The Christian James Bond

Evangelical Christianity can never seem to make up its mind. Does it want to separate itself from popular culture, or does it want to embrace popular culture? Sometimes it seems to want to do both, rejecting pop culture for awhile, the scurrying to catch back up with it. This leads to comical results, such as the fact that Christian rock trends are usually 15 years behind the times.

So in that vein, meet Jimmy Valiant, an action hero without the gratuitous sex and alcohol.

Jimmy Valiant: Scions of Danger is an exciting, small-budget (by Hollywood standards) pilot for a proposed episodic series for network broadcast, internet streaming, and DVD. As a pilot, it is intended to serve as a concept for the series that, if approved by studios and networks for full-budget production, would expand. The pilot’s story itself would be re-shot and incorporated into the larger story of the entire 13-episode series.

The message of this series is simple: Heroism begins at the heart. For the last fifty years, men have watched movie heroes such as James Bond, Rambo, Jason Bourne, and the characters of the Mission Impossible series and received a counterfeit picture of manhood. While many appreciate the courage and can-do spirit of these characters, they’ve also been treated to a wash of self-indulgence: lust, rage, and rebellion. With admiration, young boys have grown into adult males emulating these wicked attributes. True manhood has been the casualty.

Our film Jimmy Valiant: Scions of Danger seeks to present Christian heroism — where men follow the example of their Savior Jesus Christ by giving themselves for the weaker. This begins at the heart. As the main character of our story has to discover, men have to acknowledge Christ’s Lordship over them in order to fight for justice over vengeance.

Here’s a teaser. If the acting in the pilot is this bad, this is all the Jimmy Valiant you’ll ever see.

Jimmy Valiant: Scions of Danger Full-Length Trailer 1 from NDFilmmaker on Vimeo.


BTW, if you search for “Jimmy Valiant,” you’re likely to get the 60′s professional wrestler:

I would prefer a show starring this guy.

  • Simon

    Look forward to it! Battlestar galatica was based round mormon themes so just because a show follows a set of values does not automatically make it lame.

    • http://ohmatron.wordpress.com/ Custador

      No, but I have a high degree of confidence that this one is going to suck balls!

      • WarbVIII

        Original BSG was not by any means a quality program,and the second also got convoluted and silly,although better than the original. I don’t suppose you actually saw the original BSG movie in the theatre Simon..or know the fact that they hastily changed names and themes so as not to infinge on the copyrights of Star Wars that came out about 7-9 months before it was released if you do/did my appologies. If you did not imagine the same special effects quality on a movie screen as opposed to a tv screen…damn it sucked, though I still like the Viper design vs the X-Wing..even though niether had any business in space,granted the Cylon ship almost made sense(the raider/fighter…don’t think the original had a name for them). Yet no the basis for it’s crapoala wasn’t a reason to dismiss it the execution was(yet how the 12 tribes etc was really based on a Mormon ideal I sure as hell never saw it heck more seemed to have been based on a Hellenistic/Eygiptian theology then a Mormon… hell consider Boomer was a black man, that ain’t very Mormon at the time ya know.), anyway even though the creators might suggest it was Mormon in basis the results on screen were not at all…

        • Pen

          Nerds,

          Who told you that Battlestar Galactica doesn’t suck!? Look, at this time, let’s all turn off our televisions and Internet devices, and go outside. Sit and listen to the sounds of nature, run up and down the block, do some friggin’ thing other than cement your virginity by arguing, online, about “BSG”…Because it needed an acronym, of course.

          • WarbVIII

            actually I am to lazy to type the full name.

            • WarbVIII

              I am also probably somewhat of a nerd.

            • UrsaMinor

              A nerd? Here on UF? Say it isn’t so…

            • Vorjack

              Obviously our nerd filter has broken down. I’ll have to get Daniel to fix it.

            • http://lydiafromtexas.wordpress.com/ LRA

              I LOVE being a nerd! And also, the BSG from the 70s was awesome because I was 5 years old and I didn’t have refined taste at the time. I loved it. Still do. Cheese and all.

              I finally got around to watching the new BSG on netflicks. Meh.

            • http://lydiafromtexas.wordpress.com/ LRA

              Oh- and ps. I’m no virgin. Not by a long shot.

            • UrsaMinor

              Ni moi. Any virgins here? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

            • WarbVIII

              who said you were a vigin,lol…oh right Pen did…maybe he is since he brought it up…and Damn there is a Nerd filter now???

            • UrsaMinor

              If there were a nerd filter, this place would be silent as the grave.

            • Noelle

              Aw, there must a couple virgins on here. We do have a few young’uns. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

              Our nerd percentage though? Too high to bother calculating.

              Sadly, or gladly, no amount of sexual activity can undo the nerd within.

            • Michael

              I would like to speak out in defense of the new BSG. At least up until the last season, and aside from some of the times the religion got a little much (and also aside from that one computer hacking episode, which was supremely stupid), I thought it was an excellent series. Honestly, it’s my favorite sci fi series I have ever watched.

            • http://ohmatron.wordpress.com/ Custador

              I wouldn’t go that far, but I did really enjoy it. Except the obvious Sarah Palin character, who I wanted to punch in the head.

          • Michael

            Nerd,

            Who told you that trolling doesn’t suck!? Look, at this time, let’s all take off our troll tusks and coolfaces, and go outside. Sit and listen to the sounds of nature, run up and down the block, do some friggin’ thing other than cement your virginity by arguing, online, about “nerds” …Because it needed a term of art, of course.

          • Jabster

            ‘“BSG”…Because it needed an acronym, of course.’

            Now, now my poor little troll … if you had spent more time on your internet device instead of running up and down the block you would know that BSG is not an acronym.

          • Francesco

            I’m doing it while on the internet, i have those freaking sparrows nesting right over my windows

  • Baconsbud

    Wait aren’t most of those in Congress christians and they are cutting programs to help those in need? Now are christians suppose to be helping the weak or are they suppose to be helping to create more weak people?

  • WarbVIII

    Hell, I thought xtians LOVED Rocky and Rambo…were they both not about god and country(granted Rambo ‘rebelled’ but it was always suggested he rebelled against the ‘liberals’ and not conservatives even though it WAS Nixon whom hung the vetrans of ‘Nam out to dry as well as those serving) is it possible I missed something about every single re-occuring Stallone role? I mean didn’t Reagan praise him quite a bit, seriously am I missing something?

  • http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/ Andrew Hall

    I can’t wait to see Jimmy heroically turn the other cheek and wait patiently for divine retribution for his enemies in the afterlife.

  • trj

    Hamming it up for the Lord.

  • UrsaMinor

    The name is Bland. James Bland.

    • http://lydiafromtexas.wordpress.com/ LRA

      LOL!

  • Marge

    Do keep us updated if this does become a series, because the explicit gay pornographic fanfiction for it is going to be Epic. Hell, even if only the pilot gets national tv airing I’d lay odds on there being at least a Kink Meme (TV tropes if you don’t know what a Kink Meme is: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KinkMeme ).

    Also I’d swear I’d seen the lead in other bad movies, but IMDB gives this as his first role. Very familiar looking face.

    • Francesco

      Amnesia The Dark Descent got a kink meme? What the hell….

  • WarbVIII

    umm don’t you know us white guys look alike? Seriously, it’s easier for me to tell apart any other race. Not to mention almost all white guys who make it in acting have 1-3 virtual look alikes. I wish I was kidding,starting to think caucasions are too inbred(before you give me crap I am one), though it would explain quite a bit if true.

    • http://theascendancymemoirs.blogspot.com/ wazza

      like redheads, and blue eyes

      • WarbVIII

        love redheads but prefer green eyes…but ya know I am willing to accept fakes,for sex anyway.

        • Noelle

          Fake eyes or hair?

          • WarbVIII

            kind of ment fake color like hair dye and contacts

  • TrickQuestion

    Where’s our Atheist action hero?
    “He believes in Justice. he believes in himself. he believes in No God. Coming this fall..THE DISBELIEVER!”

    • FO

      LOOOOL!! ^^

  • JT

    Two questions: The hero has a bit of the gay voice about him, no? And who is the guy on the poster art? That guy looks nothing like the hero in the trailer.

    • http://theskippyreview.wordpress.com Skippy

      I bet the hero has to defeat the man inside him.

  • FO

    As the ÜberNerd I am, I am an avid Exalted player.
    Most players tend to play perfect characters, but after all these years wasted on PBPs, I found that characters that are less than perfect, maybe obnoxious, maybe ridiculously conflicted are far, far more entertaining, more human and keep me interested for longer.

    Creating flaws that still allow the hero to be heroic is a challenge in itself, but the only challenge I see for this guy is whether to follow the Word of God or not (ha!) or whether believe this or that interpretation.
    Dunno, I’m just not convinced, but maybe I’m just being too intellectual.

    • Michael

      It is against Christians’ moral code to admit flaws in any of their heroes. That’s why they invented things like the sinlessness of Jesus, the inerrancy of the Bible, the immaculate conception of Mary, Christian exceptionalism, and so on.

    • Francesco

      Chaotic neutral all the way!

      • WarbVIII

        Well in D&D that is the way to play it safe or crazy..or really anyway you want to play it.

        • Francesco

          blowing things up is the perfect way to play chaotic nautral

          • http://ohmatron.wordpress.com/ Custador

            So God is an RPGer… Suddenly it’s all so clear!

            • Michael

              Pretty sure he’s a LARPer

            • UrsaMinor

              I’m pretty sure he cheats.

            • Jabster

              He would certainly seem to be a sore loser …

  • Malvond

    Good thing they got rid of the lust. At least violence is still okay!

  • Josh Stewart

    Where’s Kirk Cameron? Why inst he starring?

  • vasaroti

    (imagines fundie staring at poster trying to work out what “scion” means)

    • TrickQuestion

      That some sort of namby pamby for-een pastry?

      • UrsaMinor

        Actually, it’s a Toyota model, and they’re not meant to be eaten.

  • Ebon Badger

    Good grief, that was hilarious! I can imagine it getting a cult following, for all the wrong reasons :D

  • http://atipplingphilosopher.yolasite.com Jonathan M.S. Pearce

    Sweet Cosmos, that looks like the worst idea and execution of a badly thought-out TV idea the world has ever seen. It is TERRIBLE!

  • ironflange

    Coming February 2011? I must have blinked.

  • http://theskippyreview.wordpress.com Skippy

    Holy crap.

  • Tim

    “I never discuss urgent life and death business until after *I* have tasted some tequilla.”

    Me too.


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