Michele Bachman, just not getting it. Repeatedly.

Bachman is so obtuse here, it’s just staggering – She goes to great pains to say that everybody has that same civil rights, and nobody should have extra privileges based on their sexuality. She then goes on to say that this equality of rights means that heterosexuals should be allowed to marry the people they love, and that homosexuals should also be allowed to marry the people they might love if they were heterosexual. That’s equality, apparently.

Way to grasp the subtle nuances of that situation, Michelle. Really.

I only caught the follow-up construction of a giant straw-man about how the world was largely built of Mom’s Apple Pie and Happiness back in the days when prayer was allowed in school when I watched the video through a second time, because the first time around I fell off of my chair laughing when I realised that she was using this quote as an argument against central government involvement in schools:

“When I was growing up here in Iowa, there was no federal department of education, we didn’t even have a federal department of education until the late 1970s…

Yes, Michele. And look what an academically gifted, broad-minded, well-rounded, intellectual lady the school system you grew up under hasn’t produced.

Seriously, this is a contender for the presidential race? Colour me frightened, America.

Bob Cargill on the Holy Grail
Where the Fire Comes From
You Can't Keep a Bad Man Down
Atheists in the Evangelical Mind
  • http://www.NoYourGod.com NoYourGod

    And keep in mind that back in her nirvana-ish days of yore, blacks had equal rights, too… Blacks had just as much of a right as whites had to sit in a bus – as long as they sat in back. And blacks had the same rights to sit at soda fountains, too – as long as they sat behind the building on the rocks by the trash bins and left the comfy chairs to the whites.

    See – per Bachman everybody has always had the same rights!

  • Miles R.

    Spelling: “Michele” (with one “l”), not “Michelle.”

    • Custador


  • UrsaMinor

    Pity us poor Americans, and rejoice in your Britishness.

    • Custador

      It’s our national motto: “We may be shit and living in a shit-hole, but at least we don’t believe some of the shit the Yanks do!”

      • http://themikewrites.blogspot.com JohnMWhite

        Oh, we do, it’s just that the folk who believe that sort of thing tend to not try to become Prime Minister. Well, Dave did campaign against the repeal of section 28, but he says he has mended his ways. Mostly it’s just the bishops and a few fearful Catholic busybodies who are moaning about the idea of letting the gays marry at the moment.

      • Michael

        You may believe in different nonsense, but it’s still nonsense. I hear homeopathy is really big there, for instance. And you don’t see many Americans believing in crop circles or fairies.

        And while you may have fewer people who think Jesus will cry if they use condoms, you have many more who think Allah will get angry if they draw pictures of Muhammad.

        • Custador

          Uh… Homeopathy is fringe at best, generally believed in by hippy types, and I’ve never met anybody who believes crop circles are supernatural or that fairies exist… Not sure where those rumours have come from :-\

          Oh, also: About 3% of the UK are Muslims. Sadly, about 33% are fucking idiots who read the Daily Mail and actually believe all that Teh Moooslums r teking over!!!111!!!ELEVENTYONE!!!” crap that they peddle.

        • FO

          You forgot the greatest abomination of them all, the reason I shall never stomp my feet again on British soil: carpets in the toilette.
          **lightning explodes outside the window, black crows fly away, scared by a horror we can barely fathom..

          • Custador

            My toilet has a linoleum floor, you’re welcome to come visit ;-)

  • RJ

    “Nobody should have extra privileges based on their sexuality.”

    But don’t heterosexuals currently have extra privileges based on their sexuality??

    Besides, taking her line of thought that one extra step she unsurprisingly overlooked, passing marriage equality wouldn’t be giving gays an extra privilege because any straight person would then also have the option to marry someone of the same gender extended to them as well. So where’s the extra privilege?

    • http://themikewrites.blogspot.com JohnMWhite

      The extra privilege is doing something that she doesn’t think people should be doing. That’s it. It is stupefyingly simply – she thinks since gay people *can* marry someone of the opposite sex, to ask that they be allowed to marry whom they love is to ask for something extra compared to those poor heterosexual people, who can only marry who they love and are not allowed to marry someone of the same sex that they aren’t interested in.

      And that tight little circle of fail is so obviously ridiculous that it can be tricky to even know what she means.

  • http://www.tinstag.com tiNstAg

    I admit this woman frightens the crap out of me. She would have the country turned into a xtian theocracy as fast as she possibly could. The fact that she has any followers at all, let alone TV stations that seem to hang on her ignorant diatribe, is quite disturbing. Thankfully, I don’t think she is a realistic contender in the Presidential race, but then this is America, and the GOP seem to be content on fielding even more bizarre candidate than usual, so perhaps she”ll be the last person standing and end up representing them! It’s enough to keep the sane awake at night.

    • FO

      Popular, nonviable candidates shift the electorate and the political attitude anyway.

  • joe

    Conservatives crave certainty not truth. Church going people like Michele want to be good and want you to think they are better than their reality demonstrates they are in fact. There is a psychological effect called the Dunning-Kruger effect. Michele will never believe her popularity has more to do with this effect than with her policies and politics and nobody close to her has the nerve to tell her she is making a fool out of her self and her followeres.

  • The Other Tom

    I hope you don’t think she actually *believes* that shit she is spouting. I thought it was pretty obvious that she just hates gay people and is spouting the party-line excuse that she believes will allow her to get away with discrimination without the discrimination being declared unconstitutional. I doubt she even thinks judges will believe it, but rather that they’ll agree with her desire to discriminate so all she has to do is provide them with a tissue of excuses to allow them to cover their own bigotry. (Don’t know if she’s right, but I bet that’s what she thinks.)

    Of course, I think she may actually be mentally ill – her pronouncements and behavior remind me of paranoid schizophrenics I’ve known – but that’s just an opinion too.

    • Melody

      Agreed. The “Crazy Eyes” headshot was spot on.

      • Schaden Freud

        Headshot. Now there’s an idea…

    • FO

      I don’t think she is conscious about this, about her lack of consistency.
      She does not strike me as a person who spends a lot of time reviewing her ideas.

      • UrsaMinor

        I have detected no hint that she ever engages in critical self-examination.

  • Noelle

    Every time Michelle opens her mouth she makes herself look stupider. Even when stupider shouldn’t be possible. Yes, many of our politicians are C students and basically dangerous idiots


    Otto: Don’t call me stupid.

    Wendy: Why on earth not?

    Otto: Oh, you English are *so* superior, aren’t you? Well, would you like to know what you’d be without us, the good ol’ U.S. of A. to protect you? I’ll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that’s what! So don’t call me stupid, lady. Just thank me.

    Wendy: Well, *thank* you for popping in and protecting us.

    Otto: If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking *German!*

  • Nathan

    “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full” ~Jesus

    “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.” ~Jesus

    If the Christians were truly following Jesus, they would teach their children exactly what Jesus taught. In other words….prayer doesn’t belong in the lunchroom. Unfortunately, they choose to follow their blind leaders like sheep, and then teach (brainwash) the next generation to do the same.

    • FO

      If the Christians were truly following Jesus they would be stuck in the conundrums of his contradictory teachings and would end up doing nothing at all.
      Faith teaches cherry-picking, because it is the only practical approach.

  • Thin-ice

    What frightens me is not Bachmann here in this video, it is the ignorant a55holes who are clapping in the background every time she makes praises bigotry and homophobia. That there are Americans who support her redneck intolerance should make us all wonder where we went wrong as a nation . . . or maybe there has always been a portion of the population like this.

  • FO

    Sometimes I feel utterly disconnected by the way other people think.
    We end up arguing about grammar…
    We just can’t understand each other.

    I just feel like the way logic builds up in their brain is utterly broken, it seems to obvious to me that I am right, then a third opinion agrees with THEM and I still can’t see my error nor a way to convince them and feel stupid for continuing to argue trivial matters and I feel either I’m fucking stupid either I am utterly disconnected from other people, either other people are fucking stupid and of these three I don’t know which makes me feel best.

    • UrsaMinor

      Logical thinking is something that simply doesn’t come naturally to our species. It is a learned skill. Most people are content to function on untested assumptions and faulty inferences, as long as they can get by with these in their daily lives. And they usually cannot see their own cognitive biases and so think that they’re being quite rational.

      You cannot convince someone who is using an entirely different method of truth assessment that your logical conclusion is correct- at least, not if you present it to them logically. You might be able to get them to accept your point as true if you cheat and appeal to their emotions or resort to using seductive logical fallacies- in other words, meet them on their home mental turf. But just thinking about this approach makes me feel dirty.

      I try to chip away at the faulty thinking first rather than immediately ram home the actual point of the argument. It’s a matter of showing your debate opponent where the hidden assumptions in his own arguments lie, and getting him to realize some of the larger implications (especially any internal contradictions).

  • Ang

    I’ve found this one making the rounds on Facebook, and I personally really enjoyed it. http://youtu.be/2K8CGeC2M_U Elijah is a little bit my hero, even though it looks like his mom may have put him up to it.

  • Jay

    Okay, libtards: this is pretty straightforward. Americans’ civil rights are as follows: those rights enumerated in the King James version of the Bible, *except* where those rights conflict with (1) polling data, (2) Heritage Foundation white papers, or (3) ad hoc voice-in-head counsel. Look it up. It’s all right there in our establishing document, the Declaration of Independence.

    • Custador

      Are you really that fucking stupid that you think the Declaration of Independence is based on Biblical values? Wow. Just fucking WOW. Please tell me you’re trolling?

      • Yoav

        I think you missed a poe on this one.

        • Custador

          I honestly and sincerely hope so!

    • Jay

      You did miss a poe. I fear Mrs. B. has recalibrated your crazy meter.

  • Jake

    I never understood what people meant when they said homosexuals want extra rights. If you look at it through Michelle’s warped mind, allowing same sex marriage would be an extra right because then homosexuals would be allowed to marry the same AND opposite sex…see? More rights. What a retard.

  • RebeccaESF

    I have to hand it to the kids who kept questioning/challenging Bachman, even when all those other folks were applauding Bachman’s godawful BS answers. Kudos to the kiddos I say!

  • joe

    If you watch all of these candidates you can learn a lot. Michele just does not get it and as a result few follow her lead. Look at Newt though. He married his school teacher to avoid military service. He has hishonored more than one marriage. He dishonored his position as speaker of the house. He lobbied congress on behalf of a major insurance company for death panels. He is a political hack pushing spaghetti on the wall ideas who stands for the quick buck and the easy way out and the republican rank and file resonate with him and he will end up with the nomination. Michele thinks it is about leadership. Newt knows it is about followership. Low standards. A good slogan. Zero expectations. Newt is showing every low life in America you can still get something for nothing. Michele wants too much. That is why conservatives love him.