They Keep Getting Younger

This one’s in danger of going viral. A boy survives emergency surgery and wakes up with a story about meeting John the Baptist … and a book deal.

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I apologize for posting a clip to “Fox and Friends,” which is inane even by Fox standards.


  • burpy

    Remember the days before the internet when your only windows on the world were newspapers and TV? Thank FSM those days are gone.

    • dutchhobbit

      No I don’t. I was too young luckily. :P

    • Jabster

      … and the wonders of the internet allows us to back up any view point however mad and untrue it may be … :-)

    • Siberia

      … nope, can’t say I remember it ;)

    • nazani14

      I remember being on a homestead in Alaska listening to a shortwave radio with glowing tubes. Sounds that have stayed with me include some Brit railing about the Mau-Mau, balalaika music, and Cuban ladies praying for President Batista. After the Sovs put a dog in orbit, I listened hard at night to try to hear it barking.

  • Dave

    Just an American kid’s fertile imagination.

  • mikespeir

    That story’s got more holes than a screen door. The kid can identify pictures of his great grandfather as a young man? Gee, you don’t suppose he’d been shown those pictures before, do you? God can fit the whole world into his hands? Hm. Makes me want to sing. Could it be that the kid had heard the song before? Jesus had blue eyes? Really? A first century Palestinian Jew with blue eyes? Even the boy’s knowledge of the miscarriage isn’t weird. Maybe he had overheard his mom and dad talking about it at one time or another? Maybe he had heard something on TV about miscarriage and it finally gelled in his little brain that such a thing could have happened to his own mother. Then he made a lucky guess.

    • Erin

      Notice how when he is asked to descrbie Jesus there are numerous pauses, and the boy is constantly looking the the right at something………que-card maybe?

      I am not saying that this boy didn’t experience anything, he proablly did. But what he experienced was praoblly highly influenced by his parents teaching him about christianity before the incident, and than after he releaved his experience his parents proablly pushed him to believe what he saw was heaven. I mean how many of us have fallen asleep to the TV on and than end up having a dream containing the same charecters and scences?

    • Jim

      Actually, I’ve read that blue eyes first appeared in Syria about 10,000 years ago. Lots of blue-eyed Jews out there whose DNA goes right back to the Middle East…but yeah, the kid’s either delusional, lying, or trying to make sense out of various stuff he’s already seen.

      • mikespeir

        I heard of them, too, Jim. I just suspect that this kid’s story comes of enculturation, not of an actual mystical experience. Blue eyes in a first-century Jew is not the way to bet.

      • JK

        Well you got that completely wrong. Jesus was the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and therefore could have had eyes in whatever color he would’ve liked.

        People use their knowledge to explain things that happened to them. So things you see – even when you just were delusional have to fit into your world view. So you saw a bright light while you were unconscious – it must have been God (no matter which one they believe in).

  • Thegoodman

    How is this different than a kid that says he sees ghosts? or monsters under his bed? or an imaginary friend?

    Lots of people have dreams and hallucinations that are vivid. That doesn’t mean we have to give them all credence. That also means that vivid dreams/fantasys/hallucinations that involve jesus or any other biblical figure are any more real than the ones involving aliens.

    • burpy

      The difference is that most kids´ parents don´t begin to plant false memories in the child´s mind, write a book about it and then hawk the kid around the nation´s TV studios.

  • busterggi

    Gee, maybe the kid should’ve just skipped the surgery & let John the Baptist & company heal him.

  • Bob

    I just threw up in my mouth…

  • Igor

    That’s some “misdiagnosis” – five days with a ruptured appendix, and they think it’s a stomach flu.
    Quick: which is the fastest way to cash in? A long drawn-out lawsuit, or a stupid book about anesthesia-fueled dreams, with numerous TV appearances? And what better venue to start with
    than “Fox and Friends” – the network’s fantasy flagship?

    The Burpos (love it!) got them some damn smart lawyers and publicists.

  • nazani14

    Ah, the wonders of anesthesia-induced hallucinations. As I recall, Glen Beck said he saw children having their faces ripped off, or something equally gruesome. My own vivid dreams following bunion surgery involved Aztecs (not killing anybody) and circus animals.

    “sea-blue eyes and a smile that lit up the heavens” Well, I guess Jesus can have pink hair if he wants to, but he should be more careful not to play into racist propaganda.

  • Custador

    Did Gretchen’s peroxide come with a free lobotomy?

  • painandpanic

    “So you say that god is a big man right?”
    “Yeah, he can actually fit the entire world in his hands.”

    Well… I haven’t heard THAT one before.

    • LRA

      Wait… you mean he’s got the whole world in his hands? The whole wide world… in his HANDS??? The WHOLE world in his hands? The whole WORLD in his hands?????????


  • DDM

    “He recovers [from the surgery], it’s a miracle.”

    Really. Really.

    • Custador

      What from a ruptured apendix?! Pfff! Hardly a bloody miracle, more… How can I say this…. Extremely commonplace.

      • DDM

        Actually, my point was that the doctors would disagree that it was a miracle.

  • JohnMWhite

    So how many Muslims who saw heaven are going to get to say their piece on Fox and Friends? And since these miscarriages were likely natural, is O’Reilly going to be consistent and start talking about god the baby killer? Or does Yahweh not rhyme as well as Tiller?

    I like that there is “no way” the kid would have known that his parents were praying or on the phone. No way. No chance anyone could have figured that’s pretty much where they would be, or that they might have been in that situation several times before while he was conscious and it just got blended into his memory.

  • MahouSniper

    Wow, a bizarre hallucination while heavily medicated and in a traumatic surgery? That’s so uncommon!

  • John

    I would love to see the demographics of the people that watch this show. I’m thinking shut-ins and fundamentalist women in hand sewn flowered dresses.

    • Wafik

      It is incredibly difficult to get accurate demographics for any show on Fox, but you would be pretty safe to assume that their viewers are primarily old, white, Christian men.

  • LRA

    Jesus has blue eyes??? Really????? He must reside in this place:

  • Jim

    OK, I just looked it up, and yes, blue eyes are 6-10000 yrs. old…People with blue eyes were sampled in Denmark, Turkey, and Jordan, and they all have a common DNA marker. So, a blue eyed Jew/Palestinian from 2000 years a go is not scientifically out of the question (I’m a blue-eyed Jew myself, like both of my parents). However, I’m sure the kid was referring to the portraits of “Jesus” he saw around the house: Renaissance paintings where the artist used people around them as models. Case in point, the famous glowing aryan “Jesus” with the flowing blond surfer hair (or as my wife calls him, “Breck Jesus”).

    • burpy

      I imagine Jesus could appear in any form he wished, just like Krishna.

      • John C

        Great insight burpy. But could you imagine Him appearing in you, even as you? (Gal 2:20). But of course, before that could ever happen (is it possible?) you’d have to be dead to you, to your self-lived and self-willed so-called life so He could take up residence, could live through you. What would that be like, Christ living His (kind & quality) of (zoe) life through burpy? Too good to be true eh? But that’s the gospel message that you’ve never heard before friend.

        Happy Thanksgiving

        • LRA

          Hmmm.. yes. Yes, it is too good to be true.

          Happy Turkey Day, JC!


  • Wafik

    I refuse to take any claims seriously that are not made before a book comes out. Religious or not, if you are trying to sell me a book, I am immediately suspicious. Yes, even when it comes to science (most studies are post in journals, etc). The remaining crazy has already been commented on enough by those before me.

  • claidheamh mor

    If it were any other subject, it would be dismissed as a four-year-old’s fantasies. But not if they’re religious fantasies! (Gotta be christianity, natch!)

    ‘Course, if it were any other subject, there also wouldn’t be any book or news about it. Heaven is real! ‘Cause a little kid told us so! Out of the mouths of babes and all that crap…. same mouths get slapped for challenging big people’s current notion of reality.

    Suddenly, a four-year-old is believable! Oops, I threw up again.

    Sorry, I couldn’t quite hack listening through the entire piece.

  • Jerome

    The stoopid. It burns.

  • Tee

    Someone please tell me this is NOT what passes for news in the USA!!!!

    • Wafik

      You clearly have never watched any of the American 24 hour news networks. I would call this story better then normal.

    • Michael

      You should have read the whole story:

      I apologize for posting a clip to “Fox and Friends,” which is inane even by Fox standards.

      “Inane even by Fox standards” is like “cruel even by Genghis Khan’s standards.” It’s in many cases actually worse than tabloid journalism.

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