Sandra Tree

The war is over. Go home. Sandra Lee, Food Network celebrity chef and New York’s First something-or-another (First Lady-friend? Partner? Public concubine?) has officially forced Christmas to jump the shark with this Christmas tree:

Yes, that is a silver tiger at the base. Money may or may not buy happiness, but it can’t even make the down payment on good taste.

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  • UrsaMinor

    I can’t say that I’m surprised that this is the sort of Christmas tree favored by a woman who wears silver lamé outfits to bake cookies.

    As I gaze into its fulgent depths, though, I can’t quite shake the impression that this is not a tree at all. It’s more like a rift in spacetime caused by exceeding the critical value for bad taste.

  • Kodie

    Without the tiger, it would look boring.

    • LeftWingFox

      It does look like a pile of white cat hair anyways, so the tiger makes sense.
      Just not GOOD sense.

  • mikespeir

    Where do those things grow? I want one.

  • vasaroti

    Is that spun glass? Let’s hope no small children or pets are in this home. I dislike monochrome trees and most of the ones that are supposed to be tasteful. A riot of vintage and homemade ornaments is my choice.

    What exactly was your point about Cuomo and Lee living together? The religious folks keep telling us that marriage is all about raising kids with good values, so if no kids are planned or possible, then even hetero couples shouldn’t be allowed to marry, right? Anyway, I hope the Catholic church will start denying communion to everyone living in sin and reduce their flock still more.

  • Bob Jase

    While the Pope recently wrote that there were no oxen, sheep or donkeys at the nativity he did not say there were no tigers so I assume this is RCC correct.

  • Andy

    My favorite part is the monogram.

  • Dale

    I like the tiger, the rest looks like some kind of mold culture that escaped from the lab.

  • FO

    Please please please, let’s not make UF a centre for (minor, major or average) celebrity gossip.
    And I’m not a big fan of being judgemental of other people’s taste.
    I understand the need to fly low every now and then, but can’t we talk about, dunno, pumpkin pie recipe, how to fold a Christmas paper crane or whether it’s ok to ask your guests to take the shoes off?

    • Kodie

      I don’t know how to make a paper crane. Ask Bigfoot if he knows. It is not ok to ask a guest to take their shoes off, mostly because nobody wants to look at their feet. Shoes are part of the outfit.

      • Francesco

        When you take the shoes off at another person’s home, it usually means that you know each other from a long time/ you are very good friends

        • Kodie

          If you feel comfortable after a few drinks, kick ‘em off. This question is mostly about the host’s floors getting marked or dented and germs/dirt that are brought into their house from the shoes and making guests to a party leave their shoes at the door. I understand shoes are gross, but that is not a good enough reason to make your guests feel like germ monsters and have to show their socks or toe fungus or ruin the accessorization of their outfit just to come inside. That said, if someone asked, I would be as prepared as possible to take off my shoes and not make a scene about my feelings on the subject.

      • vasaroti

        I’ve known several people over the years who posted signs requesting shoe removal. Compromised immune system, I believe.
        I got used to doffing shoes during ab extended trip to Taiwan and have maintained the practice at home.

  • PsiCop

    Sandra Lee’s problem is, she desperately wants to be the next Martha Stewart. Her show on the Food Network always featured arts & crafts … even though it’s fully outside their mission (which, obviously, is cooking and “food”) in order to indulge this wish. Apparently she’s keeping up the pretense of being a “Martha Stewart,” even though this photo shows very clearly that she has no business trying to be another Stewart.

    Not that I’m a fan of Stewart. She’s nearly as ridiculous in her fastidiousness and snobbery. I saw her once making a centerpiece with ribbon and candles, ordering viewers never, ever to use anything other than beeswax candles and imported French ribbon … because quite obviously, nothing else in the universe is acceptable.

    Not only does the world not need this duplicate Martha Stewart, the world never needed Stewart in the first place.

  • Mark Temporis

    I kind of like the silver tree, especially if Sandra Lee presented it wearing all silver and preferably hair dyed platinum-blonde. I used to have a customer at my old shop who was like that: her dress, her nails, her shoes, her purse, her eyeshadow: all the same colour. It’s a very strange, Stepford Wife-style effect. Made me a little nervous. Ironically her profession was helping people with their anxiety issues.

  • Kodie

    If I could just say this about Christmas: ? It’s the one time of year you can go balls-out if you want to. It’s a tacky holiday made for tacky decorations. I don’t understand how understated or classy can one possibly expect anyone to be if it’s Christmas.

    I don’t even know who this person is but I’ve seen this tree made fun of on 3 different blogs, three entirely nothing-to-do-with-each-other blogs, and only one of them about decorating. It is the wishes that make Christmas fun, the license to .. I mean, yeah, that tiger wasn’t bought at TJ Maxx, it’s something like $3000 but you can use it again. Why is nobody any fun?

    • Mogg

      Now I totally want a Christmas Godzilla. It should be just right for scaring the cats.

    • Francesco

      Ah, uou should see our xmas tree. (my father, altough atheist, has a feticism for decorations)

      • Kodie

        I remember as a kid, we’d drive around at night to see lights on the houses. This was at a time I call “before”. Keep in mind this is over 30 years ago, so no one was doing hundreds of hours of work on their displays and syncing it up to music or anything. No LEDs, no inflatable snowmen, and not even icicle lights. We used to put a string of colored bulbs across the eave and down the end of our house, and an electric plastic light-up Frosty the Snowman. Maybe melted plastic Christmas decorations in the window. Anyway, some people didn’t try hard enough, some were “gavonne” (I still don’t know if that’s a real word or how to spell it). Few hit some sort of arbitrary balance.

        Then the big giant ex-farmhouse put a single white candle in all its windows. That became “after”. My mom switched to white lights only for the tree and candles in the window were easier than hanging lights outside on the house. Boooo-ring.

        The first year I moved out, I bought a small tree, 3 feet tall, and put it on a dresser I hated. My mom gave me some old glass ball ornaments that were now too tacky (retro), and the rest of my ornaments came from literally the junk drawer and very few new ones – which I did want to start my own collection and not just fill in spaces. All the bits and ends that were shiny, I put a hook on them, little figurines, broken jewelry, ribbons from wedding favors and contests, about 400 blinking colored lights, and a home-made star made out of cardboard, glitter, gold acrylic paint, and a toilet paper tube on the back to hold it onto the tree. Now who am I to judge what makes someone happy? It’s just the wrong thing to fixate on, in my opinion. You gotta express yourself and most of the year, people hold back. People shield themselves, and conform to the taste of other people, I think that’s sad when that happens at Christmas. Sadder than having no one to go to the movies with you on Christmas.

        • The Other Weirdo

          And when you turn the whole thing on, they have to engage a a nuclear reactor to compensate. Just like in Christmas Vacation. :)

    • UrsaMinor

      If I could just say this about Christmas: ? It’s the one time of year you can go balls-out if you want to. It’s a tacky holiday made for tacky decorations.

      I think you have Christmas confused with Halloween. But then, so has the end-of-the-year holiday juggernaut that is American retail, so you may be forgiven for that impression.

      • Kodie

        You’re wrong and here’s why you’re wrong – Pbbbbbbtttht!

  • Charlie

    So, you’ve never seen an eight foot dust bunny before?

  • The Other Weirdo

    It looks like a giant fire hazard to me. That, or one of those stellar phenomena beloved by Star Trek et al that occasionally disgorge alien battlefleets that try to wipe out all kittens across the universe. Or something like that.

    But I love that line: “Money may or may not buy happiness, but it can’t even make the downpayment on good taste.” Gonna have to steal it.

    • UrsaMinor

      I think you’re onto something here. If I squint, it looks kind of like the Crystalline Entity trying to disguise itself as a harmless triffid.

  • Kodie

    There is so little joy in the world.