (especially when looking at porn)

    Porn can be used to make you feel good when you have no sexual partner.
    God can make you feel good when you want to demonize a minority population.

    Watching porn with a bunch of guys can be creepy.
    Watching people worship god can be really creepy.

    Porn is easily available, but most people don’t want to talk about it, even if they look at porn.
    God is easily available, but most people don’t want to talk about it, even if they believe in it.

    Porn is free, but if you get suckered, it can be really expensive.
    God is free, but if you get suckered, it can be really expensive.

    • Jasowah

      What about, “Children shouldn’t be subjected to either due to a lack of understanding”?
      (I apologize for my lack of grammatical grace)

  • Cucumber

    Censorship sucks hard.

  • Sheila Sharkey

    Porn is stories, pictures, videos about sex with others in the world. It’s not sex. Porn is a substitute for sex.

    God is stories, pictures, videos about life with others in the world. It’s not life. God is a substitute for living your life in the world.

    Porn comes in handy when you’re alone, or don’t want to deal with the complications of people, or when you’re with someone and want to jump start sex without a lot of foreplay. It’s a tool, like a can opener.

    God, on the other hand, takes more time and sucks up more resources, and you don’t even have an orgasm to show for your investment.

    That’s the closest I can come to explaining that one.

  • DDM

    As humorous and useful as this would be, I can’t support censorship in any way, even if it’s something as revolting as religion.

  • Elisabeth

    God is like porn, because even though we know it’s wrong and it’s often disgusting, it’s so fascinating, we find it hard to look away.

    It’s also like porn because there is something in our human physiology and/or psyche that attracts us to the concept of God (otherwise, why would it be so popular!) in the same way that our physiology and psyche attract us to sex.

    • Paul

      Except religion, unlike sex, doesn’t have the whole practical results bit.

      “Physics is like sex. Sure it has some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.”
      –Richard Feynman


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