Global Warming Explained

From National Geographic:

Anti-Glacier Prayer “Worked Too Well”—Vatican Approves New Ritual

About 50 people set out on foot from the Swiss village of Fiesch at dawn on July 31. As the sun rose over 13,000-foot (4,000-meter) Alpine peaks, the procession moved slowly up a mountainside and into the cool of a pine forest, stopping at a tiny church. [...]

“Glacier is ice, ice is water, water is life,” intoned priest Toni Wenger, before beseeching God to stop the glaciers high above them from melting.

By changing a few, crucial words in the liturgy, Father Wenger reversed a Catholic ritual that for 350 years had implored the heavens to push back the glaciers.

The Vatican had approved the change as the effects of global warming became all too tangible in the Alps. [...]

“We prayed for the ice to recede, and our prayer worked—too well,” said Herbert Volken, mountain guide and mayor of Conches, the district that includes Fiesch.

In 2009 the local parish council petitioned the Vatican to allow a change in the wording of the prayer. A year later the Holy See agreed, and Volken hopes the new prayer will work as well as the last one.

Do you think that we could get American Evangelicals to admit that global warming is real if we convince them that it’s all the fault of the Catholics?

Via Doubtful News

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  • Azel

    We might get them to admit it’s real, but I fear that wouldn’t buy us much. Because instead of acting against climate change by changing their habits, reducing their CO2 emissions and other potentially useful things, they’ll just pray to God to counteract the Catholics’ demonic prayers, or something like that.

    • Yoav

      since the catlicks are now praying against global warming does it mean that evangelicals should pray for it?

  • mikespeir

    As a Pentecostal I knew that Catholics were a conduit from Hell. So this isn’t surprising.

  • Lurker111

    I couldn’t write _fiction_ that included stupidity like this, and get it past an editor.

  • The Other Weirdo

    “water is life”? Someone been reading too much Dune, I fear.

  • blotonthelandscape

    This could have been an Onion article, but part of me is glad it isn’t.

  • Hitchslapper

    Aaaaah yes, Religion….. change it any way you’d like to suit the current situation. Works every time….. It’s the greatest scam ever purpetrated on the Human Race…. The most Gullible race…..

  • Trevor
  • lawn

    Well, that explains everything!

  • JK

    Well lets see if the prayer works. They should have been more precise with the prayer: Grow back 1m per day for 100 days, so one could measure the effectiveness of the prayer. But guess what, even if that prayer didn’t work, they still could say [enter your god's name here] works in mysterious ways.

  • Paul H.

    It took 350 years and the industrial age for the first go round to work? God works in mysterious ways doesn’t he.

  • pagansister

    Leave it to the Catholics to be sure they can start and stop what happens on earth. Jeeze! Well, if indeed the prayer to make the glaciers stop growing, (right, and a god made the moon of green cheese) seems to have worked so well, then naturally the prayer (approved by HRH El Pope) to restore them and have them increase should most certainly work!! :o) Yes, humans have most certainly (IMO) contributed to global warming, but I really don’t think the RCC is going to make it stop just by appealing to a god type. Start with helping us reduce the emissions that have contributed—with something besides talking to the sky!