Dear Church of Latter Day Saints,

Hey, how’s that Proposition 8 thing going?

Great, listen. I just wanted you to know that while you were focused on California, New York has made it so that gay couples can get married in Palmyra, birthplace of Mormonism and home of the Sacred Grove. And Manchester, where Joesph Smith found the golden plates at Cumorah.

So in late July, gay folks may be getting married within sight of some of the holiest spots in the Mormon universe.

Just thought you should know.

Didn’t you realize that New York is the original California? We had sailors sitting in gay bars while the west coast had nothing but natives and missionaries. We had pirates dressing in drag while San Francisco was just a hilly spot on the peninsula.

Oh, and we had our religious kooks as well, and we put up with them. Shakers and Quakers and Swedenborgians, oh my. William Miller, Cyrus Teed … and Joseph Smith. Tell me, how do you think your founder would have fared in Boston?

We made you. You’re a product of our wildness and our tolerance. But you went away. Look, I’m sorry about the credit crash that drove you out, blame Wall Street. But now you’ve turned your back on the virtues that brought you into being. Revolutionaries become reactionaries within a generation.

So now we’ve left you behind.

Sincerely,
VorJack

  • http://wondergoon.wordpress.com WonderGoon

    ROFL! Nice!

  • Igor

    And today is the anniversary of Joseph Smith being killed by a mob of angry citizens in Carthage, Illinois in 1844. Payback’s a bitch, Joseph.

  • http://knightsmovebrain.wordpress.com/ zach

    LOL I love your writing vorjack.

    • Jerdog

      Yes but Massachusetts beat you to marriage equality by over 7 years.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X