From American Jesus comes this story of crime and redemption … sorta. As the poster put it, “This is one of those videos that you listen to and find yourself saying, “Did he really just say that??”’
You heard it here, unbelievers. Converting can CHANGE YOUR DNA! We’ll all go out and knock over some convenience stores, leave lots of hair and skin samples behind, then have a “genuine born-again experience” and change our DNA. It’s the perfect crime!
This gives me a great idea for a heist.
Reminds me of the time someone tried to tell me that a computer had analysed the bible and had come to the conclusion that it was written by only one person. These people just make shit up.
Garbage In, Garbage Out.
If a computer analyzed it, Cletus automatically assumes it’s true.
miracle? sounds more like either a screwup in the lab, or the case of john schneeberger:.
Yeah, my first thought was “Oh, what, because I’ve neverknown a lab to fuck-up and switch results…”
Or he’s just full of sh*t. Lab mix ups happen but procedures are put in place to minimize the number of errors. Lying priests (and gurus, rabbis, imams, shamans etc) on the other hand are dime a dozen. Another thing that suggest the story is crap is that if the police had her DNA on file from the first case they wouldn’t need to take a new sample they would have just compared the second crime scene sample to her original sample. The end of the video sums it very well, citation needed.
I can believe he said that. When I was in the church (as a teenager), we were told by one of the group leaders that when you receive the baptism of the holy spirit, it changes your blood to be the same as Jewish blood. People will say many things in the name of Jesus – many lies. But like the request at the end says – does anyone know this woman? Can she be found?
Remember, knowingly lying is okay provided you’re doing it
to gullible sad-acts who don’t know any better and don’t want to either so you’ll never get caughtfor JesusYes, because then it’s like a parable. Or something.
There are also cases of genetic chimeras where one person may have two different genomes in different parts of his/her body. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_chimera: A chimera or chimaera is an animal that has two or more different populations of genetically distinct cells that originated in different zygotes involved with sexual reproduction; if the different cells emerged from the same zygote, it is called a mosaic. Chimeras are formed from four parent cells (two fertilized eggs or early embryos fused together). Each population of cells keeps its own character and the resulting animal is a mixture of tissues. Chimeras are typically seen in non-human zoology, but also discovered to a rare extent in humans.
In this case however, I suspect that the preacher is just one lying son of a sea cook.
Hey, I think I saw that in a House’s chapter!
I have a question, do chimeras have two souls?
One under each shoe.
That was an awesome episode! The little boy who saw aliens, right??
I, for one, have taken great pains not to be born again, as I am not the tiny little bundle of joy that I used to be and it would be extremely rough on my mother.
[Fixed By Teh Srvr Mnkys]
Thanks, server monkeys! My heroes!
So tell me, when are an infinite number of you guys going to get together and start pounding out all the plays that Shakespeare was going to write but never had time for?
We have a monkey farm in China attempting to breed us ∞ monkeys. They’re cheap, but the workmanship sucks.
That’s OK, as long as they can come up with stuff that’s better than “Coriolanus”- which in my opinion shouldn’t be hard.
Huhuhuhuh… Coriol… Anus… Huhuhuhuhuh…
This is GREAT NEWS for prosecutors who are finding their death row cases overturned by DNA evidence. If they can prove the inmate probably “Found Jesus” after committing the crime then they can argue that a DNA mismatch is to be EXPECTED and proves NOTHING about the innocence of the people on death row. A DNA match on the other hand, proves the prisoner never REALLY converted and thus deserves to be executed even sooner.
What if jesus screwed it up and converted your DNA into that of a real -not you- murderer?
BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!
The answer is simple.
She Evolved.
The only crimes they “go back” and look at old DNA evidence for are murders, violent assaults and sexual assaults. So, basically, he’s saying that she essentially got away with murder and hey – that’s OK ’cause she was born again.
He’s such a horse’s ass (although I have known some very nice horses in my time).
I have one thing to say to this guy: PLOSTFU.
I get the “STFU” part, but what is the “PLO” part of what you just said?
Peace, Love, Out?
Post link or shut the fuck up.
Thank you!
I always though it was Pic, Link, or STFU, but I like yours better.
hahahahahahhahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahah
This will made my day, THANKS!
Wait, WHAT?