Quote of the Moment: Secede

There are a number of petitions in the US Government’s Open Petitions page that run like this:

Peacefully grant the State of Iowa to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, …

Dear petitioners,

If you’re asking permission from the federal government for the right to secede … you’ve completely missed the point. It’s like asking the government’s permission to have a revolution.

It’s charming, like hearing a twelve-year-old asking their parents for money so they can run away from home. But all the old confederates are now spinning in their grave like a lathe.

  • Albert

    They might also wish to spell, “S-E-C-E-D-E” correctly, not, “S-E-C-D-E-E-” as in your photograph.

    • Custador

      Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.

  • Lurker111

    I kinda wonder if the “SECDEE” photo isn’t a fake. Seems too obvious, too pat.

    As to the secession petitions, is there an _expulsion_ petition? ;)

  • Nox

    No state can secede. The federal government will not let any state secede. Even if they would, every state is dependent on federal funding. This applies even to the states which contribute more to the federal budget than they take in federal spending. Of course it applies even more to states which receive more in federal spending than what they contribute in revenue (which would be the same states where people are talking about secession).

    To some people in some states, secession is just the perfect piece of bloody pandery red meat. To the government of any state (ie the people who manage the books and know where the money comes from) it is, and will remain, inconceivable.

    Well, maybe inconceivable is too strong a word. One could easily conceive this scenario.

    Day 1: Iowa peacefully secedes from the union.

    Day 2: The U.S. Department of Agriculture stops writing the checks for their corn subsidies.

    Day 3: In the wake of the corn subsidy meltdown and a few million secessionists not getting their medicaid or social security checks, widescale rioting ensues.

    Day 4: In response to the riots, the president of Iowa attempts to mobilize the Iowa detachment of the National Guard only to discover it was part of the U.S. Army and all it’s resources have been relocated.

    Day 5: Iowa applies for admission into the union.

  • The Vicar

    How about we kick Texas out, using the following process:

    1. Remove all federal weaponry from the state. (Including, naturally, the nukes.)
    2. Set a deadline for the kick-out approximately 1 year after the end of step 1.
    3. Make a list of all the people in Texas who don’t want to leave.
    4. Make a list of all the people in other states who want to leave. (If the two don’t match up quite correctly, add in one of the southern states which will be mostly-underwater after the ice caps melt.)
    5. Swap the people on the two lists before the end of the deadline for step 2.
    6. Compensate the people brought in from Texas for having been uprooted. (We don’t owe the jerks in Texas anything.)
    7. Bring in Puerto Rico as a new 50th state so we don’t have to change the flags.
    8. Sit back and watch as Texas turns into a third-world hellhole. More than it already is, I mean. (Make sure to build a wall along the borders!)

    • LRA

      How about you quit stereotyping Texans?

      I’m a godless, liberal, scientist with additional degrees in philosophy and English. And I’m a Texan.

      • LRA

        And, no, I don’t want to leave Texas.

        • UrsaMinor

          You’d miss the chili. Admit it.

  • http://www.dregstudios.com Brandt Hardin

    The racism of yesteryear has come full circle in our county. The entire world embraced our choice of a black President four years ago and most nations of the world still support him. The fringe elements of Republican sect have crept through into the mainstream once again with conservative mouthpieces planting the seeds of hate. The only doubt lies here at home rooting from bigotry. Watch the white hands paint Obama in Blackface at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2012/10/bamboozling-obama.html

  • Paul

    I was completely unsurprised that my home state of Georgia is the source of one of the petitions. Were any of these put up by anyone in power in any of the states? I think that the leaders whether democrat or republican know that they would largely collapse. I suspect its much more likely that they are posted by right wing nutcases. The list of states surprised me some. New Jersey and New York were there. Again, its just a temper tantrum by right wing racist 2 year olds. Send them to bed without their supper and see if they behave better tomorrow.

  • http://cicerosvoiceblog.wordpress.com/ Cicero

    No matter why they want to do this, be it the less legitimate issue of racism or a more legitimate issue of distrust of the polices of our government, how can anyone feel that this is a good idea? Do we learn nothing from our history? This didn’t work in the 1860′s it wouldn’t work now and with the state of the world today and the modernizing and position of the US as a world leader the results would be even more disastrous.

    Please read my blog for my further thoughts:
    http://cicerosvoiceblog.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/divided-we-fall-secession-and-its-stain-on-america/


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