Jesus vs. The Comet

August 6, 2011 By 54 Comments

Paul Begley, a Baptist preacher from Indiana, has discovered astronomy, and the results are not pretty. Neither is the altar call at the end.

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(via Scotteriology)

Filed Under: Christianity, Jesus, Videos, Weird 54 Comments
  • mikespeir

    Hey, I didn’t know the Earth “evolves” around the Sun. I didn’t know that maybe asteroids are going to be coming with this comet. Who says you can’t learn from this guy! I think I’m gonna get myself saved.

    • TrickQuestion

      we can use this as proof that faithies believe in evolution!

    • Len

      To be fair, the earth (or at least, its inhabitant species) do evolve as they go round the sun.

      • mikespeir

        That’s being fairer than necessary–or warranted–I think.

        • Len

          And he probably didn’t mean that, anyway.

  • Michael

    Ah yes, a comet will be coming . . . with asteroids and meteors! And its magnetic and gravitational pulls will create earthquakes and tsunamis and volcanoes and tornadoes and cyclones and mudslides and forest fires! And a magnetic pole reversal!

    We’re all doomed!! Hooray!!

  • TrickQuestion

    “On August 15th there’s going to be a powerful day where god reaches out to touch man…”
    And on August 16th, there are going to be a record number of sexual harassment suits….

    • FO

      This assumes that God is male, you mysogitheist!

      • TrickQuestion

        Not in the least! Sexual harassment can be from either sex. I’m Nondenominationalscriminatory

        • mikespeir

          “Sexual harassment can be from either sex.”

          Not in my experience. What am I doing wrong? :-(

  • Anne

    Hey wow, so much bullshit in such a short time! I thought people stopped believing in that stuff like a hundred years ago. I also like that the bread of the Jews is also the bread of Jesus in the Seder. Umm yeah, ok, whatever. Can I go smack that guy?

  • http://messiestobjects.typepad.com messiestobjects

    Paul, I want to be saved from bullshitters, charlatans, and morons like you.

  • http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/ Andrew Hall

    Isn’t “The Walking Dead” supposed to start up around the time that this comet makes an appearance? I say it’s a sign of the Zombie Apocalypse.

  • http://www.sosnomore.com Kirby Clendenon

    J F C

  • trj

    It’s never pretty to see examples of how religion can nurture someone’s insanity.

  • Devysciple

    Don’t worry, he’s not insane, he just mixed up asteroids with ass-droids… Common mistake among amateur astronomers. That means no surprise cosmic buttsecks for you, Paul!

    • JohnMWhite

      Ass-droids? I will never look at R2-D2 the same way again…

      • SpyderM

        Yeah, I think that was a character in Star Whores.

  • busterggi

    Would someone please inform this nut that comets come by pretty damned often. I mean Hale-Bopp was visible for over a year on its visit in ’95 and it was beautiful and impressive and totally harmless.

    • trj

      Yeah, but this one is going to pass between the Earth and the Sun!!!

      • Michael

        Yeah I loled at that. You know what will really be crazy? When TWO PLANETS pass between them!

  • http://ohmatron.wordpress.com/ Custador

    If he knows there’s a Sun in the sky, do you think maybe somebody should tell him about Sun-screen?

    • Len

      Son-screen would be a good idea.

      • psufreak100

        LMAO! Well played!

  • ironflange

    I remember Comet Kohoutek in, um, 1974 or so. It turned out to be a big fizzle, but for a while there all the nut jobs sure were crawling out of the woodwork. You couldn’t find a payphone that wasn’t full of stupid comet tracts. I can only imagine what it would have been like if the intert00bz was around back them.

  • Dennis

    I always wonder what the fundamentalist were doing in Science class when they were in school? Or is this another example that the Bible is definitely not a Science book!

    • Melody

      Well, given the fact that many of them went to Christian schools, they were only taught science as was convenient to creationist guidelines. I went to one for about 7 years before returning to public school (comprehensive if you aren’t American). They’ll teach you real science insofar as it doesn’t interfere with YEC, but as far as the origins of earth and species (and to a lesser extent, human sexuality), everything else is at best pseudoscience, at worst mythical and not suitable at all for scientific research.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/TennesseEMW Vol-E

      They flunked, realized they weren’t going to be a success at anything they tried (since they also flunked math, English & social studies and got wedgied out of every gym class they were in), so they found the one thing they could do successfully, dependent only on the continued birth and nurturing of gullible fools.

  • 100meters

    Has anyone else found from years of observing people, that the amount of shrieking, finger-pointing, yelling, etc. is exactly in REVERSE proportion to the amount of actual evidence presented?

  • vasaroti

    I can almost smell the cheap whiskey on his breath as he puts down the cup and leans toward the camera.

  • Igor

    If the comet passes between the earth and the sun, how the hell will be able to see it? Wow.

  • Mike

    A comet? Really? OMFSM, we’ve never had one of those before….With an estimated diameter of 3-4km and a relative speed of 86,000 kph, if it were headed straight for us s**t-for-brains may have had a point – but as it’s going to miss by 35 million km I’m not TOO worried…

    Wish I had a pound for every failed apocalyptic prophet…

    • Jabster

      Personally I wish I had a pound for every apoplectic prophet …

      • Devysciple

        A pound of gold for every apocalyptic apoplectic prophet, failed or not!

    • Sunny Day

      He was prolly remembering the beginning of Thundar the Barbarian he watched as a kid, got too excited and made a video.

      • Ty

        Ha!

      • UrsaMinor

        Not a great inspiration. I hated Thundarr the Barbarian nearly as much as I hate this video.

  • Sayingwhatneedsaying

    Is this guy stupid by accident…. or does he have to work at it? Oh, LOAD…. save us from your followers!!!!

    • Paul

      Maybe there is a god, is tired of his followers being so idiotic, so he allowed atheism as an answer to that prayer. QED

  • Sunny Day

    Get the feeling hes just stringing astronomical terms together with no understanding of what they mean?

  • Mike de Fleuriot

    I watched this, I actually watched it, fully non stop, with both eyes. And confirmed why I do not believe.

    Harris is correct, it’s not the fundamentalists that are the problem, it’s the fundamentals that are the problem. The crazies use the same books as our mothers do.

  • http://jingreed.typepad.com Jing-Reed

    I tried to watch the video, honestly I tried, but with each passing second I found my I.Q. slipping ever downward. Scary stuff.

    To paraphrase Gertrude Stein‎, ‘Merde is merde is merde’.

  • Nelly

    where did he learn astronomy?

    my prof in college would have sent this idiot packing

    • Yoav

      College professor, I don’t see how this guy graduated 2nd grade, even if he was home schooled.

  • Sayingwhatneedsaying

    This guy couldn’t discover his own butt-hole….. with a flash light!

  • H6

    I can tell he was right about God being here today…. I wanted to go longboarding but it’s raining… pretty obvious his prophecy was about my plans for this afternoon being put off…

  • Kip

    I used to think it was bad enough that these people could vote but now what worries me is that they can reproduce and seem to do so with great frequency.

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  • thomas mc

    I think it proves the comet has a stupidity field, It sure affected a lot of people!

  • Kip

    The worst thing about goofs like this is that there are millions of christers out there that believe in this crap. Worse yet is that these christers can vote. And worse yet is that they can reproduce.

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  • vklotz

    A new comet, C/2012 S1 , could be the return of the “Star of Bethlehem” with a long tail.
    See the Great Comet of 1680 astrobob dot areavoices
    Calculate: 2013-1680=333. Then 333×6=1998. Then 2013-1998=15ad.
    There was a census in 14 ad Jerusalem by Caesar Augustus and written in the Gospel of Luke.
    The exact year of the birth of Jesus has not been precisely determined.