Comet Elenin

We’ve already seen Preacher Paul Begley go into hysterics over Comet Elenin. Now our favorite prophet from the Adirondacks, William Tapley, has written a song all about the ball of ice:

Merciful Moloch, that hurt. Anybody want to test their autotune skills on this?

Via American Jesus, who I’ll forgive … eventually.

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  • Custador

    How is William Tapley not institutionalised yet?

    • Noelle

      Things haven’t been the same around here since deinstitutionalization.

  • UrsaMinor

    Um, can somebody tell me why Tapley has chosen Comet Elenin, out of all the comets in the Solar System, as a sign of the End Times? Its closest approach is going to be about thirty-five million kilometers from us in October. It’s not supposed to be brighter than the 6th magnitude, which means that anyone who is over 40 or otherwise has less than perfect vision is not going to be able to see it without instruments.

    I mean, c’mon. It’s the friggin’ end of the world. I’d expect a more spectacular light show. Or maybe God is playing it low-key because he enjoys frying sinners in Hell and doesn’t really want us to know in advance so we can repent?

    • trj

      Elenin is a crackpot attractor. For some reason it obtained some fame in the kookosphere, which of course just acted to attract still more kooks, the stupidity thus steadily fueling itself. Tapley is just one of the crazies wallowing in it.

      • UrsaMinor

        What? Did everybody get tired of Nibiru already? Tsk, tsk, it’s not supposed to hit us until 2012, it’s not like the deadline for that particular apocalypse has come and gone. I tell you, the fringe crowd has a bad collective case of ADHD.

        Oh, well. At least Hoagland is consistent at pushing his conspiracy theories about the Face on Mars.

    • orange peko

      I think the story now is that Elenin is an object that is being pushed or carried with Nibiru

  • messiestobjects

    I like that little swish he does when he talks about being Jesus’ Bride. Snicker.

    • messiestobjects

      Which of course comes after the part about getting hammered hard. Snork.

      • WMDKitty
        • messiestobjects

          I snickered. I snorked. I see no problem with reacting all Freudian juvenile to Tapely. He just, you know, hammers my funny bone pretty hard.

          • WMDKitty

            Yeah, wasn’t this the guy who was on Anderson Cooper, pointing out horrible evil phallic symbols all over the damn place?

            • WMDKitty

              *checks link*

              Nevermind, the answer is YES.

            • messiestobjects

              You mean he was ON Anderson Cooper, pulling out phallic instances all over the place? Jeepers.

            • WMDKitty

              Yup. Freud would love this guy.

        • orange peko

          thats what she said. hehehe

  • Geir

    Singsongers for Jesus/God
    Holy macarony. Christians believers in general, and those christian singsongers in particular (I cant make myself to call them musicians) all have this overstated happiness attached to them – or smeared over themself – as a visual proof of their inner joy. Hell – Tapley singsongs about the end of the world and this he seems quite happy about. Its damn stupid – but creepy as hell.

    Here is some sincere christian joy and laughter: meet Alf and Gina, Swedish singsongers for Jesus – sharing the divine joy and laughter they feel while singsonging “The oil of gladness” (A song about beeing filed with Jesus – and the enourmes joy/love etc they feel) Wow. Enjoy.

    • WMDKitty

      You’ve noticed that, too? *shudders* It’s like… a manufactured happiness. It’s not real.

  • Jing-Reed

    Now it is time to meet William Tapley The ASTRONOMER, who claims that the comet Elenin shows up in the book of Revelations.

    This clip is from July when he first jumped aboard the good ship Lollypop, aka Elenin the Destroyer [and in the process decided that the Russian, Leonid Elenin, after whom the comet was named, was fictitious.]

    Russian language news broadcast with Leonid Elenin, in a feature they call ‘Kосмических истерии’, Cosmic Hysteria.

  • TrickQuestion

    does anyone else want to put the Keyboard Cat music to this?

  • Jerdog

    Boy was that D.U.M.B.

    • orange peko

      I’ve still got a kool aid hangover

  • Bacopa

    We need to keep an eye on this guy. You remember what happened last time a white-haired man became obsessed about a comet.

  • Igor

    I wonder who does his scenery…those cheesy cardboard cutouts are new. But his taste in shirts is still lousy. And his edits are as sloppy and nonsensical as ever.

  • Richard broome

    Hay peeps.. I like this topic, as I’ve been watching the approach of this for over 3years..
    First I must explain I’m not a scientist. Just an every day fella,living on the south coast of England..i was watching this comet Elenin thro a NASA telescope until feb 2011. As it was on a direct approach to our inner solar system, it was shut down by NASA..check it out.. this comet approached pluto started to wobble..
    Two of uranus moons, ice giants melted..
    The rings around Saturn disappeared
    And jupiters bands that we have all seen many times, have all moved to it’s northern pole…

    This small comet cannot be responsible for these things happening..ITS MASS IS NOT GREAT ENOUGH..ther is something much greater lurking behind this comet.Elenin..
    This comet is very unusual as it’s towing a dark star,, yes folks NIBIRU…fact…

    It’s been hear before and will come back again in the future.. If you check it out you can sort out your own lives.. Try to save yourselves it’s up to you what you do.. If you can’t see it in the sky yet coming from the direction of the sun.. Then you will within the next few days as it’s just about to be slingshot back into space from the suns gravitational force.. Hope you all realise that this time in creation is so important to our spiritual rebuilding as human beings..
    Richard Broome…………

    • TrickQuestion


    • Jerdog

      What can a Muppet do about it?

    • UrsaMinor

      Good to hear that not everyone has forgotten Nibiru.

    • trj


    • Agathos

      “it’s towing a dark star”… WTF???

      • UrsaMinor

        Well, it makes sense that it could tow a star, because its mass is not great enough to have an effect on the planets. Eminently logical.

    • Olaf

      I hope this guy is locked up in a mental institute.

    • orange peko

      i could see the star pushing it but no flippin way is a comet going to tow anything bigger than a couple 100 cubic yards or so

    • Fred

      Your “facts” are completely wrong and you present no evidence. You admit you are not a scientist, so I must assume you are easily fooled by people who claim such crazy things. I am an engineer with a strong background in the physical sciences and a very active amateur astronomer. I understand what is happening “out there” and it’s not the drivel you wrote.
      – Pluto did NOT start to wobble because of Comet Elenin. It hasn’t changed one bit.
      – Uranus’s moons are just fine. NO melting, etc.
      – The rings around Saturn have NOT disappeared. I saw them numerous times in my 8″ telescope all through the summer and as recently as the end of September durng twilight. The rings looks like they always do.
      – I looked a Jupiter in my 8″ scope last weekend. The atmospheric bands are in the normal locations. They haven’t moved.

      Elinin is just a run-of-the-mill comet and Nibiru doesn’t exist. If there was a massive object this close, the disruption to the solar system would have been evident long before, yet nothing is amiss. NOTHING.

      How could a low mass object (as you agree about Comet Elenin) tow a dark star? What is the mechanism? You obviously wouldn’t know because it is physically impossible. This is not tug boat and oil tanker. This is many orders of magnitude different.

      It is now Ocboter 9 and NONE of the disater you internet dweebs have predicted for the end of September occurred, nor will anything bad happen because of Elenin in the future.

      • UrsaMinor

        Actually checking to see if Saturn’s rings are still there, with your own eyes, in realtime? That’s crazy talk! No self-respecting conspiracy theorist is ever going to want to play with you again after this shocking display of common sense. You will be a pariah in the tinfoil-hat circles.

        • Jabster

          Either he’s a plant or they painted the rings on the end of his telescope …

          • Fred

            Saturn is too near conjunction with the Sun to be visible right now, but hook yourself up with a good amateur astronomy club next spring and see for yourself. I find it amusing and a bit sad how so many people will believe the hoaxers (who have no experience, expertise, credentials, or credibility on these and many other topics) and yet claim nothing but lies from the people who actually know about such things.

        • Yoav

          Reminds me of this old Israeli comedy sketch where a guy calls his friend to tell him about hearing that the labor union building was burned to the ground the previous night. He then go on and on about it while refusing to listen to his friend telling him the building is still there and to just open the window and look.

  • orange peko

    I’m prety sure this guys right on the money with this one. (sarcasm)