Jesus Watches

The Jesus Conspiracy
Romance at Mars Hill
Kaiju Jesus
Being Agent Scully
  • Reginald Selkirk

    Excellent response to an obviously fictional account.

    • Andy Breeden

      That’s exactly what I was thinking, Reginald.

  • Andrew

    This was a John Michael Montgomery song 10 years ago, it’s the exact same story. I hated the story (and song) then, and it still irritates me.

  • Axaj
  • vasaroti

    That song deserves the Patton Oswalt treatment:

  • JT

    So Jesus looks exactly like the cheap statuette in the church? How amazingly coincidental.

  • Custador

    Much the same as the “If Earth was 10 feet closer to the Sun we’d all boil and if it was 10 feet further out we’ll all freeze, ZOMG, I can’t be bothered to Google this to check, but it must be true because like God and stuff!”. Bullshitters gonna bullshit.

  • Noelle

    and what kinda Sunday school teacher is all, “That guy? He never got off no cross.”

    • TrickQuestion

      Backwoods southern US?

  • James M. Martin

    This scenario goes to the argument from evil, embraced and adumbrated by the classical scholars and taken up by such moderns as the Australian philosopher John Leslie Mackie. Basically, it says that if God knew a person was about to commit murder on a relatively innocent human, and if God had the power to prevent it but did nothing, there is a logical fallacy involved. An all-powerful good God would cause the pistol to misfire, or there is an old friend knocking on the door, whatever. The point is, even if the all powerful good god gave man the choice of good or evil, the god could have made sure that we would always choose the former. Hence, no god.

  • SisyphusRocks

    And the little girl told the teacher that she asked Jesus: Do you think they should deserve to die?
    and he responded: Yes, they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!

    • FO

      But don’t worry, people tortured for eternity is all part of God’s plan!

  • Jasen

    I got that spam. Except the whole thing was in CAPS.

  • Phil H

    Yes, one of the stickiest points for many athiests does seem to be the paradox of an all-powerful god who lets things happen that are painful, miserable, frightening, and downright hellish and excruciating. In fact, I think that contradiction creates a lot of athiests. If you are a Christian, you must somehow have gotten past this paradox.

    Some of my Christian friends engage in doublethink (God is all-powerful on the one hand, and God is with you in your suffering – as if that suffering were somehow outside both of you – on the other hand), and they seem to get by simply because they just don’t think about the gulf between those two notions of God. Others tend to identify with Jesus Christ as a kind of interlocutor between God (impossibly vast and inpenetrable) and fallible man. That human side of God as represented by Christ was one of the things I found most fetching about Christianity when I attended church years ago – the notion of a God who is at the same time wholly human, and is so deeply kind, understanding, and present, as only one who suffered on the cross could be.

    I’ve rarely seen the divide between believers and athiests on this particular sticking point presented as succinctly as in those three Facebook comments. Fascinating.

    • Nathan

      The truth is he would be doing just as he taught: not to resist an evil person. It’s strange to me that neither Christian nor Atheist can grasp that concept or the reasoning behind it. Jesus got it. Gandhi got it. Martin Luther King got it. But most people just don’t get it. You can never fight evil with evil. History proves it time and again.

      I agree with your sentiments. Just thought I’d add my own take.

      • Tex

        You dont seem to understand your examples. Gandhi, M.L. King, and the biblical Jesus all acted against the evil they saw in the world, they just didnt do it with violence. If Jesus (AKA all powerful god) was really there and wanted to protect the girl he could very easily have made it so the gun wasnt loaded, jamed, or turned it into a dove or any number of other non-evil ways of fighting the evil in that girls life. You may not have to resort to evil to fight evil, but you usually do have to do something.

        • Nathan

          You’re asking for miracles, not reality. If you believe Jesus actually did the miracles listed in the Bible, well, I don’t know what else to say then.

      • trj

        Choosing not to act can be evil in itself. Anyway, what Tex said.

        • Nathan

          That’s actually contrary to the teaching and the reasoning behind it. Jesus was a good teacher, I believe he meant what he said, which was “not to resist an evil person.” He didn’t say “sometimes you just have to do something.”

          If space permitted, I would explain more. But if you’re interested read “What I believe” by Leo Tolstoy. It’s the same book Gandhi and others I mentioned derived many of their beliefs from.

  • RebeccaESF

    I would have commented “What a terrible story. Pretty much as bad as the Abraham and Isaac story.”

  • T

    I follow a friend of a friend on facebook who calls herself a prophet. I’m not sure why, other than that it’s sickly fascinating. Maybe it’s like reading a good ghost story.
    She and her followers are the sort that can’t wait for wars in the middle east, the demise of the U.S., etc. Scary, scary shit. She posts a lot of ‘news’ articles from christian websites. One of them was about the impending war between Israel and Iran, how it was pretty much inevitable, and one of her chronies replied “yay”, and that Iran has been asking for it for a long time and had it coming to them.
    Another of her followers on a different post talked about how her former church used to practice child sacrifice daily. Thankfully she no longer attends that church. She got out, praise jeebus. WTF???
    I do shudder to think that people like this want to run the country.

  • Malena

    Cheese-ville overloaded with cheddar and jack. These tacky little sayings and quotes and stories irritate me almost as much as the wackos themselves.