Monumental Failure

Kirk Cameron makes a “Christian Nation” documentary. Yes, it’s as bad as you think …

Honestly, I’ve been sick this past week, so I don’t have the energy to pick this apart. I’ll leave it up to you. My only regret is that it’s probably too silly to garner any attention from more serious historians. I suspect you could write a book on the fallacies.

Via Jesus Needs New Pr.

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  • FO

    The Onion article is unavailable, so get this:

    I don’t really understand…
    “Our Families are Worth Fighting For”
    Who the fuck touching **YOUR** family!?!?!?

    This is just so retarded, so arrogantly oblivious…

    • UrsaMinor

      Well, isn’t that just great! Here the gays have been working quietly behind the scenes for decades to undermine the institution of marriage, only to have the credit for it go to the sharks.

    • Aussie Secular Dad

      I prefer another Onion article: Government To Defend Marriage From Dashing Reginald St. Croix, Esq.,1993/

  • Dave

    This is going to be a movie version of Pat Buchanan’s “Suicide of a Super Power”.

  • Josh Stewart

    He has SIX kids. I can’t wait to hear from them in the next 20 years.

    • Charles Corum

      That’s what’s frightening, he is going to brainwash his six kids, and turn them loose to continue the fundamentalist attack on the Age of Reason and the Enlightenment.

      • RickRay1

        Yeah, Kirk, Ray Comfort and Ken Hovind, oh hell, Ben Stein, why not? The 4 Christianeers ! They would love to return us to the Dark Ages when slavery, witch burning, gay bashing and women hating were the norm.

    • Noelle

      I’m one of six. One attends church regularly. One does not, but will say faith is still important to her. One is a hippie who doesn’t really believe anything, but does enjoy spiritual sounding stuff without actually being serious about it. 2 could care less, but will shrug and say they believe in god if asked (the youngest is coming around). And I don’t believe in anything.

      I’m guessing the Cameron kiddos will have their own mix.

  • trj

    “There’s nothing in today’s America that cannot be solved by a genuine going back to the American first principles”.

    I think he just summed up the ideology of the American right wing in its entirety. “Traditional values” are the cure-all of every conceivable societal problem. There’s nothing they can’t fix.

    No doubt it’ll also turn out that these “American first principles” rely heavily on using the Bible as a basis for making laws, never mind that the US Constitution says the opposite.

    • Ty

      That’s true, though. We could solve a lot of our economic problems through enslaving a quarter of our population and forcing them to work for nothing while we sold their children. We could go back to controlling our population through infant mortality and women dying in childbirth. We could get ourselves some ‘elbow room’ by expanding into territory other people live in and then just killing them. Canada has some stuff we might like.

      It’s brilliant.

      • DMG

        Watch it. Things didn’t go so well for you the last time you tried marching your way up here. ;)

        • Ty

          Sadly, we’ve spent the last 200 years dumping all our available cash into weapons, while you’ve spent that time developing your beer, comedy, and music technology. :)

          • Len

            So, not only have they spent their money more wisely than the US, they actually enjoyed themselves while doing it.

            • Ty


    • Francesco

      Reminds me a lot of the Roman Empire politic with the last emerors, while the rest of the Empire was crumbling, they sit there talking about “good old principles”,

  • erik

    So, all we have to do is ask some actors idiotic questions at a 17th century re-creation village, flip through the pages of a really old book, pray at dinner time with family, Then rebuild some monument, and then all our problems are solved…thanks Kirk.

  • LRA

    H8 Kirk Cameron.

  • messiestobjects

    Tagline: “Kirk Cameron is SICK of stuff! He embarks on a journey to stare pensively at stuff, and uncomprehendingly at people saying stuff. After not understanding anything from his journey, he will build a monument, because statues save souls. And Jesus.”

    • Mahousniper

      Other tagline: Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus. Jesus Jesus. Jesus Jesus Jesus.

  • Holytape

    ***Spoiler alert****

    The secret twist ending is that Kirk Cameron finds out that we are not a Christian Nation. He discovers that while the vast majority of the populace of the “United States” is Christian, the constitution and declaration of independence are fakes so we are not technically a country. We are the “Christian Colonies of Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.”

  • Robster

    When’s Kirk gonna don his red undies over a blue leotard with a red cape? And when he does, will a cell phone do for a phone booth? Hmm, better pray, no hang on, the movie does that.

  • Thin-ice

    The “disaster” this country is heading for is if every family had six kids like Kirk did. Irresponsible, selfish, and arrogant. If they all grow up as ignorant as Kirk, it makes America dumber.

  • Bertrand T Russell

    Every time I see this fool on my TV….. I want to throw something!!!! He’s so infuriatingly stupid, I want to scream! Where did his twisted mind come from?

  • SunshinEsBH

    Embarrassing story time…

    Back in the day when Kirk was a “teen idol” and was on that TV show of his, he was really popular in South Africa. I think that there was a group of us who would literally rush home to watch “Growing Pains”

    I remember the day when the Pastor told us that Kirk had found Jesus. Oh how God was going to use him to transform Hollywood and make TV more God orientated and blah blah blah…

    So we all (the church I was in at the time) prayed that God would use him mightily to spread His word to the unbelievers.

    Please accept my humble apologies for taking part in that prayer session.

    • Ty

      I can only assume that particular prayer was as effective as any other prayer.

      No harm, no foul.

  • vasaroti

    All this “back to the founding principles” stuff, no matter where it’s coming from, ignores one glaring difference between then and now: There were no huge corporations lobbying the Founding Fathers. Well, OK, maybe the triangle trade had a pretty strong lobby and a strong financial hold on some framers of the constitution.

  • Rechelle

    “You can SMELL the history!” Maybe that’s how he arrives at his conclusions?

  • Revyloution

    People often talk about going back to the founders. I often hear ‘If the Founding Fathers were here today, they would say X’.

    They are all wrong. I know exactly what they would say. If the Founding Fathers were transported forward in time, they would take one look at where the US is today and say ‘Holy Shit! Airplanes!!’

    • Ty

      Ben Franklin would be an xbox addict.

  • Ty


    • UrsaMinor

      When they’re vague enough that they apply to anyone just like a newspaper horoscope, that’s a pretty safe bet.

      Add the patented grammatical and punctuation errors, and the probability approaches unity.

    • Custador


  • Nox