This is, unfortunately, true.

Our Daily Bread
Bob Cargill on the Holy Grail
Where the Fire Comes From
Romance at Mars Hill
  • Julie42

    I think it’s safe to assume that the first chapter of Genesis is the most frequently read part of the Bible.
    You kind of get bored after that…

    • Custador

      I laughed :D

    • TrickQuestion

      I generally only read the important parts…you know…the Begats…

  • Spirula

    And it’s even easier if that one book is read by your pastor and interpreted for you so you don’t have to try to figure out all that archaic crap.

  • Baconsbud

    Spirula beat me to the main way the bible is read. I would say it is easier to read anything other then the bible. I have tried several times and usually fall asleep before I get more then 40 or 50 verses read.

    • Custador

      I’ve read the KJV, the NIV and the NAB.

      I can’t say any of them is more or less thrilling that the others.

      • Framtonm

        You read all those versions! When does your Counselling start?

      • Len

        Did you sneak a peak at the last chapter to see whodunnit?

        • Custador

          The Romans, in the drawing room, with the candle-stick.

          • Grosse moustache

            Guys, if you think reading the Bible is hard, try reading the Quran for fun…at the least the Bible has fables (what do they call them, parables?). The Quran is 600 pages of “the unbelievers will spend the eternity being burned by flames and drinking boiling water. But Allah is good and forgiving”.

            I just finished it recently (yeah, I’m crazy), and it was the most boring, repetitive, redundant, appalling book I ever read. It took me more than one year to read because I couldn’t read more than 4-5 pages a day, it was too painful.

            Why did I do that? I’ve travelled quite a bit to Muslim countries, had conversations with Muslims, and was tired of being told “well, you don’t understand, it’s in the Quran, blablabla”…

            Next in line, any suggestions? Bible? Torah? Going Rogue?

            • Custador

              Really bring the torture next time – Try Dianetics ;-)

            • Noelle

              If you’re a true masochist, you’ll pick up the Twilight series.

            • UrsaMinor

              Only a true sadist would suggest that.

            • Noelle


            • L.W. Brown

              The Urantia “revelations” are a good choice: boring, repetitive and /dramatically/ long…

  • Albert Ip

    I have tried to read the bible – because of a bet.

    It was difficult reading but I am now a confirmed atheist.

  • Justice Gustin

    For me to read the bible would be like:

    -jabbing my eye out with a rusty nail.

    -shoving a red-hot icepick through the side of my head.

    -ripping my toenails off with pliers.

    -dipping my head in acetone and setting it ablaze.

    It’s just not something I particularly want to do.

  • Paul D.

    While the picture is amusing, someone on Reddit pointed out that Sarah Palin actually believes in evolution.

    • Jabster

      There’s one hell of a difference between believing in evolution and not being a creationist. Pretty much everything I’ve seen (not that I’ve tried much more than google) about Palin points to her views being YEC based. Have you got any links which point to a differenet view?

    • vasaroti

      Perhaps she could tell us when the power to cast spells evolved in our species.
      She went along with the notion that witches exist and can hurt other people with magic by her association with a church and an infamous preacher (Thomas Muthee) that hold those beliefs. No reporter has ever called her out on this, and it annoys the snot out of me.

    • Nox

      According to page 217 of her book Going Rogue, Palin believes in what she (not she obviously, her ghost writer but she put her name on the book) refers to as “microevolution”.

      “I believed in the evidence for microevolution-that geologic and species change occurs incrementally over time. But I didn’t believe in the theory that human beings-thinking, loving, human beings-originated from fish that sprouted legs and crawled out of the sea. Or that human beings began as single-celled organisms that developed into monkeys who eventually swung down from the trees; I believed we came about through a random process, but were created by God.”

      “I believe that God created us and also that He can create an evolutionary process that allows species to change and adapt.”

      This is a form of creationism. Not necessarily YEC, but using Kent Hovind’s definition of evolution justifies putting her in a dinosaur meme.

  • slantrhyme

    Shouldn’t the caption read:

    “Because it’s easier to pretend to read one book than a bunch of hard ones”

    Just saying….

    • Custador

      You make a very good point!

  • PsiCop

    The caption assumes people who believe in Creationism have actually read that “one book.” In my experience, discussing the Bible with believers of various sorts, I’ve found that nearly all of them have read it only in spotty fashion. They aren’t familiar with most of it, let alone the whole thing. Their understanding of the Bible comes more or less from what other people (i.e. their preachers) have told them it says. They can locate chapter and verse citations, and they might be able to recall a handful of passages, but they really aren’t conversant with its contents.

    As a matter of fact, I have to wonder how much some of those preachers really know about the Bible. I suspect many of them simply regurgitate what they were taught about it in their Bible colleges, rather than having read and digested it fully themselves.

    That said, I can’t really say that I blame them. At its best, the Bible is hideously dry reading, and it’s dense. At its worst, it’s quite unbearable. Unfortunately this is not improved by learning the original languages and moving away from translations; most of the New Testament, for example, is in extremely pedestrian Greek. As literature, it leaves a great deal to be desired.

    • TheoryofI

      I doubt few people actually read the bible now. With the advent of searchable digitized bible databases there is no longer any need. If you want to seem formidably knowledgeable, all you really need is the right software.

      For example:
      The QuickVerse SermonBuilder — promises “Everything you need to build amazing sermons! Illustrations, quotations, and trivia are all accessible by topic, Bible verse, or even specific words and phrases. Find what you need to fit your message, print it or copy it directly to your word processor.”

      Just cut and paste your way to biblical brilliance!

      • TheoryofI

        Should have begun with… I doubt more than a few… >Gulp<

  • Morpheus91

    I for one found The Greatest Show on Earth, and The Selfish Gene, to be more entertaining than the bible. ^_^

    • Custador

      HAHAHAHA! I finally managed to catch one of your posts in the filter to tell it to stop marking you as spam! It’s only taken a day and a half :D

      • Morpheus91

        *dance of victory* You, sir, shall have all of my cookies in gratitude. :D

        • Custador

          *high five*

  • Igor

    A priest friend of mine once said, “If you went all the way through the seminary, and came out still believing in God, you weren’t paying attention.”

    Clever, that.

  • April Webb

    Is that Sara Palin?

  • Will Sloan

    I really think “read” should be used carefully when speaking of the Bible. For the majority, exposure is limited to what is read and interpreted to them by their pastor, gleaning out-of-context verses as they’re cited, or within a carefully structured devotional guide. Polls show that while 92% of Americans own a Bible only 59% read occasionally (52 minutes or less per week) and less than 20% have read the Bible from cover to cover. I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say Sarah Palin isn’t in the 20% group.