Predicting the Next Scandal

Predicting the Next Scandal August 15, 2012

That masked blogger known to the world as Christian Nightmares has been carefully tracking scandals within the American evangelical community. He’s got some (tongue-in-cheek) guesses about which evangelical figures are about to issue tearful apologies:

Todd Bentley
When I think of insanely hyper scamvangelist Todd Bentley, one word comes to mind: meth. I mean really, what else would make someone constantly scream at the top of their lungs and claim to heal people by kicking them in the face or punching them in the sternum? And considering his past…

Doug Giles
You have to wonder if über macho man Doug Giles might have some skeletons in the closet, so to speak. He’s constantly sucking on a fat cigar, obsessed with guns, and never shuts up about metrosexuals and “sissies.” Overcompensate much?

Mark Driscoll
Like Doug Giles, pastor Mark Driscoll goes out of his way to prove his masculinity, seems obsessed with “effeminate” boys, and is often accused of being misogynistic. But like arrogant, power-tripping egomaniac Jack Schaap, he also seems preoccupied with sex and shares some interesting “visions” with couples he offers counseling to. Is it fair to say that a scandal involving Driscoll could go both ways?

Steven Anderson
Self-admitted gay-hating pastor Stephen Anderson would seem like an obvious candidate for a homosexual affair, but he seems much too repressed for that. But his deep-seeded anger is unparalleled in the evangelical world, and that rage has to go somewhere. Would anyone be surprised if the police were called to his house for a domestic disturbance?

William Tapley
If someone were to dig up William Tapley’s backyard, what would they find? Everyone knows that truly crazy people have no idea they’re crazy, and William Tapley’s (aka The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse aka The Co-Prophet of the End Times) deadpan self-assurance is astounding. His biblical predictions and conspiracy theories are wacky enough (and I’ve posted videos of many of them), but this video in particular really gives me the chills.

(Go to the original post to see the various links provided.)

These are good, but my money is on Bryan Fischer. He’s been steadily ratcheting up the crazy for a couple of years now. With his latest suggestion that there needs to be an “underground railroad” to get kids out of gay households, I don’t know where he’s going to go. Either the American Family Association is finally going to shuffle him off into a back room, or he’s going to start biting his radio equipment.

So who do you think will be the next prominent conservative Christian who gets placed on “indefinite medical leave,” and why?

And there ought to be a name for this. When you’re wagering on who is going to die, you call it a “ghoul pool.” What do you call it when you’re wagering on who will be disgraced?

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