Signs and Wonders Camp

When The American Jesus posted a video trailer for IHOP’s “Signs and Wonders Camp,” I was ecstatic. Finally I might be able to find out how they get so much filling into their stuffed french toast. I mean, we already know the secret of their omelets is a dollop of pancake batter. Apparently, pancake batter at IHOP is like grace in Calvinist theology: it comes whether you ask for it or not.

But to my bitter disappointment, it turns out to be a promo for the International House of Prayer. Damn.

At the museum I work at, we do all sorts of kids activities based around science and technology. We do the old coffee filter and magic marker chromatography experiment, and we do bridges out of popsicle sticks and we make things out of straws and marshmallows or toothpicks and gumdrops. Well, here’s a camp where you learn how to do faith healing. Charming.

  • Galloway

    It’s funny how the one girl knows how to do the Jesus wave thing–you know, the one where you close your eyes and look all mystical-like, then you thrust your hand into the air and sort of slowly wave it like one of those deep sea chimney worms–and you see these other kids looking at her as their role model, like, “Look at Charlene, she’s really good at the Jesus wave thing. Charlene has a built in swimming pool at home, and her family once flew to Chicago and she got to shop at American Girl. Do it like Charlene does!” So, Charlene takes the role immediately at the Jesus wave thing, because she’s really good at it. This is Charlene’s second year at Jesus camp, and she learned the Jesus wave from Jolene MacRue last year.

    “Yay for Jesus Camp! Where we all look happy but don’t really know why!”

  • Noelle

    You have no idea how disappointed I am that this has nothing to do with pancakes. And I was already getting out the credit card to sign the kids up. sigh, arts and crafts, archery, and swimming instead.

    • Kodie

      Imagine a pancake camp though! Aw, man!

      • UrsaMinor

        I want to be sent to chocolate camp.

  • Charles Corum

    This is disgusting. When you have to brainwash your impressionable kids to get them to believe your bullshit nonsense, instead of allowing them to think for themselves, you are truly a pathetic excuse for a parent.

    • Yoav

      And in contrast you have a moron on CNN asking Jesse Galef if having SSA clubs in high schools isn’t indoctrination, fukc I hate this world.

  • Mingus

    Chinese kids are studying math and science and these children are focused on faith healing? There will never be a shortage of ways religious organizations can make money.

    • UrsaMinor

      There will, however, be a shortage of American kids who understand math and science.

    • vasaroti

      Yeah, I think that mom in the video is imagining a future where her kid can rake in love offerings for “faith healing” the gullible.

  • Bob Jase

    No harvest grain & nuts pancakes?

    No thanks.

  • Artor

    I wonder if the Pancake House has considered suing these idiots. It’s pretty clear that they’re using the acronym IHOP specifically to benefit from the popularity of the copyrighted name. Tell me again how honesty is a Xtian virtue?

    • Mingus

      Unfortunately, in my experience, Christians tend to think anything to further indoctrinate new Christians is the honest thing to do. Anything is “right” in the name of the “lord”. Root of it all.

    • Mark Temporis

      I suspect the chain of pancake restaurants is all too aware of the poor optics that would arise from suing an innocuous little church group, especially one featuring beatific children doing the Jesus wave. Besides, christians drop a lot of money at breakfast places after church (that they don’t drop much for the waiter at the table afterwards is of little concern to the restaurant)

      If this false IHOP group gets too controversial and vocal, though, watch the restaurant chain totally drop the hammer. Don’t think they’d want to be associated with hardcore anti-gay activism or anything.

    • Paul D.

      International House of Pancakes *did* sue them, and they lost.

  • Scott Bailey

    Indoctrinating children into ignorance, stupidity, and superstition from which many of them will never recover… so sad.

  • JamesB

    Love the animation and t-shirts that show someone getting out of the wheelchair. Where is that happening in real life in the video? Surely it’s such a regular occurrence at the camp that they decided to adopt it as the logo, right?

    • Buretsu

      Obviously, that’s the part in the camp where they teach you how to find a person who can walk just fine, stick them in a wheelchair, and then pretend to miraculously heal their legs so the gullible people watching will give you money.

  • dan m.

    Not trying to be a so-called “Christian who thinks their religion is superior to all other religions”, please don’t judge or put all Christians part of the same stereotypes. I am a follower of Christ, who accepts everyone and doesn’t judge anyone for their beliefs no matter if they’re atheists, muslim,budhist, agnostic, hindu, etc. I just live out my life full of joy and loving others because our life is filled with enough stress as it is, why not love on others and accept them for who they are? Not saying that you need to believe in God to do good, just saying please don’t judge every Christian to be the same because some Christians truly try to live out their lives to the best of their abilities.

    • Sunny Day

      If those christians don’t represent you then why do you allow them to get away with calling themselves christian?

    • Johan

      If you didn’t think your religion is superior to all other religions, why did you choose it? If you think it is merely equal then you should believe in many religions. If you think it is inferior you should believe in some other religion.

      It pretty much goes without saying that anyone who follows a religion believes it is superior to all others or they would switch to the one they thought was superior.

  • Rich Wilson

    “I feel free and I gave myself up to God”.

    Lately I’ve been noticing the juxtaposition of people talking on the one hand about freedom, and the other being completely and unquestioningly subservient to a supreme authority.

  • Jerome

    Disgusting indeed. But you’ve got to brainwash the young ones if you want your myths to survive …

    • UrsaMinor

      Well, that’s really the bottom line, isn’t it? If it were simply a matter of The Truth Is Obvious, we wouldn’t see the cultural patterns of religiosity that we do. Local religion is taught to children with nearly the same fidelity as local language.

  • stuart

    I want pancakes now, delicious delicious pancakes

  • Jessica Weaver

    I’ve had hands laid on me when I was a serious believer, and even then there was a little voice–a still, small voice, if you will–that muttered, “did you feel anything? Nothing is happening. But the peoples’ hands…that feels nice. They love me. Someone loves me. I belong here; I am special.” So it’s ok. It’s ok because I need to be part of a family–I need people to love me. And if that means I go along with this hands thing, and the anointing of oil, and the prayer requests, then that’s what it means…even if my prayers are always answered with “wait” and “no”.

    Ah, but if I say that to a believer then I am branded as angry and someone who is grumpy that God didn’t answer my prayers the way I wanted. Shit…I got a lot of things I wanted. I just didn’t get them until I started doing for myself. Sorry, guys, it is the truth.

  • lawn

    I doubt my comment over at youtube is going to be approved.

    • Buretsu

      Considering that the video is over a year old, and there’s only been one approved comment praising the Lord, I’d say never.

  • Tim with an M

    @Artor “I wonder if the Pancake House has considered suing these idiots”

    Actually they did file suit. Bickle’s crew settled out of court IIRC. Google will provide the deets

  • erik

    I missed the part with the signs and wonders.