Quantum Leap

Oh dear. Scott Bailey found this website, and it is truly absurd. It appears to be New Thought taken in a slightly different direction than we’re used to. Are you ready for better living through alternate dimensions? Welcome to Quantum Jumping:

For the most part it’s a standard “multiple worlds” hypothesis story, where every decision you make is made in a different way by an alternate you in another dimension. We’re all familiar with that sci-fi plot device, right?

That’s when it gets weird:

Welcome to the Infinite You.

Quantum Jumping is a visualization process where you use your mind to ‘jump’ into parallel dimensions, and gain creativity, knowledge, wisdom, skills and inspiration from alternate versions of yourself.

This happens through a phenomenon known as “thought transference.” You see, although the solidity of our world seems indisputable, Quantum Theory suggests that our physical reality is nothing but a very elaborate mirage. A super-hologram of information and energy. A Matrix.

From there we get New Thought taken to an extreme. It’s not just that the “law of attraction” will make your thoughts become reality. Instead, reality itself is nothing more than thought: “the substance of the universe, of your reality, may be nothing more than consciousness or thought.”

You can pretty much fill in the blanks from there. By using these special mental techniques, you can be richer, happier, healthier, etc.

  • Len

    By using these special mental techniques, you can be richer, happier, healthier, etc.

    … as long as you buy them from us.

    But it must work because it’s about quantums.

  • http://themikewrites.blogspot.com JohnMWhite

    I wonder if you can use thought transference to get the course material from an alternative version of you that already paid the $97…

  • UrsaMinor

    You can be healthier, happier, richer, more successful- but only at the expense of one of your quantum doubles that you have bumped from his own nice cushy timeline. Sounds ethically shady to me.

  • Isilzha

    But what if I jump into the world with the zombie version of myself? Or what if I’m in the universe with “average me” and 50% of the jumps I make are to crappier versions of myself? How is that suppose to help me?

    • Noelle

      Or what if the you that you are now is the best possible you and all these quantum jumps are suckier realities?

      • UrsaMinor

        Tout est pour le meilleur fin, dans ce meilleur de mondes possibles.

        Maybe M. Pangloss had it right?

  • vasaroti

    This isn’t essentially any sillier than anything Deepak Chopra says.

    • http://themikewrites.blogspot.com JohnMWhite

      Which is why Deepak Chopra is silly.

  • Brocasbrian

    what if the alternate you is a homeless drug addict and you bring a little of that back with you. Best to stay on the ground i think.

  • thread_of_fire

    there is a “79k” beside the facebook icon on that…is it supposed to mean that 79000 people like this from facebook? I can’t find a page on facebook that is quite so populated.

    • http://themikewrites.blogspot.com JohnMWhite

      I don’t believe you have to be a page member to like something, people tend to cross post stuff all over the place and eventually it racks up likes from everywhere.

  • Noelle

    If Dean Stockwell’s coming with me, I’m in. I hope the holographic technology’s been updated. Something sleek and HD with touch-screen. User-friendly, with iTunes and Angry Birds.

    • http://themikewrites.blogspot.com JohnMWhite

      Not iTunes. Even Ziggy wouldn’t be able to run iTunes without getting bogged down by that memory hogging nightmare of an application.

  • Woah

    If he could have chosen an alternate reality of himself, why did he chose to visit a photographer and a writer? Those jobs require a motivation but wouldn’t a cure for cancer or the location of the nearest alien life be more useful?

  • Azel

    Nah, they must have a secret and inviolable quantum rights management system to avoid this situation…Or their material is so crappy every alternate you who put its hands on it took an heavy dose of brain bleach.

    • Azel

      Damned mobile phone…it was a reply to JohnMWhite.

      • Len

        Or perhaps to his other self.

        • Azel

          Which one ?

  • Sue Blue

    You know, I could get the same effect from some shrooms or acid or a sensory deprivation tank at a fraction of the cost. Or…I could starve myself for a month and hallucinate for free!

  • Len

    Bugger, my other self just stole the really witty comment I wanted to make. But because he’s there and not here, we can’t even read it.

  • Woodwose

    If you are not happy with your present life does that mean you’ve been bumped from your proper wonderful Universe to this one by some other “you” in that other Universe using the equivalent program? Seems this suggests a multidimensional game of musical chairs where the slower or less determined copies get downgraded into worse and worse conditions.

  • Suzy

    In this form of course it’s hocuspocus, but the idea of quantum computers is based on building computers those can use the resources of other, parallel universes besides ours.

    “A quantum computer farms out computing problems to other universes in order to achieve tractability for solutions that otherwise get bogged down by exponentially increasing demands for more time and other computational resources. The apparent need on a realist conception of science to posit such collaboration inspires a pugnacious comment from Deutsch: “To those who still cling to a single-universe world-view, I issue this challenge: explain how Shor’s algorithm works.” The challenge is meant to imply that a Turing machine is incapable in principle of doing what a quantum computer can do, since the latter’s operations in executing Shor’s algorithm require computational resources from other worlds. And generally, a quantum computer’s operations include computational steps in other worlds that are not present in any Turing-machine’s tape (in this world). Deutsch thinks this has implications for proof theory, which must abandon the Cartesian model of an inspectable list of premises leading to a conclusion, in favor of a model of a process in which the relationship between premises and conclusion may be mediated by computations that are not inspectable (in this world).”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fabric_of_Reality#Quantum_computers_and_proof_theory

    Granted, the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics is still controversial, but so is the Coppenhagen interpretation of a collapsing wavefunction. (That’s why there are other proposals like many worlds.) The many-worlds interpretation is currently considered a mainstream interpretation of quantum mechanics: “It is currently considered a mainstream interpretation along with the other decoherence interpretations and the Copenhagen interpretation.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Many-worlds_interpretation


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