The Antidote to the Ceiling Cat Bible

In The Rise and Fall of the Bible, Timothy Beal bemoaned the number of “niche Bibles” being published, like the Nascar Bible. It seems like the Bible publishers are aiming for every conceivable market to squeeze a little more money out of the most overprinted work in history. And I suppose this is what you get when you go after the Cute Overload market:

If you love puppies, you will love this Bible! Inside you will find 12 color pages of adorable puppy photos with inspirational thoughts that will encourage you day after day. The Playful Puppies Bible is just the right size to take along wherever you go. Features include: * Presentation page for gift giving * Ribbon marker * Words of Christ in red * 12 pages of adorable puppy photos, Scripture references, and inspirational thoughts * The entire Bible in the New International Version (NIV)

A red letter bible with puppy pictures. Sort of a Bible produced by the LL Bean catalog department, I guess.

Via The Museum of Idolatry.

All Cycles Come to an End
Still Too Large for an Insane Asylum
Being Agent Scully
You Can’t Keep a Bad Man Down
  • Andrew Hall

    I love the twist they did with that Psalm, “My food bowl runneth over…”

  • UrsaMinor

    Way too much cutesy-poo. And I suppose that they’ve cut out the passages about ripping the babies from the bellies of pregnant women and suchlike as incompatible with the fluffy puppy images?

    Marketing spin. Ya gotta love it.

    • trj

      Probably no mention of all the puppies God drowned in the Flood either.

    • seditiosus

      Seeing this makes me wonder whether they printed this thing because the market is saturated and they’re desperate for a gimmick, or because consumers are getting savvier about all the horrible atrocities in the buybull and the cute puppies are intended to strategically distract the readers.

  • mikespeir

    There are other ways to get pictures of cute puppies.

    • Kodie

      There are other ways to get an 8-year-old girl to read a bible.

      • UrsaMinor

        Ponies and unicorns come to mind. The rainbows and glitter are optional.

  • Bill the Splut

    Where’s the Cute Bears version? The one where the Cute Bears eat the 23 children that mocked the bald guy?

  • lawn

    Good news, everyone, the Amazon review trolls have gotten wind of the NASCAR Bible. Great fun.