Largest Jesus Statue Being Built

Poland is building the world’s largest Jesus statue. Why? Money, of course!

Swiebodzin, a Polish town of 21,000 near the German border, will soon be home to a 33-metre effigy of Christ, which, along with a crown that adds a further two metres and its 16-metre mound will put all other statues dedicated to the son of God in its shade.

Due for completion in November, the monument should pip the world’s current record holder, Bolivia’s Cristo de la Concodia statue, by some nine metres, and look down on the world famous statue in Rio de Janeiro, which stands just 30 metres tall minus its plinth.

Although erected ostensibly to show gratitude to God, the town hopes having the massive statue will bring tourists into a community that has lain off the beaten track for most of its existence.

“If we had opened a racetrack or a golf course here, tourists would have come only for the season. But with a statue of Jesus the season will last the whole year,” a local official told Wprost, a weekly news magazine.

With construction nearing the end, engineers face the hazardous task of lifting the figure’s massive head and shoulders into place, which, officials say, might require the use of a helicopter.

Either Jesus really likes being used to extract money from the gullible, or he’s being curiously silent on the matter.


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  • L.Long

    And the 2nd commandment is…….

  • Sunny Ng

    “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.”

  • The Vicar

    I notice that Jesus looks astonishingly Polish in that picture, too, for a guy who was at least half-semitic and passed for semitic throughout his life.

  • Kodie

    Do a lot of people go to Poland for a vacation? This reminds me of Jake Johannsen’s bit in This’ll Take About an Hour about seeing the carved mountain Crazy Horse on a family vacation as a child (this section starts after 5:15):

    And they want 6 bucks to look at it, which, I don’t know how they could keep you from seeing a mountain, that’s my… it’s a mountain, there wasn’t a curtain or anything. That’d be another dollar, “See the world’s biggest curtain!”

    If you have about an hour, it’s recommended to watch start to finish.

    • Jerdog

      That’s one of my favorite standup shows of all time. Understand MY power [rips off face]

  • mikespeir

    He won’t get any more real no matter how big they make him.

  • arrakis

    You would think that a country crushed under the Soviets for half a century would have an aversion to authoritarian statues.

    • Yoav

      But jeebus and his baby-daddy only do the good kind of mass murder.

    • SaraToday

      Maybe not having an aversion is why they were crushed to begin with?

  • Alexis

    Have the taken more precautions that the touchdown jesus people? This could become the world’s biggest smoldering mess.

  • Olaf

    Actually we have a history or a religion. So its part of the culture and history of the country and a nice tourist attraction. I mean we also build giant statues of the FSM.

  • Skippy

    They might as well make a big statue of Mr. Spock or Harry Potter.

  • Monocle Lad

    Obviously you guys are all getting it wrong and taking things “out of context” The bible is pretty clear no statue idols UNLESS its of jesus, in which case it should be big enough that God can see it from space heaven.

    • Mark V

      where does it say this?

      • Kodie

        It says it in the sarcasm translation.

        • LRA

          Ah, yes! The ol’ STV…. good one.

  • Siberia

    Ours still has prettier scenery, though. So there.
    It always kind of disturbed me that my birth city is overlooked by a massive stone statue, but, yeah.

  • cnocspeireag

    This statue is 33m tall and 9m taller than the current record holder, but Rio’s statue is already 30m. Shurely shome mishtake? Which one of us has had a liquid lunch, or does everyone’s brain shut down at thoughts of Jebus?

  • 1minion

    In the entry I did on my blog about this, I suggested that they should have at least made a hotel out of it. They’ll never recoup the cost of making this thing just by hoping tourists stop by to have a gander and shop later.

    • Mike

      You underestimate the power of delusion. ;-)

  • Charlie Sitzes

    I’ll see your 33 meters and raise you 3 meters!

  • mikespeir

    This isn’t Jesus. Jesus is 900 feet tall. Oral Roberts said so.